(0:00)Episode

I know my husband is a good man but sometimes I wish he was dot dot dot rougher h a man marrying a woman and being like undercover AKA like like men but then you're messing with a woman is like a that's not a good thing yeah so is it the better thing that he likes women and he's married but he's messing with women if I had to if I had to generalize I would say we would accept that yeah if men cannot reproduce they cannot fulfill their mandate and their species goes further to Extinction along the path of Extinction it's all part of the death spiral unfilter give you this Ro because we identify or we believe based off of things you have said in the past that you have leadership qualities right and then you get into the role and you don't want to do the work of a leader right a Leader's work is work you know what I'm saying is work inspiring people is work it's not easy it's not easy no other than engineering human nature engineering you can control some things it's it's hard it's hard to lead it's easier to just you know throw your title around and get people to fall in line you know wave their paycheck and dismiss sleep in front of them and they'll fall in line I feel like that's like that's like you know the words that come to mind I'm not allowed to use cuz I don't know recording but you know that's kind of like just very like Punk Behavior you know just it's just weak smooth there you go there you go I got you no no honor you know you know I think we should do be I think we should do that where like once just one sermon for like five minutes you get someone to come on stage and say the words I cannot say you start saying so you start preing and then you I to say crazy you know they said they will now C and say this this African Pastor has allowed people in his congregation to to be saying they say it anyway I say your conation to but seriously speaking though I did test people who who I detest men who don't lead when they should lead and who demand followership I don't like it at all that's crazy it's it's unjust it it it elicits from me a visceral response if you're going to lead leading is work now it takes it's going to take you twice as long to do some things that you could you know just streten people and and the fall in line or do it yourself leading requires inspiration Vision casting you know you have to you have to sell the vision some people will come on say that this is the vision right yeah and the vision because it's Noble because it's you know it's ideal they expect it to immediately inspire you and motivate you just the very existence of a vision should inspire you and that's that's nonsense you have to sell the vision to me you have to show me my place in the vision you have to show me how the vision benefits me you have to show me how the vision benefits the community the fact that it's loadable to you doesn't mean anything to me what about those companies that are big you get that that maybe in the beginning they had a vision mission statement and it was personal it was real but it've gone so big that you're a new higher you see the vision of mission statement but to your point no one has sold it to you they don't need to sell it to you because you're not there because of the vision you're there because of your paycheck oh okay so nobody needs to sell anything to you the only Vision you need is your paycheck and the things you can do with your paycheck that's the only Vision you need to do vision statement are just it's to guide them in their operation But ultimately right in real terms it does not impact anybody anybody tells you they're going to work for Microsoft because of the vision right it's partly true yeah we we said we want to work for them because of the culture which the vision impacts the culture partly true but let Walmart pay them more yeah only a few people only a few people that would stay because of the passion of the right let some people would tell that oh I could never work for a company that is not environmental friendly environmentally let the BP offer them good money and you and and that is see and capitalism understands this right Corporate America understands that look the truth is this everybody yeah at our base we have to see a benefit in it that includes us yeah right to dedicate Our Lives to it right either the benefit is tangible or intangible I have to see something if the benefit that I see is not not like okay my immediate um living circumstances are improved right but I see that my name is associated with something great that is a benefit to me right it does something for me even the Bible says it is more blessed to give than to receive that blessedness the word blessed in that context is happy right there's a happiness you get from giving happiness is a benefit right yes and so when we talk to people and we can't show them we can't you can't point the benefit to them you can't say to them this is what your participation is going to produce for you for your family for your community for your country then have you led right have you have you really LED anybody right so leadership is hard is is easy to be a boss a boss depends on title A Boss depends on fear right a leader depends on inspiration and sometimes he will use the carrot and the stick as well but he has to know when to use the carrot and has to know when to use the stick but the primary tool of a leader is inspiration people think a leader has to have all the skills right you have to be an organizer you have to be an orator you have to be a uh an operations person no you don't you just have to inspire the organizer Inspire the operations person and Inspire the orator you know and let everybody come together and get the vision you know achieved so when men you know start saying that the Bible says you should submit it asks me you know really really asks me and it asks me when the woman says what kind of man are you you can't you can't even provide yeah you are there consuming and expecting somebody to be providing for you are you are you a are you a are you a are you a consumer if that's the case PF what we have for you today what do you have for me today please now now you're scaring me no even us we scared I me because when you know first of all please don't ask us where we got this from yeah the internet is a wide fast place of you know crazy thingsit um and we got like a like a series of of stories yeah and we want your reaction essentially okay but before we get there hey everybody Welcome y hey welcome to a new week new episode we're so happy to have you guys you guys are scared me hey guys I don't I don't know what these guys have but this episode is sponsored by bar Avenue Bakery I don't think bar is sponsoring this one no they actually are because this segment is this reaction segment is new so it's sponsored by bar Aven do you mind do you mind if we if we uh what if we uh go into the segment sponsored by bar Barrow you guys got to do what you got to do man okay I want to start with the one you loveda cuz that one ties it into up here for say I I'm going choose my my favorite one yeah or at least I going choose one that you choose one we can we can pick it back okay you read first and I'll go next this one this one this one is the little people are things are happening um I know my husband is a good man but sometimes I wish he was dot dot dot rougher H I'm coming he's always preaching Grace and then turning the other cheek and why I admire his kindness I secretly feel like he's weak I've even tried to rile him up at this part didn't like I've even tried to to Rally him up during arguments tapping his chest a little aggressively just to see if I can get a reaction that's wild but all he does is just take a deep breath and walk away I feel horrible for wanting him to be more assertive but part of me craves a sense of strength and protection for me I I get that part I guess I know I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it am I wrong for wanting this is there something missing in me or him I don't think it's wrong for um somebody who is on under the protection of another person to want to feel protected right to want to feel that you are capable of protecting them right I don't think it is wrong for a wife to want her husband to be assertive right um a man who is not assertive can if he's not careful portray weakness right but God has not called men to weakness he has called us to meekness there's a difference between meekness and weakness weekness is a you have a teachable spirit meekness is that you have self-control in the face of provocation right but self-control is not an inability to react right and if necessary react violently right self-control is that you have the ability to choose when and how how you fight right that's good if a husband has not con conveyed to his wife that if it is necessary he will fight if he deems it necessary he will fight then there's a problem there right I think that my wife is clear that if uh Niti got to gritty yeah I would I would stand up and defend oh absolutely yeah yeah absolutely right yeah you go down however however I would also want her to know that it will take more than a finger poking my chest to unhinge my hands from their holster you understand I'm saying yeah yeah yeah um I think there's something wrong with this person right and I'll tell you why with the male or the I mean the wife or the husband with the wife okay right I would agree with by the way I agree with you yeah I think there's something wrong because why would you want to provoke somebody to anger right people go through things in life right and then decide that you know what I'm going to I'm going to just I used to have a temper like I used to have a a very um I used very combustible right and explosive that means I got angry quickly and I got angry explosively and part of the way that I expressed my anger was physically yeah but you know you get into one or two scrapes and then you decide that you know what I'm never going to do this again you do one or two things and you're like you know what God you've delivered me from this I'm never going to do this again for somebody to try and take you back there right just because it's problematic right so Auntie has a problem right she's um what she's looking for she may not like it when she finds it yeah but Uncle also has a problem right because he has not given his family the sense of secur it that they need but has she communicated that or maybe I I would expect so if you I would expect I would expect so yeah I think we're assuming that she has and I said I would expect to I don't think she has I would expect to if you say that he's always talking Grace and and forgiveness and turn the other cheek right are you saying you think he like it's like an avoidance technique in it can be it can be an avoid see this is the thing or Comm wisdom no if it's always so this is the thing right this is the thing every time you must fight it's not that's see you have to remember something that weakness right is avoidance weekness is Judgment right I will decide when to fight and when not to fight right yeah there will be days that requires fighting and there will be days that requires turn the other time for everything right if a man I'm eating at a restaurant and the guy comes up to my table right and he PA a drink of water on my face right maybe we get into you know and back and forth and it PA on my face that is a moment for me to restrain myself right if it PS water on my wife's face that's there's no there's no restraint what if a woman PS water on your wife's face I'm trying I'm trying to understand yeah I'm trying to see where you're like if a woman put on my wife face I would be more restrained right and I'll tell you why the restraint would be because I would feel that my reaction to a man is proportional to a woman is not proportional I'm very aware I'm 6'1 I weigh 1885 lb I'm a pretty big physically person right um there are not many women that match me physically stature wise there there few but they're not many right behind that 61 1885 PB is some energy some Force some power if I throw a punch some tone yes if I throw a punch at a guy he will feel it if I throw a punch at a woman same punch it will have a it will be more impactful so my reaction has to be proportional to the problem right getting physical with a guy who was um who was um who put water on my wife right that's I think a proportional reaction right right getting physical with a woman who P water on my wife is not a proportional reaction right it would literally be like you take a sledgehammer to smack a a a unless unless like she's I will I will stop I will stop her I will use my strength to stop her from escalating it physically but I will not okay I will not be trying to cause her um say that's that's how I I but I'm curious has there ever been a circumstance this is just going off just a little bit has there ever been a circumstance where both of you were mad in a situation and then were you and your wife mad at each other no mad at someone else so for instance an example of if me and W are in the car together and we're driving somewhere and somebody cuts us off we both can clearly see that somebody's cut us off so we might say something to that obviously that person can't hear us but we might have the same reaction what do you mean tell us we we we okay so it's almost it's interesting you say that because what happens in in my in my family is somebody cuts us off and both of us will say what's wrong with this guy what a what an idiot whatever but the minute one person escalated beyond the rhetoric the other person steps back yeah yeah yeah it's almost like there are boundaries with in which we can be angry together so you guys don't like combine your road rage and then attack that's not why it's not wise that's not wise see you see even in Anger even in Anger there has to be some wisdom right you cannot be so angry that you stop thinking yeah it just just blinds your yeah yes and that's the thing why the Bible says you can be angry it's an emotion right it's one of the primary emotions right but don't sin right because you still in the place of anger right can exercise some control God has given you that capacity if you don't exercise it then you are choosing not to exercise it right you're choosing in that moment to not think about all the ramifications so the woman that is saying a husband is weak right because he's always turning the other cheek for me it's like has he ever been in a situation that he actually admitted you know what I should have reacted to protect my family and I didn't right because she might be saying this and they've never maybe they both work from home they're sitting in front of their computer that's what I got I thought that he was like there's never been a circumstance where really required him to step up and you know and I was but she's going to get what she was looking for I I was I don't know why like for me when I the part of I understand wanting your man to be protective or yeah whatever to show strength Bing and slapping the chest is like okay Auntie what are you trying to get at but he might just be one of those guys you know sometimes where people people um want to get a reaction out of you because your lack of reaction implies a disinterest right so they are both having an argument she's upset and he's got this Bland expression on his face right he might be communicating unwittingly you know I don't care about you you're too small for me to engage with you know so he might be ring her up with her silence right and his you know in quotes Mir yes his uh his his his demeanor that is again you know so that story is not complete but is arrogant oh in that example it can be interpreted as arrogance right but she's not interpreting AR interpreting as weakness as weakness I would have a problem with that yeah I would have a problem with I have a problem with both of them I think I think that yeah he he he needs to let her know that I can protect you okay yeah I just have chosen not to and if you poke me I can break your head but I've chosen not to yeah just know that I break your so I would say for that woman one make sure you're having conversations with your spouse about how you feel yeah and I say the opportunity is for the man to communicate to you why he responds the way that he does and if and to assure you that if you were ever in a predicament where he he was required to step up that he would yeah did know work it's no work God that's why we should be praying for people problem we're not praying for chances that we won't work and is possible that this guy just uses scripture as a as a as a as a as a yeah permission structure to be a w I mean it's possible the sentence Arrangement is crazy though we have another one so this one is mad I caught my husband looking at another man lustfully during a dinner party another man okay at first I thought I was imagining it but over the next few weeks I noticed him spending more time with this man texting him often and making excuses to meet up when I confronted him he denied it but recently he admitted that he's been struggling with feelings he doesn't understand and claims he's been praying about them on top of that he started avoiding intimacy with me often saying he's tired and stressed I feel rejected and heartbreak heartbroken is is this something we can overcome with faith and counseling or am I fighting a battle I'll never win wahala okay so so I'd love to ask that woman would it have been better if it was a woman that he was lost in after was a good one like does it make a difference whether it's a man or woman I think okay out of limia obviously we don't know this person right I would assume that it probably would have been better be upset but we would she wouldn't have been as really I think so I don't know I'm not the truth is that let's ask the woman out me and Tori had this conversation we kind of did and so to be fair I think the um like the connotation around like a man marrying a woman and being like undercover AKA like like men but then you're messing with a woman is like a it's a thing that's not a good thing yeah so is it the better thing that he likes women and he's married but he's messing with women I I don't understand question I think if I had to if I had to generalize I would say we would accept that yeah I think so over who got you liken a man and you are married to a woman can I be honest with you I think that but that's I'm just saying like as a society but I think speaking I think it's is lack of thought right and let me explain what I mean a man yeah who is attracted to another man right and and this is going to be I'm going to say it and it's going to be a problem I know and I'm going to hear about it but I'm going to say it Wait f you want to say sure you want to say okay we are filter please if a man is attracted to is married to a woman he attracted to another man chances are chances are it is not that he's choosing to be attracted to the woman to the man there's a lot of stigma attached to it right there's a lot of shame in our culture attached to it it's one of those things that you don't admit right you don't even wish for yeah do you I'm saying for fear of being here like for yes so if a a man is attracted to another um man yeah right it is for me more I would there would be more empathy right because I know that this man is not choosing this attraction right and I know that chances that he's sincerely fighting it right if it's another woman and he has a woman in the house he has chosen to look he's making a choice I see what you're saying choices are more problematic than impulses perspective yeah makes sense for me right however yeah it is a problem yeah right that um has the potential to destroy their marriage yeah wonder if they have kids it doesn't say and Destroy his life right and if it is assume that they have children already by the way right okay yeah it has the potential to destroy a lot of things right but it also has the potential to not destroy right to strengthen even because if they both say okay well you've got a problem and your problem is our problem right let us look into a solution for it right let's discuss it let's discuss it and the first step in any solution that a Christian knows the Bible says cast your burdens right be anxious for nothing with Thanksgiving and supplication bring your request before the Lord go to the Lord in prayer right every human being every human being has um impulses and urges and thoughts right that are not profitable that are dangerous to varying degrees of intensity at different times we all experience something that we know is a problem if expressed to its fullest right what keeps us many times is the power of God I said I said the exact same thing you guys were on point I said the same if they take this to God together yeah right as a team and say God we' we've got a problem this is a thing that could destroy our marriage yeah God can answer their prayer right but that is a that is a conversation that requires a lot of sincerity mhm a lot of self awareness right the man has to be sincere with himself what's going on here but he is technically because he had a conversation with her I thought I thought that was that was with himself I'm saying with himself with himself okay with himself first but I think he must have had some sort of conversation with himself for him to then communicate that to his wife thatl that he's having feelings that he can't explain because at this point what does that mean feelings that you can't explain that's what that's what he's trying to use to say he likes the guy no I think he's to your point I think I think he's saying like Okay I I know this is I'm struggling with something I don't understand yes I don't understand it so it's not like this is something that um I think he understands that he likes a guy because he's spending more time with him I don't think liking a guy right liking a guy and wanting to have sex with a guy two different things okay right okay good good distinguishing Point like somebody I want to sleep with somebody are two different things this sound like anything has went down but then you're spending more time with him just like going but that means he must have okay so the reason why I'm able to I'm differentiating the two is because he probably has male friends m but the way that he's looking at this guy is different from the way that he's looking at his other male friends right right so so let let's assume he he realizes he has a samesex attraction for this guy right right and he has sat down he has thought about it then let him let him when I say bere with himself be sincere with yourself as to how you're feeling be sincere with yourself as to what you want right because if you want to be in this situation with this person this strange man or woman you have you have to be sincere with yourself so you don't go back to your wife and tell her lies that oh well you know I'm having feelings I don't understand when you understand perfectly well what you want and what you're feeling just yeah yeah he has to be kind of crazy honest himself okay this is what I because if if you are honest with yourself I say look I really don't want this marriage anymore right this is what I want now then tell the person but don't go and you know um guing it saying that he doesn't know I think he knows he see let me tell you something by the time he has stopped sleeping with his wife right because he's feeling something for someone else H yeah the guy knows what he's he cuz yeah she did say he sted like their intimacy as kind of doing because he's now stressed who knows maybe he's but they were having they were intimate before yes and she said he now now stopped because he said buta made a good point he was tired that what if Sometimes some things like this could happen prior to marriage what do you mean you might like situations in which maybe you knew that you were having um sexual feelings for the same sex but maybe because you grew up in a Christian home and you didn't want to be feel the shame you know say if I enter a marriage and pray to God it might go away you know one one of they pray pray the G away yeah something like maybe you know I realize about Humanity I'm begin to understand that some things are not always some people some people not everybody are actually on the Spectrum right some people black or white some people are in a bit of a grayish area right and I've said this before I don't know if I've said it on this podcast I'm going to get into trouble with everybody this is not going to make anybody happy but I'm going to say it when sin entered the world right when um I Adam and Eve fell they said emotion and process right we always think that you know we say that oh they didn't die physically they died spiritually right what happened spiritually is that they were disconnected from the spirit of God right they were they were disconnected from spirit of God but when God said or when the the the idea of man dying right we always narrow it down to Adam but it's not Adam is mankind right death became a thing for mankind and if you look if you look from the time of Adam down man has been dying yeah and when I say man has been dying individual men has been have been dying right but mankind our lifespan is getting shorter and shorter and shorter there were times when we had metella right now we're talking how how long that a few hundred years now we're talking 1890s right man is on a downward spiral yeah technology has not been able to slow it down significantly we're shaving off a few years on the margins right great health care people in America well let's not say America people people people in the in the in the in the most uh uh Progressive Western nations in Europe right in in Japan in Asia right where they're supposed to live long they live max 104 105 yeah and even at 104 105 you can tell that this person is not in their Prime right not in their Prime it's crazy 105 you know but go go to the underdeveloped countries of the world and either way 80 90 100 and they still yeah the difference is not significant is my point right yeah man's life is on a downward spiral there are many things yeah that have entered into the conversation to push that one of those things I believe is homosexuality homosexuality at its root is an attack on man's reproductive ability I agree right I agree if men cannot reproduce they cannot fulfill their mandate and their species goes further to Extinction along the path of Extinction it's all part of the death spiral of man right that goes beyond the choice people are making yeah if you if you were if you were born in Cano State in Nigeria right uh the Northern parts of Nigeria for those who are listening and you wake up and say you're a homosexual right it's very different than if you were born in San Francisco yeah and say you're a homosexual in San Francisco if you say you could you can actually decide oh you like the way your homosexual neighbor dresses so you know you're going to try this homosexuality thing you can make a choice yeah I'm not saying everybody's making a choice right but you can make a choice and and you know you can experiment with it you can say let let me try that lifestyle right and you dabble for a couple of years and like you know what this is not for me in Cano you open your mouth and you say you are gay is a death sentence done so why would a person choose to put himself under a death sentence just for the bands or The Vibes I so if somebody in count is saying he's a homosexual I'm very I'm less likely to believe that he chose that lifestyle than someone in San Francisco right what is somebody in United States cuz this we don't know again because we don't know somebody United States this person I'm just saying right just okay right if somebody in United States comes and says I'm I'm I'm I'm gay right yeah for me I don't automatically assume that they were born that way because I know that being gay here is permissible there's no risk so to speak let me rephrase that there is less risk yeah the R are the risk are minimal compared to other no they're not minimal no minimal no they risk people who get killed in their families right there people who go through in America oh yes there are families that are are crazy here and it's been known to happen right there are people who are ostracized from their communities is not it's it can be difficult yes I agree extremely difficult here yes but I guess compared other parts of the world yes it's not a death sentence to be here yeah it's a death sentence in parts of Africa right so I feel like I would not automatically say a person who is gay is choosing to be gay some people have experienced trauma right like I said I'm going to get in trouble with everybody but everybody should drink some water and be all right some people I actually believe we're H way right because I can't imagine that you wake up in Caro and of all the things that you choose to do with your life is to be a homosexual you will not only be ostracized you will be killed and I would say would you say like I guess I'm thinking about it I'm I'm thinking that it's as a result of like just sin and iniquity right like just like I think when I think about like my two-year-olds or like I don't have any two-year olds anymore my kids are getting older but when my second Bor was like like just turning three he would see his brother do something he wouldn't do that thing he would do something a little bit different I'm like where did you learn this thing like like tell lies I'm like why why you li so you're saying you're saying it could be learned you're saying it could be learned no I'm saying that may I I think it can be learned but I also think that there's certain things that can I mean that just a result of being born into the Earth that that's the point because nobody teaches a twoe to yeah but that's what I'm trying to say that's what I'm saying that's I I agree with you from that perspective of like just like sin and in iniquity but but see this is the thing right and this is this is where Christians I I worry sometimes and again please everybody don't be annoyed we always point out how the Bible says homosexuality is an Abomination right and the Bible does say that it's an Abomination but in a sense leprosy was an Abomination if you had leprosy you were considered you're not allowed in the Comm you were ostracized can I make a distinguish a distinguishing feature that I think the Bible it always talks about the acts of that thing okay I I never hear the Bible just talk about the thought well yes obviously I know that it talks about when you think of when you think a thing but I think those men were acting those things out which is why it was able to be pointed out you're saying if they didn't the Bible you're saying there wouldn't be much of a problem if it was just here and it wasn't thought didn't become action right because I think it be a generation of it it would be it would be a problem whether it was a thought or an action yes but I think because it was acting on that made that g that gave it it no no no remember what Jesus Christ said if you look at the woman to Lost after her yes all you did was look correct right you are guilty of adulter and the reason why he said that was because he wanted to elevate he wanted to show us that the issue is not just our hands but also our hearts our hearts right yes the point I was trying to make with homosexuality and leprosy is that right a leper was treated um they weren't killed but they were left to die right today we have I I don't know the science of it right but we don't speak about lepers from the same moral perspective that we speak about homosexuals but the way that they were treated adulterers in the in scripture were stoned the punishment for adultery what's the difference between the punishment for adultery and the punishment of homosexuality in the Old Testament they were killed right but we have somehow found a way right to not we don't accept adultery we don't accept it we we we it's wrong we we say that in fact Paul actually said a guy who was sleeping with his father's wife not his mother right so his maybe stepmom right should be ostracized kicked out of the church right but we are more tolerant of it in a sense right we we we we frown on it but not with the same Vigor we're not trying to put the adulteras on an island to die off we' gladly do it to the homosexuals that was what was done to the lepers right and I'm sitting down here thinking that the mass is not massing yeah it ties back to your earlier Point um it's come clocking when you said would she be okay if if he was attracted to to a woman so you're you're guess you're trying to the Mas doesn't matter you're trying to what I'm me you say if I'm wrong but you're trying to say why is one scene bigger thaning this thing again self one is bigger than the other it's not it's a cult even though Christ was trying to eliminate that it's a cultur because the way that we even look at someone that's a homosexual not the same way that we look at somebody that does pedophilia yeah but as a these are cultural things but but okay no no no no no no no no those are two different things homosexuality and pedophilia are two different things but there are people that say that they're born like that yes again right again yeah the fact that you were born cous does not make does not mean mean you should you should be coting do you get what I'm trying to say we were all born with the nature of sin correct and it manifest in different people in different ways yes right in the homosexual the nature of sin manifests as homosexuality correct in somebody who considers himself heterosexual the nature of sin manifests in um an inappropriate desire to sleep with people that are not supposed to be sleeping with but what same thing with pedophilia yes but homosexuality adultery has a component that pedophilia does not two people who have who are consenting who are consenting okay right who are able to do the math and say I want to do this a child can consent but we all know that a children do not have their complete sense right not just from a oh you know what do they know but physically their brains are not fully formed so a child will say yes to things that on the surface they understand when you were a teenager right if you look back to your teenage years there's some things you did that you're thinking to yourself now what was I thinking I agree with that but I think there there can be some challenges what's the challenge because I think when you think about a a girl a young girl's body right so right now we are using the example of a a grown man and a younger girl right back I would just say back in the day it was determined that once a girl gets her period she's now an adult right right and so when you think about the young ladies that are getting their period now it starts at like 7 right so to some societies that can be considered she's an adult she's ready for marriage but in our society now we would look at that has pedophilia marage has always been a social construct right it's the society that determines the terms of marriage okay right it is God there's nowhere in the Bible that says this is the age at which a person marries God has always left it to us to determine that is why in America you get married by going to the Justice of the Peace by going to court in African some African countries you get married by giving gifts right to your um parents In some cultures the parents decide right some In some cultures you buy your wife In some cultures you pay for your wife In some cultures right um it's not and then the age find out the wife is more expressive right the age of marriage right is also a cultural thing okay right and as man has evolved that number has moved right now Beyond in the past it used to be around when a child hit puberty right yes but remember that a lot of the things that were going on in the world back then are not going on now yes right then what are we whereit wait I'm going I'm going somewh right so in those days right a child was not hitting puberty at 7 right yeah a child was not hitting puberty at 7 right if you think that lifespan was 45 or something or whatever right a child hits puberty at I don't know 13 14 no probably a little older that number has been going down right it's been going down it's not going up it's been going down right if a 14-year-old right and and by the time was growing up kids were hitting puberty at 14 1415 even yeah 1415 right chances are before in the 1800s they may have been hitting puberty at 17 I don't know right but let's just assume the brain H yeah of a 17year old is different from the brain of a seveny old right there are I don't know any society that would say 7y old can consent to marriage I do it's not the seven-year-old that consents to marriage it's the parents it's the parents right the parents are the problem there right so if somebody comes and says he wants to sleep with a seveny old right there's no parental involvement just him and this seven-year old you cannot compare that 7 year old's ability just because she's had she's gone through puberty yeah right to be able ble to compute the implications of sleeping with somebody getting pregnant carrying a baby to term right and dealing with the realities of being a mother anybody who say a seveny old is able to accurately com compute comprehend analyze all of those factors and come to a decision is is mad it's not possible I agree acting itself will still be considered pedophil yes and and it should be so that's what I'm saying whether that is back then or today so this is like saying we're com comparing homosexuality with murder yes no you can't compare I don't think you should compare homosexual murder I think you should compare pedophilia with murder where you are sinning against somebody else you are taking from them life against their will right as opposed to two people consenting to do something bad yeah would you would you say that still I mean I don't have a I don't would you say that still a certain you know cuz where I was falling earlier I was like the sin should not be um not should not be but we're creating hierarchies for sin I don't think we should create hierarchies for sin however I do think sins are different okay right it is one thing for me and you right to do something that we choose together to do is another thing for me to force you to do something something right right Sin is Sin but they are different one is one is wor the Bible says that when you commit fornication you are sinning against your own body you sin against yourself this is sin but is sin against yourself right when you commit adultery you sin against your partner or the other person's partner the the the the calculation changes when there is someone else paying the price for your weakness and that's this is my not struggle but this is where I'm getting a little bit confused because I'm not saying it should be punished right right no no I'm not even going to that the one I don't have what I'm so when Christ in that same verse that Christ said um if you look at a woman lustfully or you commit adultery it's the same sin he also use example of if you murder someone and you angry in your heart you're guilty of the same sin and again what I after what I got from that verse was Christ is trying to say he beond actions obvious the heart has to be involved but that's to me still one one sin is murdering someone else one one is anger MH but to Christ it seems like difference no it's anger at someone else it's anger at someone else okay right it's focused on someone else right understand also that scripture what Jesus Christ he was talking to Pharisees and Pharisees were very focused on the the law right and Paul had taught us that if the law had not said do not be Covetous you know then I would not know that I was courageous right the purpose of the law Christ was trying to show the Pharisees was that to show you your heart right if the Bible says do not commit adultery the Bible also says do not covet and you're looking at a woman to sleep with her you are already coveting right Christ was trying to show us that the problem of of sin transcends just what you do right he was pointing to things that people would say was impossible how do you not look at a woman right you can control a bird you can stop a bird from building a nest on your head you can't stop it from flying over your head MH Christ was trying to say the flying of the bed over your head is a problem right he was trying to say your thoughts are a problem right right you can we all we all we all get angry right right we all get angry and when we when we get angry we say that you're a fool right he was say that even the most inous acceptable thing to us is not acceptable to God he wasn't trying to do equivalence or equation he was trying to show you that the nature is the problem so he was pointing to things that to some extent some would consider natural right so it wasn't a about adultery per se right or anger or murder it was about the nature of sin yeah which is where I'm like that's what I that's where I'm I was going to so and again I don't want to pedophilia homosexuality these are things that are beyond my understanding so I don't want to we're not really we're just trying to make what I'm trying to get some clarity on this yeah because this is this is important for me personally I don't like audience like for me this is important because I I realized there's when you said the f I think I believe that I am a Pharisee I think I I actually think more than day we're more than day Pharisees as Christians cuz we're a little bit more I don't think I'm a Pharisee just let me just let me just let me just we have Tendencies to do the exact same that we honestly I think sometimes worse but I is just a little bit more clever but um because it's still a pleasure Chase for us B that's chasing money for pleasure and chasing God for pleasure my opinion you see using God as a me to an end but someone would say there's a difference um but like what I was getting from that particular verse was um maybe maybe equivalence is not the word but to what you said it's it's a this problem you you you maybe you cuz if someone murders someone humanly speaking and someone is angry even if it's at someone even if you to heard words at someone and say you're a fool I still I don't see that as equival like I still see think mother is wrong I won't say you gu of the same sin again but that's tday that's my my human nature speaking so when I go to that verse it checks my heart like bro I'm not saying don't hunger at of righteousness but once you start to think because I did not do X I am y there's a problem the the the the the challenge right is this and I think this is why you would say we we're modern day Pharisees is that inadvertently right we pass right and we pass to the point where we miss the point right the point is this there's a nature inherent to every human being born of a man's seed right it is the Bible calls it the nature of sin it manifests itself through anger through covetousness through murder through pedophilia through homosexuality through adultery and through all of those things right Paul um sorry Christ right wanted the Pharisees to understand that the problem is the nature of mankind the Pharisees felt right that because they had the laws they could obey their way out of sin but they could not obey their way out of their nature right and what they didn't realize is that what was what is offensive to God the nature is the nature and not the ACT not no no the ACT is is offensive yeah but the nature produces the Act Right the nature you know when God says I'm not a man that looks only on the outward when God looks at us he doesn't say oh this is your outward this is your inner man okay your inner man is good your outer man is bad so therefore I will give you 50% yeah both of them are they open before him and if there's a spot in your inner man right there's a spot all over you the Bible says a little Le leens the whole lamp right the nature of sin is at the root of the problem and that is why Jesus Christ was trying to say to the Pharisees that guys guys you guys have so simplified this thing that you're are going to simplify yourselves to hell right and that's why he now said to tell them right using again things that nobody in their right senses would say it is a sin right right to say to them that you don't understand is not just about the 613 laws right the Bible says all of our righteousness is as a filthy R before the Lord what we don't understand is that when you come to God which the Pharisees were doing with their works of the law right you know we always say it's not possible to obey all the laws of God that's a lie in in uh Jesus Christ talking to that Rich Young Ruler yeah he did all the things he said I've been doing it since I was a child I don't think it's possible to be the guy said and Jus wait wait and Jesus argue with him yeah but but Pro that he did not no no no he did he did because he let me tell what he Prov he proved his nature he proved that his nature there's nowhere in the Lord that says sell everything you have and give it to the poor but but there is in the word that says do not make um uh an idol yes right and and Idols are not just scur you think you think that was no it was not that was attached I I think it was it was clear he was attached to his wealth no he made his a God no no no no the Bible said the Bible said Jesus listen the Jus said to him go say what must I do to inherit Jesus Christ said go and do everything in the law the guy said I have done all yes so he said and the guy said and Jesus Christ said you have done well now go and sell everything you have and give it to the poor right the Lord did not say h that you esteem money highly what the Lord said hear me what the Lord said yeah you shall have no other gods yes besides yes right in his confidence and Trust in money right in his heart he had elevated it right but that is a reality and a truth that even he didn't know yes so he did not obey La be ah what are you talking about the law is written because made other gods the law is is written yes yes what does it mean to make another God your God he proved it by El what does it mean no forget about what Jesus said if Jesus hadn't said that what would you have said to somebody who comes to you and says I don't want this anything to be what people understood about Gods right what people understood about Idols right was things that you created put in front of you and you offered OB obedience to right right so as far as that guy was concerned his Affinity affection dependence on money right was not contrary to the law Jesus Christ was trying to point out to him yeah that it was but those your idol could also be it's not just image sorry it's not just um mat the Bible the Bible your also no no it say you shall have no other gods besides me right what is the understanding of gods in that in their context not we have clarity now in their context and do you know why we have Clarity you we have Clarity like because we're not if honest with ourselves we know that we've because we're too clever we would say we're not too clever now we have the Bible now we have the Bible now we have now we have the Bible we have the the the compilation of that man's story right and we can reflect yes we can reflect and you can separate things that he never had the luxury of separating right if if if he knew if Jesus Christ thought he knew that he had made an idol out of money Jesus Christ would have said so he asked asked him a question right and the role and the point of the question was to show him what he did not know right yeah but Jesus Christ knew your man out of out of world yes now he's God now I'm not I'm not judging the man yes this I guess this is just where I scrutinized myself I'm just saying like as human beings in this modern day and age thank God that we have the blessing what you said what you said was that he didn't obey all the laws yeah he obeyed the laws the law in his own context he did he obeyed the laws I feel like were creating we're not creating anything today Jesus Christ said you have done well yeah yeah you done well but why would why would somebody say I've obeyed all the laws Jesus is think Point you're right I don't thinking the guy is a liar then you well I don't think so I think whenever with at least the way with The Parables and way Christ spoke that wasn't the parable I I know but when he spoke or even when he said like you know when he said like my body is a temple and people Everyone they took it too literally I felt this is just me that he was trying to show the man oh no I forget this sorry it was trying to show tund that you might think you have obeyed all you might think you are worshiping God you might think you've done all this in my name but look I don't know you because it's your nature it's your heart that's the problem that's my interpretation now you might say t that's don't him to the word I can I can I can no no no don't don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that don't do that that because I feel like what I'm saying is straightforward what you're saying no we're having you are broadening the conversation beyond the scope we're having a very narrow conversation scope yes you yes the conversation was about um homosexuality no no no the conv that thing was about did the man obey the laws he obeyed the laws and Jesus Christ was trying to say to him because the laws speak to your acts it doesn't speak to your heart right and it doesn't speak to your nature yeah right Paul said the role of the law was to show us right yeah when we fail in our our acts right yeah that we need God we need Christ that is where being poor in spirit comes from it makes sense right that guy had obeyed all the laws and Jesus Christ said go and sell everything you had and then the Revelation that this is more than just obeying the laws it's about the state of your heart and the state of your heart is uncontrollable right you can't control your heart that is the that is the the issue of it right and when we look at this thing with um with homosexuals and all of that stuff right I believe sincerely that homosexuality is contrary to the word of God there's no doubt in my mind about it it is contrary to the word of God but there are a lot of things that are contrary to the word of God not just that that we have we don't accept I'm not going to I'm not going to put it on anybody and say that well we've said it's okay it's okay to lie no no I don't think any Christian of any uh denomination or or standing would would would would would say clear disagrees no let me quickly I don't think any Christian of any legal standing of any standing of any of any kind of standing would get stand up and say it's okay to lie or it's okay to steal or it's okay to fornicate or it's okay to commit a is it possible that it's beyond what they say hear what I'm saying what I'm saying say wait wait this what I'm saying let let me let me finish they don't they they won't come out and say their action shows that they okay but what no no no that's you're judging folks I don't know what is in anybody's house I don't what anybody I feel like by you fruits by my fruits you know me if I tell you guys that I know you I don't know your heart there two different things yeah see I can know that you have been dishonest after the fact by your fruits but I cannot stand up and say you have a dishonest heart so if I told you that you and I said man guys I didn't really want to come I don't I didn't want to come I don't want to come to um podcast shooting M and I came mhm and you guys said I know you said you didn't want to come but I KN I I know you fact that you came here means that you actually wanted to would you guys say I don't know your it's I don't know your heart I just do your actions you know that my heart actually wanted to be here that's why I'm here really regardless of my words why else would I be here how how do how that's the thing right this keep this simp let's keep it simple you are you are making you are making a fundamental mistake let me tell you you are making you are making a let me tell what you're doing let me tell what you're doing let me tell you what we do let me tell you what we do and and I mentioned this in the sumon yesterday the best we can do is make an educated guess we can infer uh infer right from your actions H what your intention may have been right but we cannot with a 100% degree of certainty say that this is your thought Fair my point is if you guys are here M how couldn't somebody have put a gun to your couldn't somebody have put a gun to your head couldn't you be feeling obliged to be here couldn't guilty conscious be bothering you yes but PF and this is where forgive me forgive me and maybe somebody out there might be wonder I'm coming from no I doubt it well maybe and that's possible if someone put a gun to my head for me to come here that means that the fear of dying was much greater MH e and i deci I wanted to live and I came here there are people that you put the gun to their head and they say look I don't care guys I want to make this I want to make this simple cre I'm really concerned about you after this I'll tell you why I'll tell you why I'll tell you why I'll tell you why can I say why I say I'm concerned can say why I say I'm concerned let me why I I'm put it out there actually you're not the only person concern let me tell let me tell why I'm concerned I'm concerned because I feel like we have a tendency right to oversimplify our own process let me explain what I let me quickly finish I know our time is up the fact that I do something right yeah the fact that I have created a permission structure in my mind to do it right the fact that I have gone through the gymnastics of convincing myself to do it right does not mean I want to do it let me just quickly finish everybody around me today the only thing they can read H yeah is that I did it yeah if I did it because of a guilty conscience nobody will ever know if I did it because of a sense of obligation yeah yeah on one hand you can say I wanted to do it right but on the other hand did I really want to do it yes Pastor Femi but you're yes because you did it so you agree that we don't know no no no no no no guys because you did it I'm saying you want to do it yes now now there might be there like you might have been 40% 50% not wantan to 60% 5159 but what I'm trying to do and I actually was pick backing off of PFC point to be honest that people don't do what they don't do yes now does that mean that it is not a complicated like decision making process do that mean we're not influenced absolutely not but human beings do not do what they don't really want to do is what I'm saying I disagree with you but that's fair that's a beauty of like not not just that I disagree with you I I think that I think that you you I think that your understanding of human beings right it's more of myself but your understanding of so that's the thing though there's so many things you do mhm that you think that because I did it I must have wanted to do it if I don't want to do it then I should be ready to die rather than do it Paul even said the things that I do that I don't want to do no no no no thank you he said that no said I know what he said the I don't want to do I do and the things I don't want thank you sister you clearly be paying attention in Bible in Bible School case closed next episode we'll we'll we'll we'll Circle back to this but we want to thank you all for joining us today and pleas if anybody has any Bibles they want to send to brother tund to help him in his Bible study any links you know some some websites that might help him you know Esther do you know any that you can send to him we do have some um Bibles that we don't we don't rock with the uh translation but which translation do you have problem with again this that's a topic for a different day different day no no no no I'm two why does esa why does bring this the last because she knows that she wants to she's she's foreshadowing the next for a different day okay still have like three or four stories but we'll catch back up to the to the lady that is that may be dealing with this circumstance around the you know conversations can always be had you know you can always have a conversation with your spouse um there is nothing that is impossible for God and that's been my word for the year like there is nothing that is impossible with God so I but the Bible also says that in the day of the Lord's power his people shall be willing sir how does that apply so if the man who is lusting after another man is not willing to to let God's power to him so if you pray pray pray going go to First him if he doesn't I think he's willing that's why he came that's why he outed him not necessarily he might be might not beay that he's willing and we can pray there's nothing we use my that sounds like she married him she should pray for him if she brings to me you want oh wait so you found this this person put this thing on social media the dark dark web W woo but anonymously I'm praying for this person you know there's a Christian Twitter yeah yeah there's always there's always there aisan and there are a lot of things and it's Christian X now by the way not Twitter anymore oh sorry right sorry anyways subscribe like comment and please though there's no condemnation the chus so M it's just consequ we're just we so yes and by the way everything that I said about gay people and not g people and ped please don't don't don't at me yeah thank you peace appreciate yall pray for me unfilter