(0:00)Success is a LIE
It's been wired into your brain that success is defined by how much you have. That is what defines success. When we say somebody is doing well, we don't mean that they are emotionally solid. We mean that they they have money. Yeah. They have nice car, they have a house. Even when your parents no longer control you, no longer say what course you should study. Your OS operating system which they built now controls you. Unfiltered. Hello people. Welcome back to another episode of PF Unfiltered. My name is Esther Griffin aka Emily Onikaba aka Hey, please Sister Esther. Sister Esan, what's the Lord saying today? Ken, you have nothing to say. We are unto the Lord. We are not fair. No, I'm just trying to understand. I don't understand why you why you came all covered up. Listen, this is my prayer and fasting season. I see. It's very clear. Coming straight from the mouth. It's very clear. Okay. Sorry.
(1:18)Why I'm wearing this
No, no. On the real truth, I didn't have anything to wear and my hair wasn't done. It was just a lot happening. I was just like, you know what? It's fine. Like, it doesn't matter. Like, it actually doesn't matter. It actually does. But it's okay. Come as you are. Come as you are. Come as you are. Not scar as you are. Alas, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Who are you? Oh, yeah. I'm your brother. Yeah. Yes, sir. Our father in the Lord. Our brother in the Lord. Sister Esa. Why not? What are we here to talk about today, guys? What are we here to do? Are you paying attention or you're laughing while they cooking me? Distract. I'm just trying to not get cooked. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Welcome. And let's welcome PF. Oh, the PF is here too. God bless you. God bless you. God bless you. Well done. Well done. Yes. Yes. My God bless you. M. But yeah, you know, like have you ever just woke up and you were just like stressed, you know?
(2:30)Waking up stressed
No. No, I've never woken up and I was stressed. Are you sure? I'm stressed now. Ah, what's stressing you? You. Hey, myself. If you're the one that's stressing me. I apologize. I apologize. It was It was intentional. I'm sorry. I'm Okay, I'm going to be I'm going to be No, on a serious note though, I have. There's been many times where I feel like I've woken up and I've been like so so stressed. Um but then I'm reminded like please last everything will sort itself out. That's been like that's I feel like that's like my baseline. If I'm feeling stressed I think like if I die tomorrow none of this really matters. So I just need to face my front and sort myself out. But what do you feel like though? Like but like you said if you were to die but then you haven't accomplished it doesn't matter all things pass away are you sure that's how I look at it I'm just like it is no no pressure from family from this American also culture nothing just chilling you'll be fine sometimes I think we're all in a um not in a matrix but essentially like I feel like we're all in a design created by the creator and I mean I think ultimately it's for his glory so like it is what it is. Okay. I feel stressed sometimes. Yeah. What's stressing you? Yeah. I mean the like the pursuit of what could be right like that's for most people. Yeah.
(4:00)The Diaspora burden
Or just the hey we came here from a foreign country. This is the land of So who's we? most most let me say like uh people of maybe like first generation uh Nigerians and like immigrants right I'm sorry I don't know what you guys are talking about I I don't understand this thing okay maybe this is more related to people my age or in our age group which no our parents came here me you just call me an old man if you came here as an old man now it's okay so Christian you are the parent you are Period. Yeah. Wow. Okay. That's actually very accurate. You are the parent. Yeah. Actually, because your kids are first generation Americans, right? So, you are the parent that travel all across the sea, the Atlantic Ocean or Pacific, which whatever whichever one that you took to get here. And you came here to give your children and your family a better life. No, that's not true. Which is what most of our parents that's all I did. I did not come here to give my kids a better life. I came here to preach the gospel. Okay. And in efforts of preaching the gospel, we spirit not pass. Listen, we were one decision away from me going somewhere else. Okay. And the passport that we have today has given us a lot of lot of privileges. Mhm. I thank God for your life. Ah, but I'm sure your kids too, they thank God for their life cuz them two, they were one decision away from being born somewhere else. My kids weren't born here. Where were they born? Oh, that's true. My kids weren't born in America. Yeah, that's true. The first one was born in Nigeria. The second one was born in England. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. All in pursuit of the gospel by the way. So let's pivot. Yeah. Clearly. So people like us, that's a better framing cuz you're just generalizing anyhow. Because our parents, you know, they just they they suffer. They came here. They came here from their village. You know, fresh off the boat. Then they were just like, "Ah, now that we've suffered for you, why you speaking in that? Are you trying to make fun?" I don't understand. What's going on? What's going on today? PM I'm just trying to communicate with the people. There's an assumption that everybody that's listening, guys, I'm fighting for the viewers. I'm fighting with the audience. Is this assumption that everybody is this just has a thick fresh off the boat African accent? Like that's not accurate. I don't really have an accent though. I'm sorry. I don't have an acc. Okay. Can we have a serious conversation? So, let me just go home cuz it's probably seem like you came here to play. You know, it's been a long way for you. It's been a long week. It's been a long week. Yeah. Uh-uh. Producer. Producer. Oh my god. This is going to This episode is going to be a doozy. Okay, let's have a serious conversation. We're talking about stress. Yes. And what's the source of the stress? Uh, your parents accept expectations, expectations. Expectations that expectations from parents in terms of the diasporan side that we came here a land of opportunities. So you are to amount to a certain level but then also the country we came to this there's also culture in America like you can't ignore it. So it's like we're sandwiched in between this two like the devil and the deep blue sea. Yeah. But I would say the American system helps us to to perform right to to meet up to the expectations of our parents right well I can't speak my parents don't have no expectation. They they like Esa, do what you feel like you want to do. Just do better than we did. And I think I am they did the best that they can. I feel like I'm living up to that. Mhm. But I think for other parents um Yeah. I don't know. I I think so this is um I'm going to speak from scripture. Mhm. Right. Because I hate when we frame things in a way that make it seem like uh the way we're thinking is the way we're supposed to think. Right. There's something flawed with the mentality that we have, right? And this
(8:00)Whose expectations?
is the flaw. Either we're judging ourselves by American standards, right? Uh um a house in the in the BBS. Mhm. With a picket fence, right? Two kids and a golden doodle. Mhm. Right. Mhm. Um one electric car, one SUV. Mhm. Right. escalate taho and such like, right? Yep. Yeah. Or we're judging ourselves by um standards and expectations set by parents. And when I say parents, I don't mean biological parents, but culturally, right? Um either is problematic, right? Because none of those people either the American culture or or the the immigrants you know the the culture of origin created us right what we should be asking ourselves right is what is God's expectation of us yeah and until we start to ask ourselves what is God's expectation of us you're going to find yourself under performance pressure you are doomed to a life of stress if you measure yourself by the expectations of the people around you. Right? The Bible says number one, we do not judge ourselves. We do not compare ourselves with ourselves. That's number one. Number two, the Bible also says a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his material possessions. God does not assess you based on how much you have. Why would you let anybody assess you based on how much you have? Why would you assess yourself based on your material possessions when God has said, you know what, this is not how I assess you, right? And all of us maybe like you pointed out how young you guys are. Mhm. You're going to find out very quickly, right? That one thing is definite in this life. You will die. Yeah. Right. And when you die, it does not make an iota of a difference. Right. what how much money you have. Mhm. Or didn't have, how many houses? Was it in the BBS or was it downtown? Did you grow up in the hood or did you grow up, you know, on the on the right side of the tracks? Yeah. What matters is to what extent did you fulfill the mandate, right? To what extent did you achieve purpose? Mhm. Right. And your position in Christ or not. Yeah. Right. So if you're waking up stressed, is that a factor in your calculation? Is what God says about you, what God thinks about you a factor in your calculation? Because if it is, then why are you waking up stressed? I have a question. At what point do you decipher between what God has said versus what what your parents have said and that it could it be possible that your your God is you God is using your parents to d help to direct your life? Because when your parents said I'm I'm raising you up in the way that you should go, right? or like I'm trying to direct your life because I know what's best for you. I'm your parent. I brought you into the earth and so I'm trying to direct you in the best way forward. Right? I I think one of the examples that I can call out is um for um many Nigerian parents I can say that right or kids that were born here you know they want to do the arts and they want to do things that are creative. They may not want to be, you know, what we say doctors, lawyer, whatever the case may be, right? A lot of them know that they're called to be creatives and to make money being a creative, right? But then your parents are like, "No, you should do this, this, and that." So, at what point do you now discern what is the right direction for your life when your parents are telling you something else? Well, so, so it's a challenge, right? Because train a child in the way that he should go, when that child is old, the child will not depart from it. Mhm. But this is the thing, right? Your parents will raise you and they set you on a certain path. Mhm. Right. At a certain point, you're going to have the opportunity to examine that path. Mhm. Right. And examine whatever it is you believe God is saying to you. And at that point, you have a decision to make, right? Will you pursue the path that your parents have set you on which is based again right using and and this I I pro you know we we talk about Nigeria a lot but Nigeria is not the gamut is not the beginning and the end of everybody's experience right but using that as a as an as a sample as an example right it is usually on a path of material success right how how they define material success so if you were born in the 60s material success did not include creative arts mm M right or or sports or entertainment. Right. There was no um was not in the view Mhm. of most parents. Right. It would require a level of foresight that maybe 01% of the culture had to let you pursue the creative arts to let you pursue sports as a career. Right. Right. You were first encouraged into the, you know, the sciences, the the big five. Yep. Right? But you get to a certain age, you get to the age of agency, right? Where you are now um in charge of your life. You have a decision to make. But the challenge is this, right? That decision is going to be an extremely difficult decision because you already it's been wired into your brain that success is
(13:30)Your inherited OS
defined by how much you have. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That is what defines success. When we say somebody is doing well, we don't mean that they are emotionally solid. We mean that they they have money. Yeah. They have nice car, they have a house. Even when your parents no longer control you. Yeah. Right. No longer say what course you should study. Mhm. Your OS operating system. Mhm. Right. Which they built now controls you. Yeah. But the Bible says do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Right. If you start to renew your mind, then you're like, "Okay, well, this is your problem." Mhm. When you stop pursuing God, money. Mhm. Right. You find out that when you start to live for Christ. Mhm. Right. Then the conversation changes. What happens, right, is the conversation remains the same because we're not living for Christ. We're trying to use Christ to get the things that have been programmed into us. So, we wake up stressed. Yeah. Yeah, because Christ is not a destination anymore. He has become a means to the same end. It's the same end. The destination has not changed. We've just had to get on a different bus. But the buses that we are on is going in the same direction, right? And that direction is a very uncertain place. Right? And will you get there? Will you not get there? If you don't get there, how many people are anxious because they think that if they're not rich, God will be mad at them. Hm. How many people are stressed because they think if they don't get a promotion, God is going to stop talking to them? How many people are stressed because they think if they don't live in a particular house, God is going to not answer their prayers. No. No. God is not the basis of that stress. It's always what will people say? I will disappoint this person. This it's always about people. So who are you living for? Yeah. It's not God, right? It is we're living for the approval of our community, our parents, whatever. And after a while, it's not our parents. After a while, it's not our parents. By the time we leave college is not our parents. Let's be let's not be bashing our parents anyhow, right? Because we blame our parents for everything. No. By the time you leave college, right, and if you live in America, right, you went to school in America. By the time you leave college, you have stopped listening to your parents like that. Mhm. So don't blame them. M now you are comparing yourself with the Joneses. You're living for the Joneses, right? So I don't know what to say to you other than you have a decision to make. Right. I very quickly, very very quickly had to confront the idea that who am I trying to please? Right? And for a long time I couldn't answer that question honestly. Right? because I kept judging myself by the parameters of success created, defined, policed. Mhm. By my community, not my God. I have a question. How does God def Okay. How does God define success? Yes. Let me tell you, beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers. But God's idea of success, Esther, includes a prosperity. Mhm. We'll talk about prosperity in a minute, but emotional prosperity, physical prosperity, relational prosperity, right? If you have and prosperity is success, but success in what in what God has put in your hands, what God has called you to do. Whatsoever you find to do, do it to the best of your ability. So, your parents set you on a path to be a doctor. I have a friend whose mother got him into medical school. Mhm. Success is being a doctor to the best of his ability, right? not being the richest doctor, right? Being a good doctor, right? And sometimes you're going to
(17:30)The Good Doctor
have to decide, are you going to be a good doctor or a rich doctor? One of my the challenges my friend has as a as a physician is when you work in the system in the in the general healthare system, your ability to care for your patients diminish cuz you have to see a lot of patients, right? So, it's like an assembly line. come in, ask them five question, send them out. Right. Right. Yeah. That's not good doctor. Good doctor is you sit down with a patient for 30, 45 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours, but then if you do that, then you don't have you don't meet your quota. That's a long time. Sh. Sometimes it takes a long time to get people to talk, right? Engaging with the patient beyond. Okay. Okay. Okay. Next. Right. And and this is what he says to me that he doesn't like that kind of medicine, right? that it's all about how many patients do you see? Oh yeah. Coming out, coming out next. You line them up in the waiting room like sardines next. Right? And that's how you make money as a physician. The more patients you see, the more money, right? Right. If you're sitting down with a patient and engaging with them and finding out what's going on in their marriage, what's going on with their wife, what's going on with their husband, what about the children, the things that might be causing the symptoms you are seeing. Right. Right. So that's what I'm saying. Right. Yeah. At a certain point, you're a businesswoman, right? You're going to decide, are you going to be uh the business woman God has called you to be or are you going to make money, right? They're not mutually exclusive. You can do both. You can make money doing what God has called you to do. That's right. But some of us are going to be confronted with a choice. Money or God, right? Yeah. A lot of us choose money, that's good. That's heavy. Um, I guess I would ask, you know, like in terms of how would you say like the hustle life kind of destroys your like destroys your faith like this hustle mentality? How would you say that over time if you felt like you're um you're in a good place, you began to renew your mind? How would you say that hustle begins to deteriorate deteriorate
(19:35)Hustle vs Faith
your faith? It's inevitable, right? Because hustle implies that you are the architect of your own success. Yep. Right. And the harder you work, the more successful you are. Yeah. Right. I preached a sermon recently and I was talking about how they keep us in darkness by distorting the truth. Right. The devil distorts the truth. Right. Yes. You work, right? Um but God determines the outcome. Yeah. We sow seed, but it is God that brings increase, right? When you think you are the source of increase, you will not rest. You can't rest. When you think it is dependent on you, you cannot rest because you keep looking at the effort you've put in and when you see a sufficiency, you keep going. But when you understand that you know what my job is to sow, right? And God will bring the increase. Right? After you have sewn, you will sleep. Right? But when you sew and you now sit over your seed watching it as if there's anything you can do, right? Right. Ultimately, right, the hustle culture, right, does not have God in it. M once you get into it, God goes out of it. Because the whole point of the hustle culture is you are it's about you. It's about your effort. It's about your energy. But the Bible says the race is not to the swift. The hustle culture says no, the race is to the swift. Mhm. And the person that works really, really hard. Yes. We call it a rat race. Because a rat race is not it's not one rat running by himself. It's a bunch of rats and they're looking at each other. Yeah. Right. Mhm. Looking at and once you get into that rat raceh Yeah. you're not looking at God, you're looking at your fellow rats. So the hustle culture is is is is um is is is is the opposite of faith. Mhm. Right. If you mean do you work hard? Mhm. Yes. You work hard, but you work hard in faith. In faith. Yeah. Right. You know how I know that you're working hard in faith. You sleep when you're supposed to sleep. That's good. You sleep if you're not sleeping because you are walking. Mhm. No, it's not. It's not faith. It's not faith. It can't be now. Yeah. If you're trusting God, why you not sleeping? He giveth his beloved sleep. If you're not sleeping, it's because you are looking at your own strength and you're thinking, "Okay, what else can I do? What else can I do? What else can I do?" It's true. Cuz people say things like, "Grind now, sleep, rest later," type of
(22:00)The Rat Race
thing. Grind now, die later. Die now. Thank you. That's it. That's all. See, see, this is the thing, right? All of these things I believe are demonic um vehicles of manipulation, right? Keep your nose pressed to the grindstoneone, right? Like Pharaoh said, Yeah. make life hard so they will not have time to worship them, to talk about God. Yeah. Right. When you are grinding and hustling like that Yeah. after a while your eyes are so locked in on yourself. How many hours you put in, how many leads you followed, how many calls you've made, how many did how many how many how many how many the race is not to the swift. Mhm. Right. So why are you okay? How fast am I going? Your speed is not going to determine whether you win. Right. If you believe that your victory is determined by God, there are certain things you will not do to get that victory. Yeah. Yeah. You won't bring your body to the point of breakdown to get a victory that you are trusting God for. Mhm. Mhm. When you start to get to the point of burnout, you're burning out, it's because you have stopped believing that God is the one that is going to determine the outcome. Mhm. What about work burnout? How do you differentiate the difference? Yeah. What what what work burnout for like what do you say to the person that for example I use corporate? They find themselves in this corporate role and then there are this set expectations that by essence of you being in that field with that company you expect it like it's is that what you signed up for? Is that what they said when you signed up? Let's say yes. Okay. And if you agree to it then then no some they don't people don't be signing it. I feel like and initially you don't you don't sign up for that right the role starts to change because different projects come up the company has a new direction that they want to that they want to take things come up over time it starts to that's that's a crossroad when the first time it changes you're at a crossroads you're you're going to have to say you know what when I when I joined this company I agreed to work 40 hours and you said you would pay me now you're asking me to work 60 hours right in order for me to work 60 hours. That's 20 hours you're going to take for my kids. 20 hours you're going to take for my marriage. 20 hours you're going to take for my relationship with my God. Yeah. People are not but especially now given the economy. People are not confident enough to say now we're talking. Where's our confidence
(24:45)Corporate is heartless
and this is the and I love I love corporate America. They will fire your ass in 5 seconds. Doesn't matter. Listen, if you drop dead, like if you drop dead on your desk, PF, please say it. Um, ambulance will come carry your body and they will hand your computer over to the next person. And guess what? On the day of your funeral, they won't even give people day off. Day off. They going have to use one and they will come and during break they will they will buy one sheetcake. What do you mean? They won't come from flowers. What do you say flowers? Well, just um they bring they buy one sheet cake from Walmart for $20 and they will drink um lemonade on your on your memory. And if you spend too long with that cake and you miss your quota, they fire you. So, so that's the thing, right? Right. So, so, so they they tell you things like loyalty, be a team player, right? At some point, you're going to have to decide who is your source. Who is your source? That one is hard. It's hard. That's faith. Who is your source? But people are making that decision. And guess what? If you decide that, okay, God is your source. God is your source, right? And they fire you, right? Because you said God is your source. Right? God will provide for you if you really believe he's your source. Yes. Now, God may not provide enough for you to maintain the car note on your uh on your G Wagon. He may not. He may not because when you bought the Gwagon, you and him didn't discuss, right? But he'll provide enough Mhm. for you to have transportation, right? Which means that you might have to step down from that Gwagon. Mhm. The Gwagon is an old is is a is a is a is a is a is a is a what do you call it? is a is a testimony to your ego. Yeah. Yes. God is not necessarily committed to your to to you know to propping up your ego. Yeah. Right. So sometimes people say, "Oh, I'm going to stand up. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to trust God." But the expectation is that in trusting God, God is going to back back up their greed, their pride, their insecurities, right? all those things that we did not for the right reasons but for the wrong reasons. And God is merciful and gracious and I can't tell what exactly he will do or not do. Right. Right. God might prop up your Gwagon but then again he may not. Doesn't mean he's not God. Right. You get my point. Yeah. But really we make our decisions based on who we trust. Mhm. If you trust God your decisions will be different. In many cases it will be different. M that's what I believe. So I'm I'm hearing two things right. One faith being the basis of why maybe we don't like obviously because we don't trust God so we also but then from what we just said what you just said now it also sounds like contentment is playing
(27:50)The key is Contentment
a role in why we also it's like if we are content then we would be fine with whatever if we have faith we will be content. Contentment comes from faith right? Contentment comes from belief. Believing that I am where God will have me. Mhm. Right. I have what God wants for me. Right. Yeah. I believe this. This is what I believe my own life. Yeah. I am content with whatever God has promised me. Right. I reach for his promises. I won't settle for anything less than God's promises. Yeah. You get and God has not promised me that I'll be the richest man in the world. So, I'm not going to work and kill myself trying to be the richest man in the world, right? I'm going to I'm a pastor, right? And when I started pastoring because I I to some degree I thought a lot of it was based on me, right? I I used to do too much, right? I was getting myself involved in things that were not profitable. I
(29:00)My ugly painting lesson
remember one time, let me give you an example, one woman who was our neighbor um was selling paintings, ugly painting. PMY ugly paintings. If she's watching you, you know, you know that those paintings were ugly and I didn't have any money. M but I thought if I bought those paintings, she will come to church cuz she brought the paintings to me. Guess what? And she kind of, you know, wow, she collected your money. But she kind of implied, so I bought some of these ugly paintings I couldn't even put on my wall with credit card. Oh no. PFY. Did the woman come to church? Did God bring her to church? up to I don't know if she's still alive or there. She never came to the church. I never saw her after that day. But I thought that it was me. It's her coming to church was dependent on me spending money that God did not give me. We're spending money, time, energy that God did not give us. You get what I'm saying? So now now if you say, "Ah, PF, I'm thinking of coming to your church. You want to buy my painting? I don't want to buy." Mm- Ah, but I may not come. Okay. Yeah. But if I go to hell, you'll be fine there. Seriously. Yeah. And and that is one example in my own line. Mhm. Where I constantly have to decide that you know what, I'm going to do the right thing even if this outcome right you know. So in the past I will tolerate people doing things that were inappropriate or wrong because I thought it was dependent on me. M so I won't say what I should say sometimes cuz I thought it was dependent on me being nice right I won't speak my mind right and then I would suffer internally I would bottle things up because I thought oh if I told you how stupid you are right it would impact the gospel in a negative way right even if God wanted me to tell you how stupid you were now I'll tell you you're stupid even though that God didn't tell me I'll tell you because guess what Jesus Christ died for you not Yeah, it's his responsibility. Do you guys get the point I'm trying to make? So, we have to come to a place where we're where where our faith is in God. Yeah. Right. So, if you're waking up stressed, you're waking up your heart is beating. Some people know themselves. I just looked in the corner at somebody who who won't sleep. Wow. We have our uh one of our producers in the back, guys. Yeah, you sleep. Oh god. Maybe is stressing me. We know. Do you want me to say what's stressing you? What's stressing me? He said maybe the church is stressing him. Guys, if the church is stressing you, if the church is stressing you, then you need to realize that the church was not built on your back. Since I will build my church, I will build my church. Let him build his church. If it has entered stress, but I know it's not the church stressing you. So, don't lie on the church. Mhm. Church people, don't tell lies. Don't tell lies on churches. Church people, church. Don't Don't tell lies on the church. I'm sorry. I I I I I delved into my ethnic tongue. But I think you guys get the point I'm trying to, you know. Um, so yeah, it's all all faith. If you're waking up and you're sweating, Yeah. who are you trusting? Gotcha. So how do we tie one living in faith direct and you know how we pursue like life and then also honoring the just to say simply the sacrifices for example that our parents made to put us in like this position for example someone like me like them coming to this country taking that risk right how do I balance or people with similar experience how do they balance the two in terms of honoring and obeying our parents, but then obviously doing what scripture says, right? Mhm. So, so we've talked about this before. God is to be obeyed. Mhm. Parents are to be honored. Mhm. That's it. At a certain point, if there's a divergence Mhm. Right. in the pursuit of God, right? Between your pursuing God is going to take you left, trying to live up to your parents expectation is going to take you right. Mhm. It's a it's a no-brainer, right? Right. And we all know this, right? I feel like as a parent, I made the best choices that I could for my children, right? I made all these sacrifices for them. But do you know what? Some of the sacrifices I made for them, I didn't really make for them. I made for myself, for my own reputation. My reputation as a good father. My Can you talk about that? Yeah. I You do stuff for people cuz we say we doing it for our kids, but really sometimes you're doing it so that they will not say that you didn't try for them, that you didn't try for your children. You know what I'm saying? There's that performative goodness. right? That sometimes can hide the truth from us. Right. So yeah, two things can be true. I did it for the kids, but I also did it
(34:30)The ZIP code ego
for my reputation. Right. But would you say in that cir in that circumstance or in those instances where you may have done those things that they were worthwhile? It could have been worthwhile, but it could also have been detrimental. Let me give you a classic example. All of us, if you live in in in America, you understand that the best schools are in certain areas and people go to school where they live. So in order for your kids to go to the best schools, you have to live in certain areas. Usually the best areas. Mhm. So you say, "Oh, I'm moving into this area for the children." Mhm. Right. But living in that house is not is not hurting you. Right. Right. This is not is not hurting you. You're living, you know, in a mansion, right? And all of those things. I'm doing it for the children. I'm doing it for children. But the speed with which you announce where you live to people. Yeah. We have to question, are you really doing it for the kids or are you doing it for the zip code? Right. So where do you live? Oh, I live in I live in Prosper. Yeah. If it was for the kids tomorrow now, let them say that the best school district is in Oakliff. How many of us want to live there? I mean, ain't nothing wrong with Oakliff though, but you know, or the hood. Nothing wrong with Oakliff by the way. But you get what I'm trying to say, right? A lot of these things, yes, we're doing it for the kids. We're doing it for the good school districts. Absolutely. But we're also doing it for ourselves. Mhm. We're also doing it for our own reputation as I want to be seen as a good father. Right. So at a certain point, right, let them not say, let them not say what is God saying. Let everybody minister according to the grace that God has given them. Yeah. Their strength and ability that God has given you. When you are doing more than that, h we have to question. So I have some scriptures here that I think um you can confirm with us are helpful or not helpful. So uh Matthew 6:25-34 it says seek first the kingdom um of God and all his righteousness and everything else will be added on. What do you say about that in terms of you know hustle versus faith and seek first the kingdom and and his righteousness. As you seek Christ, seek to know him. seek to um trust him. Seek to abide in him. Everything else will be added to you. It's self-explanatory, right? The challenge is we seek everything and ask Christ to help us get it. Christ is a means to an end. Period. And the end is usually what the community has said. Yeah. Yeah. always more often than not is what the community and I say community very broadly. Yeah. Right. We're looking for work. Yeah. Right. Christ come and help me get a job. Right. What happened to God? Should I be working at all? Ah, if you don't work, you don't eat. Ah, there's some things you can do. You eat, but you cannot drive a Gwagon. But even the food too might be a little sketchy. McDonald's donuts is not bad. Nothing. God says I will. God says I will I will provide according all your need. Yeah. You don't need ice cream and cake. Yeah, that's valid. Okay. All right. Okay. Okay. Then the next one is Philippians 4 11-13. Um this one says um I am not saying this because I am in need. I am in need for I have learned to be content. Um whatever the circumstance I know I know what is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every and in any and every circumstance. um wherever well uh whether wellfed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want um I can do I can do all this through him who gives me strength. What's the question? Thoughts? I can do all things who see he Paul says I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Strength to abase and strength to abound. We use that scripture to justify. I can I can lift 500 kilos in the gym. 500 Yes. pounds in the gym because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. We take scripture out of context. Mhm. And that scripture is to say that you know what I can go through tough times, right? Through Christ who gives me strength. Yeah. I can face challenges through Christ who gives me strength. And I can also face success through Christ who gives me strength. Right. That is a man telling you that I am dependent on Christ for everything. M yeah. All right. Yeah. I mean, well, to kind of wrap us up here, I would say, you know, you don't have to
(39:40)Stop proving yourself
prove anything to anybody. No, you don't, man. You actually don't. You actually really don't. It's an illusion that you have bought into. And and and as you get older, and I say this cuz you guys, you know, made a point of telling me how young you were. Okay. Then we're trying to get to your point. I'll tell you as you get older you start to realize that a lot of the people who you lived for Mhm. at this stage of your life you may not see them again in the next stage of your life that's a lot of people whose approval determined your choices lifealtering choices those are people that you may never see again after you make the choice. Wow. So be careful. Be very careful. You You really don't You only need God's approval. Yeah. For the things that you do. That's good. People will talk. They will complain. They will look at you sideways. Mhm. But ultimately day to day they will stand with you in front of that God. Yeah. Giving an account of their choices. And some will hear, "Well, don't go that faithful servant." And some will hear, "Depart from me, you workers of iniquity. You are going to be the one to choose which one you want to hear." That's good. Well, what would you say our call to action is, Ken? Focus on Christ. Yeah. Just just focus on him. Trust him. Trust him. Trust him. And and and and audit your choices, the way you're feeling, the thoughts in your head, right? What does it say about who your faith is in? Examine yourself because I promise you, you're being examined. Yeah. Examine yourself. When you are ftting and you can't sleep and you are worried about this bill or that action, ask yourself really this thing that I'm thinking. Yeah. Is it because I trust God? Or is it that I don't trust God? So that you can align yourself accordingly. Mhm. Yeah. And restore proper balance in your life. To your life. That's good. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you guys for listening. Thank you. Subscribe, guys. A lot of you guys that are watching are not subscribed. Please subscribe, like, follow, comment. Um, and we'll see you guys next time. Peace. Peace. Bye. Unfiltered.