(0:00)Every mess has a message
Every mess is many times giving you a message and every obstacle is many times providing a ladder. Right? The pit was literally a stepping stone for Joseph. Prison was preparation. And when you start to understand that about God, right? Think about if Joseph knew that this pit I am in is the precursor, necessary precursor, Mhm. necessary destination or necessary pit stop to get to my destination, he would not have resented it. M he would have rejoiced like man I'm on my way unfiltered. [music] Welcome back everyone. We are PF unfiltered. I'm Roslin and Noha with my host or co-host Kenneth. Kenneth Rooney. Welcome Kenneth and also the PF our favorite PF unfiltered. Where are you looking? No favorites like like how many how many PFs do you know like how many PF in this one church you know there's another pastor Feb there is actually he does not go by PF don't worry about [laughter] that he doesn't go by PF I'm the only PF so I cannot be the favorite if I'm the only one okay favorite implies choice multiple you can so can you rephrase it by default wow [laughter] that's very that's very comforting very encouraging I am I am so blessed to be the only one [laughter] hence the favorite. Thank you. My name is Fe Mai. Welcome. And I'm the lead pastor at New Covenant House. Also the PF in PF aka [laughter] Wait. I don't even know. I don't even know what I'm doing, man. [clears throat]
(1:38)Thanksgiving: A chore or a blessing?
We're just vibing here. So today's topic is cuz you know Thanksgiving is this week. So my favorite holiday of the year. Really? Yeah. I love Thanksgiving. You seem you seem very excited. I'm I'm delirious with joy. Can't you tell? Is it the turkey? What? I I you know, Thanksgiving, right, is one of those holidays that I didn't grow up celebrating I didn't grow up sorry celebrating Thanksgiving. And so it's it's kind of odd, you know, to be to have a holiday dedicated to Thanksgiving, but all we do is eat turkey. How is eating turkey
(2:16)Why turkey is actually dry
Thanksgiving? And turkey is hella dry. Dry, bro. dry. The amount of work you have to do to get flavor into turkey, you know, I used to do I used to do this turkey that was just crazy. I would brine it now. Deep fry it. And still, and I always did um um not organic turkey, wild turkey. Have you ever had wild turkey? No. If you see a wild turkey, right, without the feathers, you would not know it was a turkey. You know these turkeys that you buy at the store? Yeah. Right. They are nothing like wild turkeys. M they are huge. These ties are huge. They're like they're big. Everything big ties are leaner. And maybe that's why they get a little dry quickly. But anyway, I'm not a fan. But but you do love Thanksgiving though. I love Thanksgiving. The holiday Thanksgiving is uh is a chore cuz there's this, you know, my kids grow up here so they have all these expectations, you know, of Thanksgiving. you know, they want to do uh turkey and cranberry and pecan pie and I don't like any of
(3:21)Jollof Rice vs Traditional Thanksgiving
those things. So, we just do jolaf rice and fry the turkey. That's exactly what I do as well. And then these days, I don't even bother talking. I just go and buy jerk chicken from even better. So, jolof rice and jerk chicken. So, it's even better. I'm telling you. And we don't do all that cranberry. I tried that cranberry thing one time. I was like, what? What is this? It's not really nice. Stop it. That's dangerous. Huh? That's dangerous. Wow. Then you put so bread and stuff inside an animal. Yeah. Cook it, right? Then you cook it and it comes out soggy mess. Yeah. I never really like stuffing to be very honest. I never had a good stuffing it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, [laughter] they're not It's not good. [laughter] I I think I think of stuffing as the as just ecoli waiting to happen to somebody. Wow. True. Well, honestly, Thanksgiving should be last year. Mhm. Was really nice. My wife and I, the kids, uh my do my my first daughter, they did Thanksgiving with her husband's family. Okay. Last year. So, it was just me, [clears throat] my wife, and the second daughter. Mhm. Right. And then my younger brother, his family was in Nigeria or Jamaica. So, it was just four of us. M and you know what we did for
(4:43)The ultimate hack for a stress-free holiday
Thanksgiving? You do. My god, it was fantastic. We had lunch at a restaurant. We just got a reservation. You actually found one that was open and it was good food. And then in the evening, we went to watch a movie. Oh my god. Best Thanksgiving ever. Nobody cooked Jack. [laughter] Nobody slaved away. We don't have a ton of leftovers. It was just It was just perfect. So this we're going to do the same. I haven't told them yet. [laughter] Listen, we're about to they're about to find out soon. Yeah, we're doing the same thing. We're going to go out. I have to find a good restaurant this time. But also with Thanksgiving, it's also a time to like reflect about what you've been thankful for for the past year. Is that what really happens though? Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I know that usually happens cuz that's what people think. You guys grew up here. You guys grow up here. That's what you guys do. We we like we like you said we end up like slaving away on the day before prepping and then the day of what are you prepping for just one meal just one meal right and then you sit down on the table and what you eat it I mean y'all don't cater you would you know if you have money now so oh my mom my mom always thought like if you know pay for convenience she don't be stressing herself you have to have money [laughter] to pay for convenience if you don't have money you cook it stuff. Well, you know, I'm sure I'm sure it was nice growing up a rich kid. So, yeah, people would bring dishes. People can bring dishes. Who's which people? I I come from My dad has a lot of siblings. Okay. So, there's like eight of them. There's big cousins. So, I'm like when people come to my house, they're like, "You have a big family." I'm like, "Really?" And because I'm so used to it. So, everyone will come. Okay. That's why you guys cater. Yeah. It's huge. It's it's my small four of us. And then if we have guests, you know, I think the hassle is so much for just one meal. Mhm. And then you can't even eat that much and if you eat too much then you just pass out. But that's what they say, Thanksgiving leftovers. [laughter] No man, what I do like about Thanksgiving though is the idea that as a country we turn our face to God. Yes. In in principle, in reality, we turn our face to the giblets and the football. But we turn and football, right? we turn our face to God and then we give thanks for all the blessings with which he has blessed us that I think is always a great thing you know if we actually do it you know
(7:06)Reflecting on God's kindness in the struggle
but um yeah for me thanksgiving is when I can get away from the trouble of the cooking and everything right it's an opportunity just focus on all the blessings with which God has blessed me and I'll tell you guys if you don't know this I am a completely thoroughly overwhelmingly blessed individual um in every area of my life I can see the hand of God you know and I'm grateful for it. And and there have been times when, you know, things have been tough. Mhm. Yeah. You know, and even in the toughness, you can still see God's kindness, right? And God's mercy, you know, and how sometimes and I I I mean, I can't speak for everybody. Some people are going through things that, you know, they say there's always a silver lining in every cloud. Mhm. You there's some clouds, man. You can't see the silver lining, you know. But I am fortunate in that the clouds that I've experienced have always had some kind of silver lining, you know, and I realize something. If you if you understand how much God loves you, right, if you know how much God loves you, you will realize that every cloud has a purpose. Mhm. Right. Even the clouds that were not created with purpose. God always finds a purpose through them. Working everything up together. Yes. Everything works together for good and even the things that were meant for evil. Mhm. He turns it around for your good. Yeah.
(8:37)Kenneth's wild year: From solo to thriving
What about you, Ken? What are some things you're probably grateful for throughout this past, man? Yeah. Like this year, honestly, has been it's been a ride. Like it didn't feel like that at the start, but it felt like things just picked up to a stand. Yes, it picked up. It really did pick up, right? It picked up, right? What's her name? [laughter] Sosa. Okay. Okay. Shout out to Sosa. It really picked up. [laughter] Sosa is the pickup. I'm screaming. She's one of the the main pickup. Wow. God is good. God is good. God has good. No, seriously. I'm telling you. I know. [laughter] I know. I want I want you to be clear that I know. I know. I know. I know. So, you have a lot to be thankful for. A lot. Because this time last year, I single pringle. Solo. Solo lonesome. Whatever they call it. Wow. Okay. [laughter] But now God has blessed you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else are you thankful for?
(9:45)The importance of finding your tribe
Thankful for community. And and I know that one sounds very cliche, but like at a certain time of my life, I could I didn't have friends. Like I I'll be honest. Like you, you know? Well, actually, when you wear your heart like this, Wow. Like I feel like when you wear your hat like this, you're kind of asking [laughter] one zero. Wow. Yeah. Am I Am I the only person who haven't seen your hat? Um [laughter] I don't I have no problem with your hat. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I'm just I'm just [clears throat] Anyway, it's okay. But yeah, but yeah, just there was just a season where I was moving around for work, so I really couldn't settle down to like actually get into community until I moved to Dallas, right? So, I'm grateful for community, but ultimately for NH, if I'm being honest, that that is where I found most of my You're welcome. [laughter] No, I mean we took him in. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. They took me They did take me in. That's facts. No, but I agree with you. I feel like the community here in Dallas, when I was coming from Houston to Dallas, I feel like with Dallas, you kind of have to integrate yourself into the communities here. And so it was kind of hard. And NCH like helped me like do that. Get out my Houston.
(11:03)Why Houston is a 'jungle'
Was it like in Houston? Well, I'm probably biased because I grew up in Houston. So I the African community there, they all grew up from like kids and they're always mingling with each other. So we kind of grew up together to like adulthood. So it was easy to be friends with them. [clears throat] Yeah. Here coming to Dallas because maybe cuz I didn't grow up with the people here still being as a young adult, it was I felt like there was already groups and they kind of like you had to audition to be like, can you be in our group or not? It's kind of like that everywhere. Yeah. But some people say Houston is a jungle. Like I don't I don't agree with that. Oh, by the way, the two of you grew up in Houston. We did. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm I'm getting it now. Wow. [laughter] Yeah. But Houston is wild. Houston is a jungle. I heard that one. I don't think so. Really? Do you think Houston I don't actually Houston is a little ghetto. Recently. Recently. I'm not going to lie. Houston, you've been kind of getting you've been kind of getting out of hand. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Houston has always [laughter] Houston. Everything I feel every time I go to Houston, I feel like if you drive on the turnpike, right? Okay. At night in Houston. Mhm. And you survive. All right. Okay. Okay. All right. You have calls to give thanks. It's not that serious. Wow. It's not that serious. The first time I came to Houston, I drove into Houston at about 1:00 a.m. Right. I was driving from St. Louis. Okay. And that's a long drive. It's about 10 about Yeah. 8 hours. 7. No, no, no. St. Louis. 10 about 14 hours. 10 hours to Dallas, right? Yeah. 10 hours to Dallas and another 4 hours to Houston. Yeah. And I was driving a crap car and I was on this highway in Houston and the way people were driving, you know, defensive at 1:00 a.m. defensive driving. How you defensive driving when you're doing on the road just just Oh my god. I I I thought I started praying in tongues that Lord Jesus if I make it out of this highway cuz you're going just driving. No, they be driving fast and less. No, but Dallas, y'all have like highways that say 75 like in the city. Yes. And everybody's driving 75 or driving or driving 80. Houston, you have highways that say 45. People are driving 90, 95 or 100. And And you know the bad thing, the cars. It's not like you're driving nice cars. Whoa. This blaring some salsa music in the middle of the night. Wow. Salsa. Okay. Anyways, uh [laughter] [gasps] No, no. So, I'm guessing you're not thankful for Houston. I mean, I ain't thankful for Houston. It like that's where I grew up, but in Dallas? I That's where I grew up. My family, my friends there. So, why do you leave Houston for so great? Don't worry about it. Uh work work was here in Dallas. So, she said we shouldn't worry about it. He has there's a story about Oh, I don't know. I left because of worry. I mean, that's a natural reason to be here. To be fair, I also I also left because of work. Okay. Yeah. Speaking of like
(14:15)What actually matters in life
Well, has the Lord healed both of you now from your from Houston? There's nothing to heal from history. [laughter] Have you been Have you Have you been I am grateful for What am I grateful for? I am grateful for my family. Yeah. I'm grateful for NCH. I'm grateful for Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah. My family and NCH by relationships. I think the older you get, the more value you place on relationships. Yes. For sure. Stuff comes and goes, but people, good people, they stay. So, I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for a wonderful team at NCH. Sure. You know, great folks. Speaking of friendships, I'm also grateful for my friends as well. I've been like going through a breakup and my friends have made it so wonderful. Like, I love them. They really made me also realize like I'm such a wonderful person cuz I was beating myself up. And just having, you know, my girlfriends encouraging me, being there for me, calling me, like, I don't feel alone cuz I have them. And I'm really grateful for them. Like, I love y'all. Thank you for being in my life. So, you're thankful even in the mess. Even in the mess, I'm thankful cuz without them, I probably would have been looking sorry and boohoo crying. What's up? Boohoo crying. What's Boohoo crying? [laughter] Buhoo crying is like you the ugly cry. That ugly cry is snot everywhere. You're just lonely in your house looking like a Okay. [laughter] Okay. Yeah. I didn't I didn't mean to visualize. Thank you. You asked. I I thought you were going to say boo cries when you're crying and and and you know you feel so much pain and No, it's ugly. [laughter] So So but now that's good though that even in the midst of of of um of a dark cloud, you can find a silver lining, you know. But I think sometimes you have to be looking for it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure. Otherwise you can be there have the silver lining and still not see it right and I find that when I am able to see that silver lining in quote right then the dark cloud loses its ability to take away light you know what I mean um it's like so I bake a lot these days and I remember there was one day when I I was making bread and making bread by hand is a process it's an intense this physical process. Yeah. You know, and I had made, you know, like 14 loaves or something. Mhm. And when it was time to proof the bread, I realized that I forgot to put the yeast in it. Yeah. And I can't begin to tell you how I felt. Just imagine it. It was It was I was by this time I was tired. Yeah. I was, you know, I was just so frustrated. Mhm. You know, and I had to trash it. Yeah. Right. And that was painful. But I was able to immediately go back into the pantry. Mhm. Bring out more flour and try again, you know, and I just realized that that ability to try again is a blessing. Yeah. Right. And and that's how life is sometimes, right? When things don't go the way that we want. Right. when we're disappointed, when we fail, when we fall short, that ability to get up and try again, right, is a blessing. You know, when I wake up in the mornings, I always thank God for being alive. And the reason why I thank God for being alive is not because I think being alive is the ultimate end of humanity to be pursued at by all means necessary, right? I mean, Paul said that to be with Christ is better than to be here in heaven. The streets are paved with gold in Houston. The streets are paved with, you know. Wow. Wow. Not not gold catch in a Yeah. [laughter] You know. But because every day that I'm here, I have a new opportunity. That's it. Right. To try. Yes. Again, to make things better, to do things better, to be better, you know? And sometimes right we don't understand the value of a second chance or a third chance or a fourth chance or a fifth chance. Honestly I something that as you're just speaking something just reminded me is like there was this time in Bible study we were talking about Jesus doing the five loaves fish and him making that miracle of feeding 5,000. And then somebody asked, "How come we don't see that miracle now?" And one of your answers was, and it was like one of them was like, "I think the reason why because when Jesus sacrificed himself and we were able to have that opportunity to have that relationship, to have a transformative life, eternal life, the miracles now is a transformed life." And I was like, that's so true. Because then when I think about it 5 years ago, 10 years ago, even 2 years ago, I'm like, I am not the same Rosen that I am right now. Yeah. And I'm so grateful for that. [laughter] Yeah. No, but it's true. It's so true. The the transforming power of God, right, is the greatest miracle humanity is going all of us are going to experience. Yeah. That we can look at ourselves and say, "I was once lost and now I'm found." Right. But then we sometimes don't see those things. We're so distracted by the mess that we're in. Right? But the mess honestly if you if you if you walk with God you realize that every mess right is many times giving you a message. Yeah right and every obstacle is many times providing a ladder. Mhm. Right. The pit was literally a stepping stone for Joseph. Right. Prison was preparation. Yep. Right. And when you start to understand that about God, right, think about if Joseph knew, right, that this pit I am in is the precursor, necessary precursor, necessary destination, right? Or necessary pit stop to get to my destination. He would not have resented it. He would have rejoiced like, man, I'm on my way. You know, imagine you get to a chaotic airport, right? It's chaotic, right? But you know you're getting on the plane and you know the plane is taking you to Bali or Bora Bora or one of those places that those Instagram influencers show us, right? Are you going to be like, "Oh my god, this place is a mess. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I wish I was somewhere else." You're going to be like, "Man, can't wait to get to Yeah, this place is a mess and this place stinks and this place is dirty and this place is disorganized. But I'm on my way to somewhere greater and I need this place to get there." Yeah. Right. We're not as resentful of it. But when we see the mess as the final stop, which is not scriptural. Exactly. That's why those guys, the apostles said, "Count it all joy." It's literally the scripture was just like when you fall into a mess because that mess is working for you a far greater weight of glory. Right. So if you can see that greater weight of glory, then you can be thankful for the mess. And I know that one can talk about, oh, I I I messed up, you know, a batch of of bread. And we can talk about a breakup, you know, and in the scheme of things, those things can be painful, but they are not always as painful as some of the things that human beings go through. You know, some people are not experiencing a breakup with a boyfriend. They're talking about a divorce, right? Right. Some people are nursing, you know, the loss of a child, the loss of a loved one, right? Some people have lost their jobs and and all of those things. So some of the messes that we are that people find themselves in. Some people are dealing with a a cancer diagnosis. Right. Right. How can you be thankful in those things? Right. In my worst times, the reason why I am able to give thanks is because I I I know right that nothing separates me from the love of God, right? And if he cannot separate me from the love of God, that means that the love of God is still actively working. And his love, he says, the thoughts that I think towards you are thoughts of good and not of evil. Right? When Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery, God said, Joseph said, "You guys meant this for evil, but God meant it for good." Right? So, I have this confidence now, right? That sometimes when I'm in that place, right? My question is, okay, God, where's the good? Where is the good? And I know a lot of us ask that question, but we have this expectation when we ask that question that we're going to get an immediate answer. Yeah. [laughter] Right. And when we don't get an immediate answer, then we nullify it, negates the whole concept. Yeah. Right. You know, sometimes the good is not visible in the immediate. Sometimes the good you see it in the back. Let me tell you guys a story. when I was coming up um as a as a minister. Mhm. I was supposed to go on a mission trip with some folks to um to Jerusalem and I I didn't get to go and it was very painful to me. Then I was supposed to go to Haiti and I couldn't go and it was very painful to me. And then I was supposed to go pastor a church in Essex and I couldn't go and it was very painful to me. And these things are happening back to back to back. It's not like you know year 1, year four. I'm talking about month one, month two, month three. I was just getting rejected, abandoned, dismissed left, right, and center. But the irony of it or the the the the the what happened in that season, right, was I met my wife. M right and when I look at the time I was like God what good what why are you putting me through this and I didn't get any answers not one I didn't hear the Holy Spirit say my son this is working for you a far greater weight of glory I didn't get jack so it just seemed like I was suffering for nothing but then I look back on my life and I realized that it was in that season that I met AK right and if I had not met AK at that time Mhm. M right where I am today is debatable that I would be here. Right. So I can say yeah all of that pain and it was painful. It was extremely painful for me. Right. All of that pain was necessary. Mhm. To be where I am today. Mhm. Cuz if I had gone to Haiti, right, or or Jerusalem or gone to pastor a church in Essex or London or wherever it was that they were asking me to go at different times, I would not have been with that woman. M, you know, where would I be now? The alignment. Yes. So those are the kind of things that make me realize that no matter what is going on now, right? I have to hold on to what God's word says. And God's word says that God is actively working in all things to make sure good comes out of it for me. Exactly. Things don't work together by themselves. God is the one that takes the different elements, right, of our experience and creates good out of it. And I don't think he's he's doing a tapestry for us to gaze at or or writing a poem for us to listen to. I don't think it's anything so esoteric and of not much use. Mhm. I think what he's doing is something tangibly good for us, right? But we don't see it because the mess is a mess. Mhm. And that's why when they say, "Oh, you know, he will keep him in perfect peace whose eyes are stayed on on the Lord." If we can focus our attention on the Lord, I think that being thankful in the mess is not going to be hard. M I also think like with certain things like for example transitioning into a new season cuz I also had that struggle of I'm like looking at my life and I'm like God I need to be here or like why am I not doing this? And I feel like me personally I feel like this mess that I just happened to me I think it made me shift my focus more onto myself and God is trying to show me like enjoy your present now. Stop trying to force a situation. and stop trying to force this relationship trying to speed fast what I have for you. So right now I'm learning to trust God and trust his best for me because I was trying to choose my best and say God hop on instead of me like hopping on his Yeah. God doesn't do that. I I I I amused when people say that because I'm like and did you think God was going to go along with [laughter] Oh my god. I have a I have an idea. Let's go. No, no, no, no. He he just he he might [snorts and clears throat] I have kids, right? Mhm. And the love that I have for them compels me, right? Not sometimes I want them to like me and that will make me want to do stuff for them. Right. So, you know, I like it when my daughters like me, right? When they happy with [clears throat] me. Yeah. And it makes me want to do stuff for them. But the love that I have compels me to do something else opposite to what they want, right? And what would make me even feel good, right? And will cause them pain. Sometimes the love of God compels him to force that relationship to end. Yeah. Knowing that you're going to cry boo snot. All right. You're going to get snot running down your nose and all this pretty pretty. Yeah. You know, he he's he's that relationship will end. Oh, yeah. And there's nothing you're going to do about it. It's an illusion to think you're going to get God to to hop on a bus. Nah, man. God is not hopping on any buses. We hop on his bus. God ain't hopping for nobody. No. You know, and and one of the things that I found out is this, right? When we are grateful Mhm. for things that sometimes we have not seen, right? It says to God that these guys trust me. Yeah. And it it then ushers us into a new season, right? It doesn't always end the mess because the mess has a purpose. Yeah. Right. You know, Joseph's if Joseph had been grateful would not have ended his prison sentence. It wasn't his gratitude that unlocked prison. It was the timing. Mhm. Right. The Bible says God makes all things beautiful in its time, right? But our gratitude helps us right in that season. You say tolerable. Makes it tolerable. Yeah. And not just tolerable. Gives us peace. Gives us hope. Like gives us hope. Yes. Yeah. That's that's that's that's really cool. So, I feel like thinking about the seasons that he's given us hope in, what would you say you're currently entering into? And and I'm I'm going to put this in terms of like I guess TV, like you know, TV. Yeah. Like like seasons, you know, like the pilot, you know, the first season and then, you know, before you know it, you know, the finale, right? So, what's the finale? I would I would feel obviously by the grace of God, we entering finale. [laughter] It's too long long life and in the years I made things to do ahead. I feel like this would be I want to say I'm still in like season maybe like let's call this season three out of like maybe 10 20 seasons. So, we're still at the start, but I'm at the end of like this specific season about to transition into like the start of a new season. And so, when's the wedding? Cuz [laughter] because you're asking because but it's been very cryptic. I mean, for me, it seems like that's a marriage announcement. It's like, you know, you know, I hope you're proposing because all this maybe auntie has other plans. So, answer the comment section. [laughter] Yeah. I was like by ending one season you know [clears throat] you know in parable terms you know we we end marry I beg let's let's start the marriage season I would say the season I'm also in is um I started something new on my socials which is like kind of just sharing my journey with God and it's kind of called becoming her which is becoming the woman that God has called me to be and choosing his best cuz obviously I choose wrong so I'm Yeah. [laughter] So, I'm trusting him and I'm also trusting to just enjoy my current life and I'm obviously like people see it. Wait, can I say something? Yes, go ahead. Every time I see one of those becoming her. All right. But no, it's not about I'm not saying that every time I see any and please say something in the comments. Becoming her, finding myself, there's been a breakup involved. [laughter] The thing is though, I think somebody don't break up. The thing is though because I feel like a lot of um and I I don't want to say everybody but just in general I feel like women when we get into a relationship and maybe let me just speak for myself I noticed that in the past it's okay I can speak for women you all do it anyways we will lose ourselves into a person and then when we're coming out of the relationship you're like trying to find yourself trying to find yourself again and this time I noticed that the pattern for me cuz I was like why am I in this pattern and I noticed that I will get into a relationship and then I'll be like God this is the one Right. And it's just like, why [clears throat] didn't you ask me beforehand? Again, I'm like bringing God along with the ride instead of jumping on his bus. So, this time I'm using this new season with him by my side instead of him saying like, "Hey, follow me." But I'm following him. Please, can I keep a copy of this um episode cuz I'm going to play this for Roslin, you know? Wow. I'm just saying. Anyways, I would love this, you know. Don't worry. YouTube, YouTube, YouTube keeps it for because if you show up with one guy now, I'm going to remind you that you remember what you said about God. Did God tell you are you trying to get God to hop on the bus with you? The thing is it's not even about a guy at this point. I think I'm sorry. I'm saying like it's not even like about a guy at this point. I think I'm more so I realized that I need to also more so like focus on my own happiness create like my mentor was telling me that you need to create your own cake and everything and a person that's coming into just the icing on the cake. They're like they can't be the one that's part of your cake. You are the cake and they're the icing on it. They just make it more sweeter but your life is already sweet. Okay, I'm going to get into trouble for this. Oh no. [laughter] I I don't understand anything. Oh, you don't understand? Okay. So, B, I'm saying like I need to make I need to be happy with my own life. You know how like you create your own life. You're so happy with your life. Then why would you want it to change? Why would I want it to change? Why would you want it to change? Happier, huh? Like it's just you meet somebody, you're like, "Wow, like us together makes it even more sweeter." You know how they say like, you know, you already love your life and then like this person, it makes it even more sweeter. So that icing on the like it makes I don't know anybody. Okay. Whoa. Discontent is the catalyst for change. Right? It's hard to change what you are so happy with if you enjoy and love being single so much. Right? It's hard to marry. I can't speak to that. There has to be some discomfort with being single. But then what about the people that have said like they're lying. I don't [laughter] I didn't know. Okay. My bad. My bad. I own that one. I [laughter] That was that was that was problem. But you know when you're you know when you're doing a race that's a false start. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. I won that one. I won that one. I won that one. I [laughter] That was bad. That was bad. That was bad. Let me behave. That was bad. Well, let me put it back. Okay. So, the people that said that they enjoyed your life and then they meet that person just like, "Wow, being with you has made my life even more sweeter." like they meet that person, they've been enjoying it and they just like I've seen a lot of couples say that they're like some especially guys they're just like yeah I just never I would date but it just never clicked but I met her and it's just like wow I want her in my life. Let me tell you something. Yeah. When you meet the person that person their absence makes your life look poor. Yeah. Right. Their absence from your life makes your life unacceptable. Yeah. Right. If their absence from your life makes your life nothing changes, then what's the point? You understand [clears throat] what I'm saying? Mhm. So, it's not that you make my life sweeter. Mhm. Oh, my life is sweet now. You make my life sweeter. Right. Your presence makes my life, how do I describe it? Makes me aware. And what I thought was sweet was not that sweet. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You [clears throat] right. So you meet a guy, a guy, he's like, I'm having fun. I'm just I'm not trying to marry. But then you meet this babe and you're like, man, this is a look at this life. This life is just ordinary. [laughter] You know what I'm saying? And so you want this person in it. Mhm. Because you look at it and you see the reality of it. You know, and many times we delude ourselves and we create this fantas this this story to help us deal with our realities, right? And I'm not saying I'm not saying don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you can't be happy if you are single. No. I'm saying that there is a part of us that will always be discontent with a state that God did not intend for us. If we never were discontent with it, we would stay there. When the apostles, Jesus Christ told them, Mhm. get out of Jerusalem. Yeah. They weren't going to leave. It was comfortable. Mhm. And then they killed Steven and started to persecute them. They left. This thing must choke your body small before you leave it. So I don't know about this cake you want to bake. All right. I'm building a life to be happy. Happy happy with my own life. I like that. Yes. I [clears throat] guess it's like becoming her. The [laughter] You know what, y'all? It's going to be a great series. You just watch Transformation. I'm going to be a different ro. You know, I'm just messing with her, right? I I I I I I love I love everything you've said. I think it's really really good to find yourself, right? But more important than finding yourself, find God. Yeah. I'm doing it with him this time. I'm not doing it by myself. And Right. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. So, what about you, PF? My season. What season am I looking forward to? I'm I'm I'm just um I don't know these days. I don't I don't anticipate I don't know how to explain it. I take each season as God brings it. Yeah. I I recognize that there will be es and there will be flows. You know, there'll be highs and there'll be lows. Right. I feel like when I build castles in the sky, then I'm vulnerable to having them crushed. Yeah. Right. Um so I try to to to discern what God is saying. Mhm. Right. What is God saying for the next season? What is God planning for the next season? Mhm. And then sometimes he doesn't say anything and he's like just follow me, right? Just follow me. And I don't know what we're going to meet. And so it's an adventure. Mhm. Right. So for me, I know that I'm at the end of a season, you know. Um I don't know what the next season brings. I'm already seeing some harbingers of what is coming. Um and and so I'm excited, but I am waiting for instructions. I'm waiting for [ __ ] I'm not trying to sound super spiritual. If you know me, I'm the least spirit person on this planet. But I have learned that it is better to let God lead you than to create your own um than to have your own plans. Yeah. Cuz your plans only the council of the Lord will prevail and then you will be you'll be miserable trying to get God to hop on your bus. You'll be choking you. You'll be exactly [laughter] choking you. Thank you, John. So that is why we're fasting for two weeks. Yeah. to to just um what is the Lord saying for the next season? Mhm. And I'm I'm I'm looking forward to what he's saying. I'm looking forward to what he will do. I'm looking forward to where he will take us. I really don't know where. Mhm. To be honest with you, but I'm looking forward to it cuz it's with him. Yeah. When I was younger, he said something to me. He said, "Don't be afraid of the darkness." Don't be afraid of the unknown. Don't be afraid of tomorrow. Mhm. Because you are holding hands with the one who made tomorrow, with the one who made the darkness, and with the one to whom nothing is unknown. So there, wow, that was I think that's a great way to just wrap it up right there because So happy Thanksgiving. Yes, guys, like, follow, subscribe, tell us what you're grateful for in the comments, what season you're in, and happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. And don't don't fry turkey in your kitchen. Yeah, please do it outside. Set your house on fire. Do it outside. Outside. Yeah, that's crazy. Wet grass. Not not Yeah, please don't don't even try and fry in your garage. That's like a per like a a story like you know that before. I'm sorry. What? [laughter] What? What? Sound like you've done that before. I'm sorry. What? What? [laughter] Bye, guys. Bye. [music] Unfiltered.