(0:00)Confessing in the Unfiltered Chair
I remember first time I smoked weed, I was just so happy. I was just laughing at every joke, you know. I was walking out with a big smile on my face like I was stupid, but it was just a purely chemical and physiological reaction. My body was reacting to the to the weed, right? Um, so yeah. Yes, my parents might watch this. Please. Well, well, mommy, daddy unfiltered. Hey, uh, welcome to another episode of PF Unfiltered. And you know, we're not used to, this is not how it usually works, me starting it off. Usually one of the um the hosts, but today we've got two hosts with us. You've never met them. Incredible people. Much better than the other guys. Have we fired them? We should fire them. Wow. Anyway, we've got better hosts today. So, it should be a lot more. You guys behave yourselves. We try. Um so, I'll introduce them really quick. Yeah. Um there's Lami Baby. It's It's just Lammy day for today. Okay. We're not doing Lammy baby today. Not today. Not today. Okay. We're getting lame day today. Just God answers pray for this next hour. God answers prayers because man lambi baby man. Okay. And we've also got Kenneth Wagwan. Wagwan. Okay. Kenneth is chilled and calm for now. Hopefully he stays that way. And yeah. And I am your what am I? Usually Tund does this or I'm I'm I'm not the host. He's not. Oh wow. Isn't it PF unfiltered? You guys are supposed to be the host. You didn't brief these guys. We are filtered. We are the filter. You're No, you are the whole Oh, Jesus. You're the one that's unfiltered. Call them. Can you tell them? See, I am the PF in PF unfiltered. You guys are the host. There's I'm PF unfiltered. You guys are not in the title. That's good to know. I'm This is going to be a tough day. Anyway, no worries. Over to you.
(1:47)Do I Have Feelings?
Hi everyone. I'm Lami Day. Lami Baby. Lami Baby. How are you today, PF? I'm tired. It's been a long day. You guys have drained me already. Well, I'm here to make you more tired. Oh god. I have many topics for you. Oh no. You too, Kenneth. Uh, I am not tired. But PF, why are you tired? It's been a long few minutes of talking to the two of you. He's just joking. I'm actually an energizer, so I I already know he's just joking. I wouldn't call it a lie. I would just call it a joke. Yeah. Okay. PF, in last week's episode, you said something really interesting. What was that? At the end of the episode, I I usually say interesting things. That's true. You're really interested. You need to you need to just, you know, be specific. You said, and I quote, "I don't have feelings." Huh? That's what you said at the end. Someone said, "Oh, hurt their feelings." You said feelings. I don't have feelings. Who doesn't have feelings? Me. That's what you said. Can you believe it? Really? Yeah. Huh? I don't remember the context. Next. It's not next. We're sticking on it cuz today we're talking about feelings. Yes. Oh god. So, we have to stick to your feelings. Okay. I have feelings. Why did I say I don't have feelings? I do. I actually I'm trying to remember the context. It must have They're talking about people saying things that could hurt people's feelings. Mhm. And then you said, "I don't have feelings." No, I was just I was just I was just joking. I have feelings. Thank you. I just wanted everyone to know he does have feelings. Oh, absolutely. I would be inhuman to have feelings. I have feelings and my feelings get hurt. Very very emotional guy. I'm sorry. No, that's they're two different things. They're two different things. Yes. I have feelings and being a very emotional guy. Two different things. For real. When you call somebody emotional, there's an implication that they are not rational. Yeah. Implication isn't reality though. Implication is perspective, right? And perception, right? So if you imply that if you label me an emotional person, right? What you're basically saying to people who don't know me, who hear your label, is that I lack rational ability and I lean more to my emotions to guide my choices. Wow. I don't agree with that. Well, that's
(3:50)The Rational vs. Emotional Myth
the labeling. If you call somebody emotional, the idea is that they're not thinkers, that they are feelers, right? So, they feel about situations more than they think about situations, right? Which is in itself a misnomer, right? Because our emotions are the product of our thoughts. So, being an emotional person, every human being is emotional, right? But our emotions are the product of our thoughts and our beliefs. So, every human being is rational. Yeah. is just the the way I look at it is this right. Something happens. We can call it an activating event. Our reaction to that thing is dependent on our thoughts about it, our beliefs about it and the cor the emotion that those thoughts and beliefs create, right? And then we we we react. But that journey from event to reaction is so quick. is so quick that many times we don't recognize that we actually processed, right? And we live in a society where, you know, we've talked about this, where we're very quick to label each other. So the the the society labels men as rational and women as emotional, whereas men are rational and emotional. Women are rational and emotional. But the way that we talk sometimes gives credence to that idea. Women have sometimes sometimes some women have a tendency to say well I feel I feel I feel right and so you think they're emotional I know they they process they think and the same thing with guys are like men this is what I think no you're feeling right here you know so we're all the same man that's you that was a beautiful way to introduce our topic of the day what is our topic of the day
(5:32)Seasonal Depression and Faith
our topic today is seasonal depression and faith wow and the way that our emotions and our faith intersect and drive us Yeah. Yeah. Every day of our lives it does. Especially in these seasons. Yeah. It actually does. Faith is is um is really a lot about what you think. Mhm. Right. What you think about God, what you think about what God is saying, what you think about what God is saying about the situation, the circumstance, whatever. Right. And your emotions will respond to what you think. Yeah. So if you think that God can do this or God will do this or God has done this whatever if you have a positive um opinion about God's intervention or action right faith fills your heart in quote right because you're expectant if I if I think you know Lamei baby is going to you know buy me coffee right I'm expecting coffee I'm expectant right you know but if I don't trust Kenneth right to buy me coffee then I go get my own You know what I'm saying? But really, it's because I have assessed Kenneth and you're wearing a green jacket, man. You're not buying me coffee. People in green jackets don't buy me coffee. You know what I'm saying? It's just thinking, right? And the thinkings produce feelings. So, I agree with you to an extent. Well, okay. Before I get into that, I would like to first thank our viewers and our listeners today. Thank you all for joining us. We hope to give you something to write home about today in our conversation or in the comments. Nice things, of course. Please. Yes. Nice things. Be nice to PF especially. Yes. Yeah. He has feelings. He does. We just found out. So, there's this I think part of what
(7:18)The Physiology of Mental Health
you're what you're saying is factual, right? Um, but I feel like it tends to help people to lean into this idea that if they're feeling depressed, if they're feeling down or they're having a tough time mentally, it's because their thoughts are not correct. No, I I I I that's not what I was saying, right? There two tracks to our feelings. I was speaking of one track, right? There's another track to our feelings that has nothing to do with our thinking. It has to do with our bodies. Mhm. Right. Um, classic example. If I smash you on your knee with a hammer, right? The pain, right? You're going to feel the pain in your body. Yes. But it's going to bring your emotions down. You're not going to be a happy bunny, right? That is your body causing an emotional reaction, an emotional sensation. If you're if you've got a cold, right? We say you're feeling the blues because you're kind of miserable. Right. Right. But that is a physical thing going on in your body. So there are physiological causes, right? To um there are sometimes physiolog. Usually some people drink and become very angry. Yes. Because again your physiology right produces an emotion, right? Depending on what your physiology is, right? if you smoke weed, right? I remember the first time I smoked weed, I was just so happy. I was just laughing at every we joke, you know, I was walking out with a big smile on my face like I was stupid, right? But it was just a purely chemical and physiological reaction. My body was reacting to the to the weed, right? Um, so yeah. Yes, my parents might watch this, please. Well, well, mommy, daddy, Jesus has delivered me. But before he did, yes, I did some things. That's why I needed Jesus. So why can't we why can't we pray away the body? Like cuz aren't we like supposed to overcome our flesh? Like
(9:30)When Prayer Isn't Enough
I don't know that we can't pray it away. I know that we can pray, right? And I know that God intervenes when he wants. It's not every headache we pray for that we get healing on. It's not. There are times I prayed for God to heal me of something and I had to go take Advil, right? And I've prayed about being depressed cuz I've struggled with depression and I had to take my well-being. Well, that is God giving you, guiding you to the tools. You might not have taken away the depression, but wasn't that God providing you with the tools you need to manage this circumstance? Um, yeah. Yeah, we can say that. We can we can say that, right? Um, we can say that. But I I I worry when we say it like that. That is the truth. when we say like that sometimes it makes people it might make some people actually you know it doesn't doesn't matter that's that's the truth okay that's the truth yes God will lead you to the tools to to get that that's the truth and nothing but the truth
(10:27)Is Therapy A Lack Of Faith?
okay so I think it's really important sometimes when it comes to you know talking about faith and God and when it comes to our mental health you know people have this well let me not just say people Christians have this perception of mental health where it's like what do you mean you're struggling when you have God. Like, how can you be depressed? Pray. Fix it with prayer. But it's like, yes, I've prayed, but God actually told me to talk to a therapist. Yeah. So, how do we move on from from me just praying to me talking to a therapist without it seeming like, oh, I don't have faith in God. I I think people who think like that don't read their Bible. True. Because the even in the Bible,
(11:05)Biblical Examples of Depression
Jesus sought out helpers. Yeah. I I feel like when you look through scripture, right, scripture paints such a comprehensive view, right, of our lives in 2025, right? If you look at the prophets, Jeremiah and his lamentations, that guy was not the happy bunny, right? He was a guy who, you know, from the way he spoke was sad and miserable a lot of the times. The Bible says Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, right? You can't read the Bible. Yeah. and think that being happy is the default state of every Christian. Right. Right. And and you know, we always think that the people who don't read their Bibles are usually the ones who, you know, who are um um who are happy, you know, they're not serious people. Depressed people don't read their Bibles, too. It's it's it's an equal opportunity offense. M so people come to this conclusion that oh if I'm struggling with these levels of sadness that are not normal right it means that I have stepped outside of God right Jesus Christ was a man of sorrows acquainted with grief there's nowhere in scripture that talk about how Jesus just sat down and he was laughing from his bed and there's none he wasn't a happy guy as we define a happy guy he wasn't a jolly guy just wasn't there's nowhere scripture that describes Jesus as a jolly guy Jeremiah Isaiah, uh, Ezekiel, you know, Elijah, David, David, I mean, you read the Psalms, man. Psalms, Job, Job, Job, you can even say was circumstantial, right? Right. But David, David was a a I mean, Solomon was so cynical. Read um Ecclesiastes. Maybe even suicidal. I don't even know. Right. But the point I'm trying to make is that we we read into scripture what we want many times, not what is there. Mhm. And if you read what is there, it paints a very clear picture of life. We just choose to project our own whatever on it. I I can't understand somebody who reads the Bible and uh Jesus Christ said, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" You know, so over and over in scripture, we see examples of people feeling down. Mhm. Right. Yeah. Faith is not uh it's not going to it's not going to um always shield you from life p I I think where I struggle is when it comes to joy right so like joy happiness they're like joy is not circumstantial but then I think I have like connected joy to being I should look joyful do you get what I mean because you just said like you I not be happy in general, but like we're supposed to have joy at all. That's what I've been told and I I believe that. So when I have joy, should I not portray that? Should I not show that? What What is joy?
(14:10)Redefining Joy in the Darkness
Is it a feeling? Joy is joy is a feeling, right? That comes from knowledge, right? That comes from from within. Mh. Right. Joy does not always change your circumstances. So imagine somebody who is having depression that is a consequence of a physiological issue. Right? Some chemicals are imbalanced and they have joy, right? But the chemicals are imbalanced cuz joy doesn't always change the circumstances. So the chemicals are still imbalanced and you're still going to feel the way you feel because the chemicals are still imbalanced. But juxtaposed to that imbalance and the depression that comes from that imbalance is joy. Right? And in that instance, joy is not a sense of elation which we think of as happiness. Joy is a sense of knowing that even in this darkness, right, even in this darkness, even with this cloud over my head, Mhm. right, I know that God is with me, right? Even with this darkness, I still have hope that the cloud will lift, right? Even in the darkness, I still have confidence that light will come. Right? That's joy, right? But we think of joy as being this thing that overwhelms everything. And sometimes sometimes it is sometimes it is in spite of your circumstances. But remember it is in spite of your circumstances. It's not that your circumstances go away. If your circumstances change it's not joy anymore, it's happiness. I see. Right. So in the middle of the storm there's a sense of well-being which is at the root of what happiness is. Not just elation. Happiness is not just yay that's madness like you spoke something. Happiness is is elation is well-being is is is calmness is you know is all of these things right and it exists coexists with difficulty and challenges. Mhm. So look at depression right in the middle of the storm in the middle of the darkness. When I when I I described depression for some folks one time I said it felt like there was a cloud a dark very heavy cloud that followed me around everywhere except when I got on the pulpit to preach. The cloud never followed me to the pulpit. But once I got down like I shot my Bible and took one step off the pulpit the cloud took its position over my head you know. And I think for me, I didn't experience the joy of the Lord in that season because I was so focused on how as a Christian I should not be feeling like this. So I could not look to God. Yeah. In fact, I resented God for letting me feel like this. Many times I would preach and while I'm preaching, I'm not feeling anything. I'm just feeling like my regular self, you know, and I preach this sermon and then as soon as I'm done preaching the sermon, literally my my my feeling of whatever it was I was feeling on the stage goes, I'm not talking about 5 minutes later. I'm talking about, so God, you're just using me, right? Like you really don't care. You just use me. Yeah. That that's that's rough, man. You know, so rather than look to God in that situation, I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I was an I was an anomaly, right? And I realized that hey, there are a lot of things in the Bible that I didn't know. So I went back and I started to check the word of God because the Bible says let God be every man a liar. My experience doesn't define God. God has defined himself. Right. Right. I accept his definition of himself and my experiences conform to that definition of him. Right. So I went and I looked and I saw God again and I realized that okay I had missed it. I still struggle with depression till today. That's one thing that he hasn't quite healed me from. Right. It's not as bad as it used to be for me. Um I take my medication. When I don't take the medication it comes back. I don't think it's demonic. I think it's just physiology. Yeah. I think you said something that a lot of people can um really relate to, which is that in their seasons where, you know, they're feeling down or depressed, a lot of people feel like, "Oh, there must be something wrong with me. I'm not doing something right." So, they feel like they need to work harder and they need to strive for something to fix this feeling of depression. And you know, we're right now we're in no November. We're in November. November. And um if you're on social media, I'm sure that once September 1st hit, that winter arc, it was everywhere. Everybody was like, "It's September 1st. It's time for your winter arc. It's time to work." For for the non, I guess, anime watchers, it's like you're about to go into like a a season of doing very specific actions to grow to be this version of yourself. You're working really hard. This is when you're going to the gym. You're doing this. you're getting a new job, everything preparing yourself for the next year. And it all has to be done September to December. And if you fail, you're a failure. And I feel like a lot of people end up in this space where it's like, well, I'm actually really tired. The sun is going down at 400 p.m. and I don't feel my best, but I need to keep working hard. You know, seasonal depression, it's um characterized by this time of the year where the sun is not out as long, it's cold outside, so people are isolating themselves. people are at home and because of the world you feel down. Typically it lifts in the spring and people start to feel better again once the weather changes. But in this season where a lot of people are going through seasonal depression or can be experiencing seasonal depression. There's also these this other side of I need to be working harder. I need to be preparing for the next year. So when you were in the space where you felt like oh there must be something wrong with me or maybe not back then but how maybe would you approach that now? I I I think if you if you if you wake up and you see a bump on your knuckle right you would go and do some research. That's the world we live in today. You've got Google, you've got Chad JPT, you've got a lot of resources literally on your phone. You'd go and do some research. I am feeling some type of way. There's no reason for me to feel like this, right? Why am I feeling this way? Ideally, you'd find professional help. But let's just say that's advanced. Most people don't just pick up the phone and call a therapist off the bat, right? But if you feel some type of way, I would say check, right? What what I'm feeling blue. It's been going on for a week. Work is great. Friends are great. No problems. You know, I feel, you know, I've been in the gym, but I just feel blue. Mhm. You'll find out very quickly that you're not the only person feeling this. Mhm. And you find out very quickly that well, you're entering that month where the sun goes down faster. Your access to vitamin D reduces, right? Being indoors continuously for longer periods of time will bring you down. Period. Um people are isolating cuz it's cold. There's something about the cold that makes you feel miserable. It's it's a weather thing, right? You have to pile on clothes to stay warm, right? And those clothes are not usually the most comfortable. I beg to differ. Okay. Well, for you, for me, Houston. Oh my god. For me, I can for me, right, I I feel like my my my ideal item of clothing is a linen shirt, right? And linen pants. The lighter the better. Mine is a swimsuit. Yeah. There you go. when when you when you put on you put on um um long johns, right? Then put on fleece pants, right? Then wear a t-shirt, right? Then wear a a sweatshirt, then wear a sweater, then wear a coat. Maybe if you're in Alaska. No, in Dallas. In Dallas. How long have you been in Dallas, guy? About two years. That's why you missed our Let me tell you, my first year in Dallas, my car, my car, I was on the high five, right? You know, we have those tall bridges in Dallas. And the car literally was sliding back on the ice backwards on the ice. Yes. So, don't mess Don't Don't mess Please don't jinx it. No. Like, seriously, Dallas if Dallas does its thing like you will think you're in Alaska. actually at least for 3 days. What I talk about, how long did they lock us up in last what year was it in April? It was like 2021. It was like a week week and a half. Yeah. And and and trust me, we get that just not for that long. Mhm. Right. So don't even What are you kidding? Sorry. Or you wear sweater, you tired. I'm telling you, even just especially for someone like me who I enjoy doing things outside. I enjoy going on walks, runs, you know, just being in nature, especially since I work at home. So, I have to be very intentional about getting out of the house. So, when it's cold outside and going outside, wear a sweatshirt, wear a sweater, wear I'm staying in the house. I'm not going. And you know, you're breathing the same it it can get stifling and it can, you know, and if you are alone. Mhm. Right. Whether you are alone in you're not in a relationship with anybody that you live with or you are in that space mentally alone, right? It can be a really difficult season, right? Really, really difficult. And it's one of those seasons where because you're still doing work and you're still grinding, right? You can miss it. Yeah. And some people get into it and don't realize what's going on. Yeah. And then they can't get out of it. Mhm. Because they it just becomes so heavy. Right. and sets them back so far during the winter months that when spring comes it's just hard to break out of it, right? And then you're still in it in the summer and before you know that regular depression depression more seasonal. Yeah, it's not seasonal. But you know there are many different types of depression. There's the seasonal, there's the circumstantial, right? So the key thing for me, right, is to identify what you are feeling. I've learned that if the way you feel is not the norm for you, don't be quick to chalk it up to, you know, we we myself and pastor in those days used to talk, you know, and I would say to him that I don't I I feel some type of way, but in my mind, I'm like, why what am I carrying? I'm not doing that much. Why am I feeling so off, right? And he'll be like, well, you're doing a lot. You're doing you're doing a lot. And I'll be like, okay, so I'm doing a lot. I'm doing a lot. I'm doing a lot. And and and that was how we're looking at it. But I remember I had more capacity. I could do a lot more without feeling so overwhelmed, right? And if I paid attention to that, I would have noticed it was depression. But then again, what would I have done about it? Even if I knew I was a pastor in an organization that did not really talk about those things. Um, so I I wouldn't have known what to do, you know, and when I did realize it was depression, I rejected it in the name of Jesus. Amen. Alas, how did that go? Not well. That's my favorite thing Nigerians do. When you tell them something, I rebuke it in Jesus name. Well, Jesus was there when it happened. And there's a place and there is a place for rebuking it. There's a place for not accepting. There's a place for speaking the word of God. But I think sometimes, right, we we use that as an excuse not to really engage with life, right? You rebuke everything, right? So, you don't have to think about it. Yeah. You've rebuked it. It's almost like you know somebody you hear something is going under your arm and you refuse to go to the doctor and you keep hoping that you know what this nothing is nothing is nothing by you finally get like you should have seen us two years ago about this you know I feel like sometimes we're like that um yeah so I'm not rebuking anything anymore unless I feel I get a sense right that this is demonic activity and one of the beauty of one of the beautiful things about the Holy Spirit is that he will tell you either directly through dreams or through counsel that you you. This darkness you feel is demonic, right? Not all the darkness is demonic. Sometimes the darkness is your chemical hormonal balance. You've been eating too much rubbish. Sometimes sometimes sometimes is is hereditary. You know, your chemical balance was whacked from the day you were conceived. There are many reasons for it, but to just go to default is a demonic thing. We don't talk about it, guy. That's not wise. Those demons will have a field day in that case. We have to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's very true, you know, and then these times um when people are going through such difficult times, it's hard because you you still have to work like you said, you still had to pre you have to pastor. You still have to support other people. If you have children, no matter no matter what's going on, life is still going on in the midst of your difficulty. So, it's really important to, like you said, know how to name it. lab. I know you don't like labels, but you have to I have a problem with labels for a very specific reason. For a very specific reason. We don't want to go into that. Yeah, let's not start, please. But we have to you have to be able to label it so that you can work on it, right? So that you can do things to get out of that space or to manage the space better. Absolutely. I agree with you. Right. Yeah. So, um sorry, I lost my train of thought. So I know that usually because I know for me um in recent months you know I was talking to a friend recently and I was telling her I was like you know everything is going great like you know work is fine I'm fine with my friends I'm going to church I'm doing all the great things I'm fine I was like but for some reason I just don't feel very good and then you know we're just having conversation I think this is the most important thing about community which is also a really big thing when you're experiencing depression cuz I'm just talking to her and then she was like are you depressed like are you feeling depressed and I was like I had to Stop. I had to like take a step back. Like you didn't rebuke her. H me. Rebuke her. You didn't tell her. Either your father is depressed. No, I called my therapist. So, so you you're you're already approaching this thing with a level of education, right? A level of experience that a lot of people don't have. Yeah. Right. So when are you depressed? Immediately is an insult. Mhm. That has to be refuted vehemently with a more powerful insult. You know, I think it's actually a sign of good community. It's a sign of people informed community. Informed is a good thing. Yeah. Because there's lot of people who care about us and be like, "Ah, go and pray. Go and pray." Exactly. They'll be the one telling you to pray. Go and pray. It might be a lot of people who don't care about me. And prayer is always the first step, right? For sure. When we see an aberration in our lives, right, we pray. But when we pray, we're open to God healing us in whatever way he wants, right? So sometimes the healing is in seasons. Mhm. And sometimes it's permanent. Sometimes it's instant. Sometimes it takes longer. Right. But as long as we yielded to the sovereignty of God, knowing how much he loves us, then we'll be all right. Mhm. Mhm. I didn't say we'll be happy. But PF, I want to be happy. Happiness is an illusion. Mhm. It's like mist. A mirage. Well, I want to live in the mist. No, you don't. Let me phrase that. It doesn't matter what you want. Oh, see, and that's exactly the problem I keep running into. It is what it is because because think about it, right? Happiness is so fickle. Right. What would make you happy in this moment? Right. Right. I mean, baby, what would make you happy in this moment? Oh, man. Just something really small, honestly. Very light. Million dollars. I I mean I would be so happy. Yeah. Very small. Okay. Okay. Very small. Very small. I got you. Um where's my my assistant? Pf. I can say my own. No, he didn't ask you. No, he didn't ask you. Uh kasali. How much you say? Just 1 million. $1 million. I'm also 2 million for me. Just 2 million for you. You didn't ask. You see you see greed. You see greed. First of all, how can someone ask somebody for something and then you you'll be saying, "Oh, me too. Me too. Can I receive mine first? Me too. Me too is okay. Me too is okay. But are you getting it? No. It would make you happy. But guess what? You get your 2 million, get your 1 million. No problem. That 1 million, right? In your mind, you're thinking, I will do this. I'll do this. I'll do that. Chances are you would not get 80% of those things done before that money is finished. Then what? Then you come back with the next million. There you go. I'm living in the midst. Or continues to provide it. Yeah. But but but but after a while, right, that whole thing with the millions get dull, gets dull, it gets boring. Then I ask for 3 million. Then you ask for 3 million and then you don't get it cuz what have you done with the 1 million? Well, now I'm sad. But there you go. And that's the problem. Yeah. That's nature of happiness. Happiness is transient. It's here today, it's gone tomorrow. And we attach it to a lot of things that are transient, right? that are unstable. You attach your happiness to a person, not easy to a person and people are people. Oh yes, they are. They have their own mind. They have their own desires, their own will and they can disappoint you. Inevitably, they will disappoint you, right? There's a happiness that a person can provide for you. But there's a joy that has to come from God that transcends that. Because no matter how fantastic the person is, it's impossible for a human being not to offend you once. Mhm. Impossible. So what are you going to do? I'll stop talking to them forever. There you go. That solves the problem. I'll talk to God. Your world will get See, your world will just gradually get smaller and smaller and smaller until more depressing until you look in the mirror and there's only you left in your world. Me and God because that's even God. If you chase a word out of your life, I don't think God is going to stay seeen as you're the one that chased them. Seriously, because God says I am love. How can you say you love me if you don't love your neighbor? You're chasing people away. Can you love them? No, you can't. And and I can think of like so many I guess times in my life where like I pursued happiness in the sense of something to get and I would get it and then immediately like just a few. For example, when I was moving to Dallas, I wanted to move to Dallas, right? like it's got to be Dallas. I was in Virginia. So, oh that's why you like the gold, right? So, so I was in Virginia and I was like I can't wait to move to Dallas like but I wasn't sure. Like I still had to apply and everything and ultimately I got it and I mean a few months later I'm living in Dallas and all that and now it's like yeah next what next? There's always another hill to climb. Exactly. There is there's always something else to get. Always a problem to solve. always. So what next? And I mean I think for me I had to just think about like obviously God like I I can't lie like I had to think about it in the sense of God is the ultimate one that I pursue in the sense of as long as I have him Mhm. everything else you're good. Yeah. It's fine. I'll be okay. That's powerful. Right. That's just how I approach it. Yeah. Happiness is a very transient, very deceptive thing. It's it's like a rat race or a hamster wheel. Just keep running, chasing it, and once you think you take a bite of it, oops, it's gone. Another bite. Oops, it's gone. And time is going. Mhm. Right. As opposed to, you know, just finding that sense of of of um what's the word? Is it fulfillment? Contentment. Fulfillment. Contentment. Mhm. Contentment is is I think the one of the one of the best antidotes to depression. Not all. Mhm. Not all. There are different kinds of depression, but just general generic, you know. Mhm. Just being content with whatever your circumstances are, right? And that's a very difficult thing for human beings. Cuz we have a tendency to be aspirational. We're constantly aspiring to things. Yeah. And if you come from a materialistic society like some of us do, not me. No, seriously. I mean, if you come from a materialistic society, the pressure to acquire, cuz you're defined by the material things you have, right? You know, you're defined by how much money you have, what kind of car you have, where's your house, right? And people treat you accordingly, right? If you if you walk into a room, your humanity is not what leads, right? And how people interact with is your wallet, right? So if you if you if you come in as a human being and we get a sense that your wallet is not fat, then we're disdainful and dismissive of you, right? And disrespectful many times or you come into a room, doesn't matter if you're a criminal, right? But there's money in your wallet, all of a sudden people defer to you, right? People treat you with an honor that you don't deserve, but simply because of the size of your wallet, your character becomes irrelevant. is totally irrelevant right and we keep thinking that if I get that if I get that right if I get that to that place where you know I walk into my people don't ignore me don't despise me don't dismiss me don't me then I'll be truly happy right and then you get there but there's some people who have more than you so they look at you sideways still then you get there then you get there you're constantly we're constantly chasing things right hoping that these things will give us fulfillment which many times is attached attached to things that cannot give us fulfillment. The approval of men can never give you fulfillment. It doesn't. When people approve of you, it's nice. It's nice. It's nice, man. I promise you when I preach a good sermon, I be like, "Man, Pier, that song was great. He's nice." But there will be one person. Always. Always. Always that one person who look you in the face and be like, "Yeah, I mean, you've done better, but you know, it was good. It was okay." you know, or also like if I don't agree with you, I don't agree with you at all. You can just say it's me. It's okay. No, your problem, but you get my point, right? Mhm. You're happy the Yeah, it's it's a it's a challenge. And PF, I think I've heard you in one of your sermons, you mentioned something along the line of once you're living, I think living out purpose in terms of what God uh a place for you to do, that's when you find, I guess, contentment. Am I right? Absolutely. Because you're outside of God's will for your life, right? And I think it's possible outside of God's will for your life. I think God did not intend for Samson to go out the way that he went out, right? I think the way he went out was a consequence of his own profleacy and in discipline, right? But fulfillment, contentment comes from having all that you need, right? Knowing that you have all that you need to do what God has called you to do, right? Contentment is aligned with purpose and purpose has to be aligned with God. So ultimately, you cannot separate contentment from alignment of purpose. God resources you to the extent that you are committed and actively pursuing his purpose. Right? And if you're not pursuing his purpose, then what is he resourcing you for? Right? So contentment inherent in contentment is that you are satisfied with what you get. But what you get is determined by what you do, who you do it for. So if you're living for yourself, where are you going to get contentment from? You're insatiable. You're insatiable. You're going to keep going. If you are the metric, if you are the standard, if you are the goal, you are the purpose, you're going to be satiable. But if your life is about God, and God says, this is my plan for your life. Right? At certain at certain point, you realize, okay, I have enough to do what God wants me to do. I have enough to be who God wants me to be. I'm not defined by my wallet or my car. I'm defined by the extent to which I fulfill God's purpose for my life. And talking about fulfillment, I think we we know of a certain bakery that can fill you up pretty pretty good. You know, this conversation is actually making me kind of hungry. Yes. Need some bread? I would love some bread. The daily bread, physical bread, all bread. Spir bread. Borrow barrel Avenue bread specifically. Thank you. Thank you. They're all sponsors for today's episode. And if you would love to sponsor an episode, you know, just reach out to link below, you know, just reach out to us and we'd love to have you. So, there are seasons where people, especially in this um winter season, there are seasons of people's lives where they are following pursuing what God wants them to do and they are feeling content, but they're still feeling depressed. Yeah. Right. And in those seasons, we have to make sure that we are employing different tools and different ways to I don't want to say chase happiness or make ourselves happy, but rather to alleviate the feeling of depression, right? You know, get getting outside if you can. I know it's cold outside. If you can get outside, you know, making sure that you get in community and have conversations with people who are similar in thought with you. um making sure that you surround yourself with those who love you. Um are there any other ways that you guys would suggest people kind of like honestly pray? No. No. Know where you stand in God, right? Know what God is saying about you. Know look for it if you don't know. Because ultimately right that knowledge right determines a lot in our lives. So you can you can be content you can have everything you know your pursuit's purpose and all that. If you know what God is saying you come to a point where I don't know if you guys have heard of something called a dark night of the soul. Yeah. It talks about the night when a Christian a good Christian experiences the absence of God. the absence of the feeling of the presence of God. And it's it's tough. It's excruciating. But it doesn't remove God. Mhm. It's just you don't you're not feeling his presence, right? Um and you will go through that, right? That you know, this might be one of those dark nights of the soul events, right? Um it's not about whether you eat breakfast or not. And by the way, you should eat breakfast, bar bread. But right, it's about being in lock step with the spirit of God. Yeah. And letting the spirit of God guide you into that place of rest. Yeah. And I don't say that from a spiritual place. I say from a practical place. Knowing where I am, right, helps me move forward, right? So if I know that, okay, whatever is going on in my life has nothing to do with God. me and God are good but this is just the reality of it then I can look for methods like breakfast and walking in the sun and you know and whatever right but if if I don't know then it's hard yeah I a I agree with you I think that is great advice it is I think that is fantastic advice is I think especially for people who may maybe are not as strong in their walk with Christ as you per se. Ah I'm a strong man in my walk with Christ. Is it strong? You know that can be it might not feel so tangible right because sometimes when you are in a deep depression and you are kind of in darkness you know you you described it as a cloud over your head. I describe it as a constant feeling of drowning. When you have that feeling, sometimes thinking to yourself or have seeking out what God thinks about you can be difficult. Absolutely. It's really it's difficult. And a lot of and sometimes it's I know for for example for me in in times where um a few years ago I was really down and there wasn't really much that I was able to do to get out of it. Sometimes the only thing I would say to God was God, I'm really sad. M that's it. That was my whole prayer. I'm really sad. And even though I wasn't necessarily asking for anything, asking for tools in that season, God provided me with the tools that I needed. And at that time, one of the things that he guided me to do was to start serving in church, right? And that was extremely helpful to me. Another one another thing that, you know, I realized is, you know, let me engage in some hobbies. Do things that just allow my brain to rest. What kind of hobbies? I like to play the Sims. That's my favorite hobby. What's that? It's a video game. Yeah, it's a It's a video game. It's a simulation game. I like to go rollerblading. I like to do my nails. I like to run. I like I'm getting into tennis. I'm I'm kind of a hobby collector. I just I think it's really good for people to engage in things that allow their minds to rest, which is a very important part of healing. Um yeah, I I like to bake. When I bake, my mind switches off. I I can tune out the world, right? You know, um I can think in ways that is like is like an empty room for me. Mhm. You know, so sometime when I'm tired, like I'm really tired and I go in the kitchen and I start mixing um ingredients. My wife is like, "Don't you don't you know how to rest?" I'm like, "You don't understand. This is rest. This is it's not physical rest, but mental rest." And I've always had trouble shutting my head down. So finding some kind of activity that is not mindless cuz my mind would push away mindless things right. I need some intellectual engagement. Mhm. But you know it's productive also. I don't like it's like I I don't like going to the gym because I I I feel like if if in the course of my day I lifted weights, right? Yeah. Right. But then to go somewhere, get stand on the spot and just be running. Oh my god. Where you going? Treadmill like where you going? No, I'm not going anywhere. So why are you running? Just exercise. Yeah. Or or going lifting weights. In my mind, I'm like why? It's not like a bag of rice you need to move into the pantry. Daring you to move that bag of rice. Is that in old age you can still lift rice? I can't I can't. That's my problem, right? It's it's too quiet. It's too quiet, right? It's It's not going anywhere. So, for me, baking, I can I can see the product I'm making, what it looks like. I can, you know, the the repetitive repetitive be things that you have to do, you know, and just the calm when the mixer is mixing. I know it's loud, but it's just I can understand that. I appreciate heaven. I want to go I want to go and make a kick now. Can I go home? How How about you, Kenneth? Do you have anything that you like to do to let your mind rest? Sadly, working out. I I Hey, happy for you. Hey, I have I have if you Hey, whatever floats your boat, man. If you want to just, you know, carry bags of rice for the fun of it, absolutely. Or you can get a job carrying bags of rice, anyone. But hey, you do you, man. Sure. Yes, sir. And and honestly, I think something else we mentioned just over the course of of of our time was understanding or recognizing when there's a shift, right? And I think that's the probably the practical approach to it. So, just be willing to maybe talk to someone, a friend, family when they notice either you or yes, professional, please get go to a therapist even if you're not sure, you know, let them make that that decision or that or you know, advise you. you know, just being paying attention to that [ __ ] So, that's that's what I took away. And also just even though we're Christians, if we are Christians, not to feel a sense of guilt when we get those feelings or when you are diagnosed with depression, right? That that is a big thing that I took away from today. For sure. Awesome. Great. So, thank you guys all for watch. Thank you, PF, for sharing with us. Thank you. Yeah, you guys, thanks for for for anchoring this show. You guys were a lot of fun. Not like those other guys, man. Those guys are hearing that. He's just joking, guys. We just joking. PF is just joking. Well, you guys don't want to come back. I want you guys to come back. I wouldn't mind coming back, but I can't come back. You guys are free, right? I can't come back because I'm abusing for other people. You guys are free. Those are asking for money. So, you guys I'm only free today. Can we Can we let them go? These ones. These ones are so impressed. They'll give me for free. Are you sure? I would do free first two shows. H. Okay, that's fine. They will replace them after. Thank Thank you all for watching. Be sure to like, comment down below. Let us know what you do for rest and how you seek out um comfort during this time. And please be sure to subscribe because don't you want to hear more from us? I mean, it's me, Lammy Baby. Oh, PF is here, too. Welcome. Kenneth is here, too. Oh, yeah. Kenneth, we're on TikTok. Like let's just call this Lammy Baby unfiltered. Actually, change the name. LB unfiltered. Listen, y'all. No, I think we don't need the second episode we had. You can let her go now. You guys subscribe to my own channel, LB Unfiltered. All right, guys. Thank you all so much. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Unfiltered.