(0:00)The 'Pregnant on Day One' Reality Check
I know a guy and and a girl. They didn't even do long distance. They didn't know each other. They've known each other for maybe what three, four weeks, maybe a month or two months. Yeah. They felt the Lord had um and the Lord said, the Lord said, and I'm like, "Slow down. Slow down." Nah, man. The Lord said, and they get married and she gets pregnant on day one. Day one, man. I'm telling you, I'm sure the first time they had sex, she got pregnant. Okay, cool. But, but you know, like a lot of couples, they start off without money. See what then happens, right? So, there's no money, right? She's pregnant. Hormones, right? So, I don't know you now. I'm dealing with you always. Yeah. Anything. You're crying, you're angry, you're you're you can't get out of bed, you're throwing up, you're ill, you're sick. That was my first experience. It's a liability. Unfiltered.
(0:48)Introducing Pastor AK-47
Hello and welcome to another episode of I just We haven't even started yet. You already because we have a special guest. You didn't even let him start the first because we have a very special guest. I was going to go around and do I have a very special guest. All right. Don't be annoyed. Me annoyed. No, no, no. Um, my name is Tony Condola. I'm joined by my awesome co-host Esther Griffin. That's what you were saying about her earlier now. She's awesome. No, we're on camera so I have to Don't believe everything. Clearly, I have to be. My goodness. Don't get your 10 to be de um obviously pastor feay or PF on filtered. Um we all know you. We appreciate you. But I want to get to the special guest. Oh [ __ ] You know I guess that's it was hard for us to get on the show. You know she's very busy obviously. Um uh she has a lot of stuff going on. We just wanted to like take the time to I asked her to come and she came. We stop. Yeah. He to use his connections. It's not that it's not that simple. She has a business. She works. She leads a church. I mean, woman's ministry, three businesses, events at church. She's a very, very busy woman. Very busy. The rest of us are playing. We're not playing. That means that's why you guys don't value my time cuz I make time to be here. You know how busy I am. PM, this is your podcast. You have to be here. Yeah. I forgot. I forgot. Okay. All right. My god. Anyway, can we give a
(2:23)Why Are You So Busy, Ma?
round of applause for Pastor AK? Oh my goodness. We're so happy to have you. Happy to be here. Pastor AK, can you tell us your full name? Estella Akudo Matayo. So, why do we call why do we call you Pastor AK? Okay, so everyone I I was I used to go by my middle name when I was little. And um what's your middle name people? Okudo. And most Wait, wait, say it again. Audo. Yeah, she's not going to get together. That's exactly why. So my pastor in Nigeria, I was like, you know what? He got tired of me having to correct everybody. So he's like, you know what, we'll just call you AK. And then it stuck. Like what? How many years ago? So 199 almost 30 years ago. And it just stuck. So yeah, that's where I thought he was like AK. Yeah, literally when he said he was AK-47. So they actually used to call me AK-47. Okay. But then at a certain point in your life, no one can be calling you AK. It's cool when you're in college, but as an adult woman, no. All right, man. Okay. Well, I mean, uh, we appreciate the quick intro. And for why you going to ask why they call me Pier? I think we dealt with that already. I'm sorry. I don't competition so many times. I don't see this is my problem, right? I don't get all this kind of nice special treatment. This is a lie. I don't I mean technically he's not really lying and I mean I mean we can ask the the producers comments if you feel like PF is not honored on PF on future. Please don't say this thing. We can correct. It's okay. We don't want your comments. So we want your comments on that particular on that particular We don't want We want your comments. We appreciate your comments. We want your comments. You know we do. We do. We're just PF. We're just we're there's a very special guest. It feels interesting to be here because usually I'm hearing this banter like on my speakers driving in my car. So it's it's kind of funny to be part of it. Oh, so I get a chance to actually say all I want to say when I'm listening in the car and I want to be like like cut it out. Cut it out. And we have some ground rules. Yeah. Okay. Fe this is not a competition. Okay. I just want to say it's not a competition. Why? Why? Why did you Because has already started. I can already discern what is happening. Pastor Fei PF. Yeah, it's weird. It
(4:47)The Truth About the Pastor Fei/PF Confusion
sounds It does actually. Actually, every time people say Pastor Fei, I think of Pastor Fei Bon. Okay. Yeah. Who that? And for those who don't know Pastor Fei Bul. He's one of our associate pastors at Newan House. Oh, I know who that is. My bad. Pastor Fe. I know who you are. And And this is on record now. Yeah, I can see. Yeah, it's on. It's on record now. You're going to have to bring a piecement. Sorry. He actually leads our um foundational uh disciplehip program at church. So, no, he doesn't. Okay, that's all right. On to the next. All right. So, so wait, pause. He did though. Yes, he did. Okay. You're absolutely right. He did. Yes, he got You're right. He did up until a few months ago. No, you're Yeah, you're right. You're You're good. All right. So I mean the reason why we wanted you guys to come on because we really wanted you all to talk about your journeys and you know where started how did we get here how did our church become 16 years old um all the things uh relationship things and so I'll let start off with his questions is this is this is it's safe it depends no because I I personally am curious about like the the both of y'all individually your journeys before you met each other. Yeah. Right. What that was like I know PF has shared in the past and then pastor for you when you met when you laid eyes on this handsome man. See I be nice now. It was a prayer meeting. I won't lay hands on or eyes on nobody. I was like focused on Okay. So that's interesting. Tell us about that. like yeah that so um I went to to
(6:28)The First Time We Met: UNILAG Days
college in Nigeria um west coast of Africa and in uh UNILAG University of of college of medicine and we had so the church that I belonged to I was planting a fellowship in the college that I went to and so I remember we had like a a small group of people who were from the church and also were in the cuz the college of medicine was a bit of a smaller college compared to the large university and so We they gathered us together and like oh they were going to bring two two guys who you know not students who were going to pastor the fellowship. So I do remember because I have like a very visual memory. I do remember him walking in with our other pastor. He was the assistant then walking with our other pastor pastor scha I just remember thinking this guy is tall and he's dark um and but other than that oh no the answer particularly tall dark and he's just tall. I was very, you know, you know the funny thing. I was about to say and handsome and then I was like, don't say that. Yeah. I won't leave it down. PF already thinks I was digging on him from like way in the beginning. So So I can't I can't say that. No, look at look at trying to be I'm sitting down my You will not leave me alone. Sorry. I do remember thinking thinking that because also I was very I've always been like a you know just a bro's head so I just I do remember thinking that briefly but it was a very brief thought and then focus back on the prayer meeting. Um yeah so that's how we met. Um and then we became really really good friends. We're really really good friends for a couple of years. It was a large friend group actually and then we just sort of hit it off and got closer and closer. Um but yeah. Wait, what does that mean? Hit it off and got closer and closer. No, no, no. Not Not in a romantic way at all. Like literally like like pals. Like like good pals. That's your best friend. He was your best friend. I wouldn't say best. No. I I did have a um I would say maybe like four three or four of them from that group I was much closer to than the rest. So there were maybe like three best friends. I'd say yeah. But um no, not not a single romantic thought in my head for for real. For real. I mean I mean we've said this before. There was actually one or two people then he thought maybe and then he would talk to the friend group and would pray with him about it. So, I really wasn't thinking about that at all. I mean, think about it, too. I was like 20 when I met him. So, and I was in college. I was in school. What's the age gap between you all? Four years. Okay. Yeah. Oh, is that like an ideal age gap? You guys would say four years. Honestly, there when it
(9:00)Does Age Gap Even Matter?
comes to age gaps there, I don't think there any ideals. I've met couples that were the the woman is seven years older than the guy and they're doing great. What about like 15 years difference? I I I think age is a question of the perspective of people, right? You know, you have people who are mature, you have people who are not mature. You have people who their age, they lead with their age, and you have people who forget their age. So, it really depends on the I wouldn't specify an idea. I've never thought about age when it comes to PF. Never. Like, he's never been very Yeah. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Well, women don't think about it that much when the guy is older, like maybe like in close in age. I would say I say 5 years four years closer because you think I would be a little bit more like you know with a four years and then I met him as my pastor plus he was like grown grown had a you know big man job like a proper job I was 20 and in school so you think I'd have more quote unquote respect but my guy it's funny because it's kind of consistent like in the dating episode blog you guys should check it out if you haven't you mentioned that when it comes to something serious is or now the dating landscape is a little bit like finicky now because we are doing things we should not be doing all the time you have mentioned like aka is doomed well I
(10:15)Is the Dating Landscape Doomed?
don't think the word used was do is that the word that's what I heard like the the environment currently in the dating environment is I won't say doomed but it setelf up for failure because oh no it's obvious now I mean the results are speak for themselves we're not seeing people we're not people are not getting married people getting married the statistics are getting worse and worse Yeah. And you know, now I was just I was trying to highlight the the point you made about being friends genuinely being friends first before you not it's key. It's it's like I feel like friendship for us has been like a rubber band. So we stretch back and forth through all you know different um uh what's the word like seasons of our lives but that friendship is where we we always come back to that. We start off from that come back to that. Start from that come back to that.
(11:06)The Power of Being Best Friends
Um, I always say like even when we're having like a disagreement, that friendship means that my I'm really trying with or let me say we rather um are really trying with all of that not to hurt each other because you care about this person not just as you know your lover and all of that but also as your friend. Um, their well-being is is paramount. Like literally this is your best pile. So we're we're going to come back to that. Okay. Is it the same way? Sorry. Is it the same the mitsen pastor AK AK-47? Sorry. Is it the same? Was it the same perspective you had when you saw her like a look at this might be big guy? No. Remember he said they was just friends. I know. But like Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly the same. No, I'm agreeing with you. You have to tell the truth, not just agree with him. No. I just thought when you laid eyes on that, what was the first? I don't even think he did notice me that day. So, so
(12:01)He Didn't Even Notice Me!
you I come into a room, right, of students, right? There are ton of them there. Quite a few of them. Yes. I'm not looking at anybody specifically. I'm just trying to And we were coming to plant a fellowship and you It was a prayer meeting. I was coming as an It was serious. Yeah. No, we were basting a ministry. So, the the vibe was not check it out, cheeks. It was we were bing a word. how you used we used to say yeah we're I wasn't there to socialize so to speak so I wasn't really looking at people and saying oh this is you know what I mean it was a very different environment but I had seen her before that though I had seen her in um I'd gone for like a crusade or some event at uh at Yaba Sport Center Ro Park in those days and it was one of those church events and um I just seen somebody walk by and I and I noticed just the person but I didn't give it any other thought until much later that was the girl I saw that day and it stuck in my head for whatever reason which is impressive cuz PF don't usually notice things like that remember you know um those kinds of thing but yeah that was at the point there was no thought in my mind I didn't even if that was the last day I saw her I would not have been able to pick out a crowd for real on that day I promise yeah so can we for Fast forward now we're at the point where you guys have been friends for a long time. Can we now circle back to when he had that he came to have that conversation with you? That initial conversation where he didn't ask you to marry him. He I think he said something of um I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you or something like that. Right. Am I close? What's
(13:48)The 'I Want to Spend My Life With You' Moment
I can tell you the exact words but that's that's funny. We want to hear that. Yeah. Did you want like the whole story or just Okay. The short the short version. Yeah. So, a very short version. Very short version. We had this um Don't embarrass me, but I like that. We had like this um this um food soccer field where we used to pray. We're going on the long version. Okay. Compress it. Compress it. Compress it. Compress it. I'm okay. I'm compressing. We won't bring you back here. I'm good with I'm very nervous on that, you know, with cameras. So, it's I'm very happy just listening to the podcast and watching it from home. So that threat wouldn't even fly. Um anyway, the short version. So we had this football field where we soccer field where we used to play. Um we used to pray rather well play and pray. And I remember I was it used to be get really dark when the street lights went on. I remember I went there to pray one night and there's this guy, you know, I was really praying like seemed like he was in deep agony or praying about something that was very serious. And um so I on my way back um I I kind of like ran into him. And so he's like, "Oh, I'll walk you back to your dorm." You know, nice and shiverous and all that. And so he's walking me way back and we're chatting. And then I say, "Hey, did you, you know, hear that guy who was praying like, you know, I wonder what his issue was?" Like he seemed like, you know, Yeah. And then and so I laughed and then he didn't laugh. So I was like, "Oh, you know, as a friend, you know, like, dude, like you okay? Like was that you? Like what's going on?" And um so he kind of didn't want to say anything. So it wasn't planned at all. Wait, was it him? Yeah. It was him. Yeah. Seriously, conflating to the No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm very I'm very sure. You're joining. You are joining. I can even tell you what we were wearing. So, I'm very sure. Doesn't matter. You are joining two separate events. I think it's your story to tell. Trust me, I I have the better memory. But anyways, long story short, um so then at some point we were kind of like, you know, chatting about it like you know what's going on with him. And then um he's I don't know if I if I want to say his exact words. I'll say the one that wouldn't embrace him, but there was like a preface and then he was like he's he's realized that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Now I gave you the short version, but before that, literally just a few months before that was when um I like I said, no romantic thought in my head about him, but um my folks lived in a different city. So I used to go home every Christmas, you know, um and spend about maybe a month or so at home. I said, "Okay, where are you from?" I'm from Enugu state which is the southeast of Nigeria. He's from the middle west. The middle west. I don't know. My geography is is very I said middle or the west. Is it the west? I guess ya is west, right? I don't know. Somebody help me. You guys are Yuba. Southwest. West. Okay. I said middle and then I was like west because I'm not sure which. Okay. In in my mind is in the middle but I guess it's right. Okay. We trying to remember at all. Anyways, long story short, so I had gone home that that Christmas and realized and missed him so badly and that was when I realized that okay, my feelings towards him had changed. So I spent that whole time at home praying about it. So by the time he you know um he told me how he was thinking, feeling, whatever, I was already there. So we just had that whole conversation as to which is a part where I wouldn't tell you the details because I guess that's part that he thinks would you know he would be embarrassing but it's unfiltered. It's unfiltered. It's me being unfiltered around me. That makes sense. But yeah, so by the end I I remember we talked until maybe like 3:00 4:00 a.m. and by the end of the night we were pretty much like had agreed to to get married. So our first date was actually 2 weeks after that. Right. Yeah, it was too. But you already agreed to marry him pretty much. Yeah, cuz this was March 26th. His birthday was April 12th. So, our first date was on his birthday. And we had known him for his birthday. A couple of years. Yeah. Known him for like it wasn't like to marry me before you knew. Remember? Now, I guess I'm I'm I'm trying to figure out at what point in time did it just did you feel the shift? Like was there you literally went home because I used to go home summer holiday be home 3 months didn't give him a thought. Right. I literally went home that Christmas and it was like, whoa, what's going on here? In fact, fun fact, bad like fun fact, unilag then called a strike. Like school, you know, so school wasn't supposed to resume. I didn't tell my folks that UNL was on strike and I packed up and went back to school and like I'm not even going to lie, it was because of him. Like I was like, "Okay, I need to go figure this out." I tried praying against it for a while, but that didn't work against the feelings. You you want Who wants to come and be fall in love with their pastor? Just picture the choir leader in 2025 in my fellowship in college and I'm digging on my pastor. It was not that was that was very stressful. I know I find that's what people do now. They say I had a dream that and the pastor is my husband and the pastor is married but they had a dream. God forbid the bad thing. Fair for you. Was it was it were you did you feel spiritually self-conscious that someone was digging up on you as a Well, he didn't know. I had no idea. We didn't know. Yeah, he didn't know. I literally didn't find out until I was already like at home. Like it all happened like when while we were separated. God has a sense of humor while we were not together. So all we're not physically physically together. Same place. She's off in in Lagos. Ah, and I'm realizing I miss this girl. I'm thinking about this girl and this is not cool. You know, she's somebody in my fellowship in the fellowship I was pastoring, you know? Um, so I guess the the feelings were similar, the concerns were similar, you know what I mean? And I guess that was why I needed to pray through it, right? And not just assume that, okay, I like somebody. If it was just some person who was not in the fellowship who was my peer so to speak I would not have given it as much wouldn't have been as much of a problem but it was a problem simply because like she said I was her pastor right and she was a member of my congregation in in a sense right that's what made it a bit of a challenge we were good friends right we were really good friends by this time we had gotten to become really good friends but that official designation of pastor right? Created a bit of a challenge from from from an ethical perspective, if you want to call it that, you know, taking advantage of somebody in the fellowship kind of concern. And then you want to he would want to be sure that I feel the same way and I'm not responding or agreeing just because you remember back in the day, you know, once a pastor said it, it was like God had said it. So he Yeah, those that that was the challenge. Yeah, that makes sense. I mean I so what I'm hearing you you guys say is obviously just any takeaways be friends first. Yeah. Yeah. Um okay I'm not prescribing friendship first. Okay. Sorry. I'm not it's not a prescription for everybody. Right. Right. But what I have found Yeah. Right. Is that friendship is a critical component Yeah. of a successful marriage. Yeah. Some people are able to develop it after I was going to say if you weren't friends if you you know if that wasn't where you started from intentionally consciously develop it's harder and I'll tell you why it's harder. Marriage is a very interesting it's an interesting relationship in the sense that you're trying to do life together with somebody and you're making decisions with somebody. You have a different perspective. They have a different perspective. Right? So it's very conflict. It can be conflict prone. It's hard to make be friends with somebody who well you know what I want us to vacation in Scotland. You want to vacation in South Africa. Right. And we those things can become quarrel. Yeah. Right. The feelings of hostility sometimes they linger. Right. It's hard to be friends with somebody who you're not friends with when that happens often. And it will happen often. We're going to we're going to have to make decisions about money right off the bat, right? About the wedding, right? Oh, couples, the wedding, right? Wedding. You know, there's so many conflict. There's so many landmines. Yeah. That can make friendship difficult after the fact. It's not impossible, but it can be difficult. It's easier to be friends when the stakes are your decisions don't affect me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like you want to blow your money. It's not my business. You want to save me on my business. You know the stakes of our relationship very low. Yeah. But if you know there's money on the table. Mhm. Right. Right. How do we spend it? Yeah. I can vibe with you if all all those other things. Yeah. When it's just vibes. It's just vibes. When it's just vibes, it's easy to be friends. But when it's like my money that I have worked hard for or my family that I love. Yeah. Right. Friendship gets a bit more high risk. And then a lot of us get pregnant, have had a kid to the mix and then all Yeah. Yeah. I take it by apologize. You're not pres You guys are not prescribing that you have to be famous. You're just saying that man. M strongly recommend. We would strongly recommend. I would urge you, okay? Right. I would urge you to consider a romantic relationship with somebody you already like. You see, you can love somebody and not like the person. We see that all the time, right? You can you can Yeah. Can you expand on that a little bit? You can have very romantic inclinations towards somebody, right? But you just dislike the way the person does, which is so insane, right? And it's a weird cuz you would expect that like and love go together. It's like a lot of parents I know love their kids but many parents don't like their kids don't like their I tell you they get their kids go get they're less nervous right I I I like I let me put it like this people I love I behave in a particular way right it's not necessarily emotional it's it's it's it's logical I'm dealing with them as per scripture people I like yeah I choose them over and over and over not because I have to. Yeah. Cuz I enjoy their company, right? So my kids, I pay their school fees cuz I must. That is my obligation. I feed them cuz I must. That is my obligation. But if I want to relax and I want to go out to dinner, I don't want to see them. Right now, I'm fortunate that if I want to go out and my kids are at home, right, I would say, "Hey guys, you want to hang out?" "No, no, we don't." "Okay, then let me find someone else." Cuz I like being around them. They make me happy, right? You can be in a marriage and you're there and you're fulfilling all the obligations, right? But if you're not in that marriage, you will not want to hang out with that person, right? You will not want to have conversations with that person. And even now that you're in the marriage, those conversations are tough. Yeah. So it's reduced to us talking about the things we must talk about. Yeah. Right. Which is why with with our kids for instance, we have like this sometimes three four hour conversations with them on the phone or they come home and we're up on the rooftop just hanging like 3:00 a.m. better as a parent than having kids. We like our kids, right? You know, I'll sit down with my daughters when they come home and we'll have drinks together. You'll make dinner for them, you know, watch TV together and it's not obligation cuz they have friends. It is cool. It is cool. Now if you are with your friend right and there is tension right it is easier to have conversations right with your friend cuz you want to go back to having fun right if you're with your friend and it's easier to be vulnerable with your friend it's easier to be to be trusting with your friend it's easier to be feel safer safer with your friend right so so basically got your back I see one of the problems with marriage right is that I don't know what you're thinking, right? You don't know what I'm thinking, but if I trust you, right, it means that I trust that whatever it is you're thinking is is good for me, right? Um I don't know a lot of things, but because you are my guy, right? And that I mean, you're a guy, right? You know, before I can call you my guy, it takes a minute. We've been through stuff. We've been through stuff. You you stood up for me. Yeah, you show me that you had my back. There's some people that we can laugh for 6 days. I will never call them my guy. I say I know that guy. He's a good guy. But this other one know my guy. My guy without my guy without If you come at say ah Larry slap somebody for for road say my guy slap the person. It's not an you're not it's not an endorsement. Yeah. You're not saying this person is perfect, right? But flaws are all this is my person. You've seen their flaws, right? And you you're you're you've made an educated guess to an educated decision to accept acceptor. Now you get married to somebody who doesn't have that track record. Yeah. You don't know them like that to you that they have your back, right? They've never had to prove to you that they are your ride or die. No shenanigans, no history. But they when they walk in a room, you get butterflies. You know what I'm saying? At the end of the day, right, those relationships. Yeah. Because again, we're we're going into a potentially beautiful thing. So, there's a lot of potential and a lot of hope, but we're also going into a potentially land a field full of landmines, right? I would rather go into a field full of landmines with my with a friend with my my guy, right? With my guy. So if he takes a bullet for me, he doesn't worry because he know take a bullet for him. But when you don't know the person like that, and many of us are married people we don't know like that. Right. When bullets are flying more, what we've seen is everyone takes cover. I'm telling you, people people do it like literally they they take cover. Now, the longer the longer the marriage lasts, Yeah. God, by the grace of God, the more opportunity for those friendships to develop, in the sense that guess what? Now, I'm getting to know you. Mhm. Right. I'm getting to know you. Um I'm getting to know um that yeah, you're my guy, but I know your habits. Do you understand something? I I know the things that make you laugh. I know the things that irritate you, right? I have a friend who if you if you tell him a text in the morning and you don't say good morning or you don't say how far or how now he's he gets irritated. Yep. Right. I have somebody like that too. So annoyed. But you know I know that about him now. So when I send a message I say good morning all formalities and observe. Are we okay to continue? No. You know what I do? I I first send the hey have you seen blah blah blah and then the second text that be good morning you know like I'm just trying to mess with you like cuz the first one you see is they didn't greet me then you see I greet you after no that person right for me that's funny it's a quirk right someone else might find that thing extremely irritating about that person right but you already married the person but that is who they are right you're married to the person you have to live with the reality that they will not engage with you without certain protocols. Observed observed. When you then add cultural differences, my wife goes that do not talk to me in the morning. Mhm. Before 10:00 a.m. 10 a.m. 10:00 a.m. 11 is safer, but but definitely not before 10. Yeah. It's a new thing. My wife, on the other hand, when you wake up, I wake up chappy. She wakes up choppy but but she's not coming out of bed. Yes, I'm chili in my bed when I open my eyes. When I open my eyes, when I open my eyes, his feet hit the floor. Hit the floor. I don't do that. I snooze my alarm. Like if I need to get up at 7:30, I'm going to start snoozing from 6:30. Those little habits, those little habits, he used to get on his last nerve can be very annoying. Right. Right. And if you don't have any history with the person, those habits can define the person. Yeah. Before you find out lazy before you find out used to think I was a little lazy and I think you were I didn't think you were lazy because you had shown me over 2 3 4 years that you were not lazy. Why did it get on your nerves? It's just it's just irresponsible. How do you wake up? Mercy. Wait wait wait wait lazy not lazy but irresponsible. I'll take lazy please. Against irresponsible but but I'm saying no but you have to address it. I find it irresponsible. I find it lazy but it doesn't define her. Do you know why? Yeah. Because when I do get out of that bed, part of part part of what I'm doing is just charging my batteries. When I get out of that bed, it is going annoying because she's doing too much. I I need to I need to charge my batteries. And this is one thing that people don't sometimes understand. If I don't know you, I'm learning you. Yeah. Already I've already married you. And if I'm learning you in a high stakes environment, if I'm learning you over disagreements, Yeah. I'm going to have a negative impression. Yeah. And everything I do with you is going to flow out of that negative impression. And a lot of marriages don't a lot of people don't realize that their marriages are struggling because they formed an opinion about their spouse and they're dealing with them out of that opinion. But that opinion was not formed in good times. that opinion was not formed without pressure. Whereas with friendship, you the good times are the baseline. Yeah. So then there's something to always remember. It's kind of like couples who don't do like long distance, then they get together and because they've been long distance, the first thing they do is get pregnant cuz they're like, we've been married 2 years, 3 years, whatever. Now that we're finally together, you they already feel there's a delay. Yeah. And then personally, big mistake. Cuz then what happens is you then have this hormonal hangry. In fact, I can I can tell you I can give you a a story. Yeah. Fact. I know a guy and and a girl, right? They um they didn't even do long distance. They didn't know each other. They've known each other for maybe what three four weeks, maybe a month or two months. Yeah. They felt the Lord had um and the Lord said the Lord said and I'm like slow down, slow down, man. The Lord said and they get married and she gets pregnant on day one. Day one, man. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, we have so many couples the honeymoon she comes out from home pregnant. She gets pregnant on day one. I'm sure the first time they had sex, she got pregnant. Okay, cool. But but you know, like a lot of couples, they start off without money, right? Well, guess what happened? No, some of us don't. But you know, a lot of couple Yes. I didn't say you said a lot. The way you said it makes you I was going to say that I think you actually started off that there was something defensive about that. See what then happens. See what then happens. Right. So there's no money, right? She's pregnant. Hormones, right? So I don't know you now. I'm dealing with you always. Yeah. Anything. You're crying. You're angry. You're you're you can't get out of bed. You're throwing up. You're ill. You're sick. That was my first experience. a liability, right? Yeah. And then it feels like a liability that so so that's why correct I said it feels like so she does not so she's so she's not on her best physically right presentation wise emotionally emotionally yeah things are spreading she's not on her best number two he has no money so he's not on his best right yeah and guess what guess what he doesn't have money he's not on his best wife is pregnant he doesn't have money you're a Yeah, you know that is for a guy high stakes pressure for a woman anxiety. So guess what happens? They turn on each other. As I'm even hearing the story, my anxiety is rising. Yes. Like so every decision is coming from fear. Yeah. Right. And anxiety and each day they're experiencing this version of And you can't escape cuz you're married now, right? They're experiencing this version of themselves without any other version in the bank. Yeah. Right. They don't have This is all I see. This is all I know. They don't have fun, happy, kind version. They just have cranky, angry, moody, silent version, right? The marriage doesn't last a month because I realize that I am married to I feel like I'm married to this crazy woman. Yeah. Right. and she's thinking she's married to this crazy guy. Yeah. But at the end of the day, what happened? She takes off back to her family and never comes back. Life life happened before. It's like when the wind hits a building, right? Before the foundations have set. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Nothing wrong with the building if it had the foundation. Foundations. Yeah. And what happened to the child? I'm just curious. Well, the child has grown, but they're divorced and now it's a it's a problem. A co-parented issue. They're not co-parenting. a very contentious because again all I've ever known of you is yeah yeah I there's and that's why I always would like people so I think you're I don't think you're a good person quote unquote you know I don't think I know my experience of you is that you're not a good person that's not like to to your point that's not the truth truth but those are the times that's the point right I I my knowledge of you is based on my experience of you right or if I don't have a good experience of you I have a bunch of people who can say no no she's not like that no he's not like that then I have then there's a bit of a conflict but in this particular scenario nobody knew the both of them like that to be able to say to vouch yes so two strangers strangers to each other get married with good intentions I'm sure and they're good good people at least the the one that we knew personally good good good people I don't know how we got on this topic but I do want to go back yes sir because to that point. We have Mama Mary's allpurpose seasoning. We have the low sodium option and the regular. U Mama Mary's allpurpose seasoning is a Nigerian inspired mix that can be seasoned that can be used to season what exactly you can use to season your soups, your steels, your rice, your meats, your relationships, your relationship with God, everything. Mercy, everything you can season it with it. And how do they order? You can order off Amazon using our promo code of PF summer 10 for 10% off. That is PF summer 10 for 10% off. So my husband actually used um the seasoning this past weekend. He made some stew and it was so good. Um he used he actually used the low sodium option and so when he tasted it he was like, "Oh, this is really really good." And I was like, "Yeah, buddy." And I was like, "Which one did you use?" He said he used the low sodium. And I was like, "Oh, that means like it still has a good amount of taste to it even though it doesn't have all the salt." And so, um, yeah, the options are really great. Um, go and get your Mama Mary's allpurpose seasoning. PF boldly got on his podcast on his podcast and said that he does not believe or it does not make sense for men to get down on one knee and propose. I knew you were going to go Pastor AK. So, we need to hear. This is one of the things when I heard you on the podcast. I was like cut caught like so so let me tell you a couple of things about about PF and he you can agree to disagree let me tell he he PF likes to be contrary no P likes to be contrary we're listening we're listening I'll tell you don't undermine my position not not at all I'm not I'm telling you he likes to be contrary I I will say I will say so I'll tell you where where the the truth is this it doesn't matter matter how people start off. We've been at weddings where we all cried. It was like, you know what I'm saying? When I say we all cry, thank you. It was like, you know, it was I mean, like, oh my god. Yes. Like the you could see the birds. No, no, no. I'm I'm I'm going away. Don't I don't want I don't want you to to whitewash. I'm not white I'm not whitewashing you. I'm telling you. I've known this guy and I've been friends with him 30 something years and married for Shout out Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. and married for 27 and a2. Okay. Yeah. So very It's not necessarily the quantity of the marriage, it's the quality of Yes. Also, we've been we've never done any I think the most we've been apart maybe 2 3 days. Wow. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Well, Vienna when when I had that maybe a couple a few weeks then I was gone for like 3 months. That's impressive. I was gone for three months. Well, oh yeah, we were married then. That was like in the very beginning. You know, I'd actually forgotten about that. It was now we was already born. Yeah, but it was when a little early. We got my 1998. D was 1999. If you watch go, we're just watching you guys. So, wait, wait, let me finish. Let me finish. They asked me the question. Let me finish. So, the point I'm trying to make is this. I did not get down on to propose. I don't No, he didn't. No, no, no, no. Oh, was that what you wanted to know? Essentially in the in the previous Yes. So, so like like we said, like we said, the proposal was not planned, right? It was very Did he ever do it? Did he ever get down on one knee? I don't know. Let me tell what I've been both knees. Wait, let me let me I don't know, guys. No. So, babe, let me I have the floor right now. I need to explain to her cuz she didn't I don't think she understands my point. So, I No, that's because she was trying to explain. If you ask me then you can you can come back and and essentially what you were trying to say is like it's not it doesn't matter how you guys are started because it really what actually matters is the process of what you guys are going through right and a lot of people do like these proposals these marriages the wow factor things and attach so much importance to them and don't do the things that actually matter some of the things that we've talked about I I'm going to be 1% with you PF did not I don't remember him getting on on so for the actual ring. For the actual ring, it was my birthday. So, it had like this, you know, huge box of stuff. Funny enough, I thought it was a teddy bear. That's what was so funny about it. And then, you know, those boxes and boxes and boxes and then you get down to it and it was like a little box. So, I opened the box with the ring myself. Yeah. And even if he had thought, which also, don't forget, this was 30 years ago, people weren't really doing the Guni thing. Um I was too busy like screaming and you know jumping with the ring for us to be you know I would say in Nigeria nobody was doing the getting on the ring but in America people were getting on their ring. I mean getting on their knees. Wait now let me finish baby. No no no no no. Yeah you have to be patient. You have to be patient. But I will say this. I will say this. if you if you and and you made me lose my train of thought for a second, but so at the end of the day for us, the whole, you know, getting people to get a proposal, we didn't do none of that. It was a very private and honestly, you also have to know the person you're dealing with. I would not have wanted a public proposal. I'm I'm really not even being on camera today. I have to like be praying in tongues all day cuz I'm not that kind of person. However, however, there there are things that PF would say in a contrary way because that's the principle of it. But there are some of those things that he will do. It's not about doing it or not doing it. If if at if at that time listen for if at that time PF thought it was important to me for him to do the one he proposed, PF would have done it without blinking. No, I'm telling you what I know. No, I'm telling you what I I'm telling you what I know. So now you can be contrary if you like, but I'm tell you that whole thing. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? I wasn't on that whole coming around to the car which even I think is a little ridiculous. PF opens doors for me. PF and I have been out the whole day to and do you know because I knew this question was coming up I I marked it every time I stood in front of the open door. However, if I stood in front L listen though if I stood in front of the door and was like open the door waiting for him like he we will not go through that door that day. That's what I mean by his contrary. That's what I believe. Yes, that's what I believe in equality. M right. I believe that men equal rights. I believe that men and women are equal. I believe that my wife is my partner. Right. And she deserves all the respect and all the honor that I deserve. Yeah. But I also think it's a two-way street. Right. I do not believe in anything that makes me feel less and I would not offer her anything that makes her feel. That's the truth. when those s those things the the kneeling down and all of those things that men have to do right to um to to get a woman are many times subconsciously the things that men are trying to reverse by dominating after they get right all those little things that those things that we do to belittle a man to get him to they forcing you to forcing him to chase chase her that chasing you know that putting to get him interested in you. When he now catches you, he wants to reset. He wants to he wants to correct. He wants to say, "Okay, now you are my wife. Before I was your boy, I was chasing you. You answer my call when you like, you would treat me like, you know, like I'm disturbing you." Now we're married. I am the head of this house. Yes. Junell. Exactly. Yeah. And so I I personally do not subscribe to anything that makes anybody less cuz human beings the things that gone in the back of our head even we don't always know. We might not some of those reactions are subconscious. This make me feel small and I and I swallow it because you know what that's what society says. Yeah. When I get a chance right I'm going to assert myself. I'm going to assert myself. That's what I think. Now me personally, my wife knows this. If you stand in front of a door and fold your hands, wait for me to open the door. I will not open. That's what That's what I'm saying. However, however, if we're walking together, right, the door is heavy. You are my wife. I'm stronger than you physically. It's a fact. I will open the door for you. But you now stand there like it's almost like an entitlement. Yeah. No, no. You feel like your heart you have broken. But I funny enough and if I'm carrying something Yeah. and you expect me to put down what I'm carrying and still open the door for you. But why would you do that? I would I would No, people actually require that. That's madness. I don't understand that he's carrying. Shouldn't you open the door because the person is carrying something? You would think that is where that's why you think okay but oh I didn't know the culture. So can I say something that may spark of I'm not sure if I should speak but let's just Okay, let's all right. The funny thing is that some of these things are are cultural things because because at the traditional wedding No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. At the traditional wedding, the women No, no, no. That so a lot of these things are cultural things. Now, the guy kneeling down to propose may not be in Nigerian culture, but what some of the women some of the the thoughts I've heard women throw around is kind of because at the traditional weddings, the women kneel down to give the guy the drink. Yeah, I've experienced that. Yes. So I the on a cultural level if we don't attach stuff to it, right? There are now a whole band of women who are refusing to do the kneeling down to to give the man the drink because again really? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. No, it's on on You probably don't follow like any kind of Nigerian social media. I do a lot. Oh, really? Okay. Let me not hook you up with some of them because they probably Vicky James right now. I follow Vicky James Niger designer is not she's not messy on that. She's not that kind of in fact Vicki Vicki is an is an evil thing really don't do it. No, we do. When when when they say go and meet your husband at the top, you get down on your knees and then you open your hand for money. You knew that was not I'm I'm not you know after after the woman comes out she does the introduction for the husband for the her family husband's family when she's now going to meet him. There's this part where they say um come and get money from your husband in a sense. So she goes and she gets on her knees and she's like dancing while she has her hands open and he's like putting money. I'm going to say from the videos I've seen you have seen women I don't know I culture culture is very crazy in Nigeria because all the different tribes do before she kneels down to collect money for him he has knelt down for her father and her parent has double legrated for them but not not for her yeah not for her though not for her but again right thank god I've done it one time and I'll not have but I for I I think I think at the end of the day some of these things at a you knew that proposed your wife pastor our producer you knew that proposed to your wife okay really I know I know people are showing their must have no no high five me I want to be with the boys don't baby I didn't for nothing apart from that it's it's about it's some of these things like I said they're cultural if you are in England. No, hold on. A lot of these things are cultural and the thing about culture is that they have different connotations. So, um I don't want to get bogged down. I'll just mention this and we can move on. There are things in Hebrew culture and Eb culture again you have to be careful cuz the next EO village is doing something different. There are things in EU culture that are not a problem because everybody understands where the culture came from and what it signifies and they treat it a certain way. And if it's EO people in that place marrying each other, there's no quarrel because everybody understands where it's coming from. The problem with the way the world has shrunk is that you have cultures and people don't even understand where they're coming from anymore. And so it's the connotations are things that have no bearing our own. Exactly. Exactly. So, so whether you're kneeling or not kneeling down now becomes a thing a subject to European. Exactly. The western person could watch that Euroba or Ebo culture be like ah no why is so did you see just like me and man be like to your wife where you can bring a few tubers of yam to her father and and be done with it even her sister too. Yeah. So, so I saw this thing, right? Um, there's this video I saw where where the during the bridal dance, a wedding, a wedding, one lady gets in between them and starts trying to dance with the guy and then they kind of are trying to pull her off him, but the bride was laughing. And so when the video came out, everybody like cursed that woman out. And then people who are from whatever tribe, some East African countries, said it is a thing in their culture. It's usually the guy's cousin or family member. And then they they have to kind of like give her money or something for her to go away. So that's why the bride was laughing because it's something they're used to. Now without cont by the time you were done the stories were like all kinds of baby mama jealous whatever sh thing and and I wanted to highlight something because I'm seeing a lot of like similarities and I think we've give PF his flowers. Thank you enough. No. Well done. He mentioned something in in a few episode before about morality and righteousness and how what is right in a particular place could be immoral somewhere else and it got a lot of like for it but I'm seeing what you guys mean given this example but one thing I will tell you sure difference having done this being married this long being friends this long and having done marriage counseling and premarital counseling for about 30 years now one thing I would tell you right is We keep making things that are not the main thing the main thing and that is the biggest problem. I will take a guy who I don't lay down in bed, turned next to me and said, "Babe, how about we get married?" Right? I will take that and treated me the way he's treated me the last 30 years. Than a guy who, you know, flew in on a helicopter, had rose petals, you know, across the Empire State Building, uh, what's the other thing they do where you have the plane ride, will you marry me, whatever, and then treated me badly. And I have seen that. I think the the assumption is that you know you're going to get both right you get the guy who's going to you know jump out of a parachute on the ex will you marry me and also treat you would be nice so jump out the parachute land on the X yes do on pull out get the talks and and then give you a $2 million ring don't forget the price of the ring ready for Instagram in England pastor was telling me this the proposal is in England they don't even do the just nailing down the whole flying family from everywhere. It's now they've made it a cultural thing in England where the young people in fact with some of my uh my nieces and nephews it's been like they already like we're planning the wedding and then they keep saying they haven't proposed and so one day that's how this topic came about. I asked him I'm like wait I'm confused like we're we speak wedding date like he said oh no they haven't done the proposal. So again culturally for them it's it's what we used to call an engagement party. M that's how I figured it out. So they have family and friends coming then they do the big proposal and then there's a party afterward and people flying from all over. So it's an engagement party but now the proposal by then they I mean we've we've already picked colors we're doing a there's married already now. Yeah. Well I I think I think you know my me saying I getting down on one year and all of that thing right. I I just it's a personal thing right. Um I I feel like they're little symbols of equality, right, and inequality that society has um has permitted, right? And sometimes we need to be careful, right? I if you want to kneel down, please get down on one, get down on two, stand on your head. It's all good, you know. I just person right after. Please do right after. Do right after. Don't Yeah. You know that thing I said about morality and righteousness and and and I just need to make that point. Right. Culture Yeah. is the way we do things in a particular people group. Yeah. Right. And some of the things that are important to us in that particular people group, right? Mean nothing in some of them. Yes. Right. Even down to sex. The way some cultures look at sex and the way other cultures look at sex. You put the two of them together and they're like, "You people are crazy. You are mad." Yeah. And they're like, "No, you're the ones that are mad." Yeah. Right. The way we dress. Yeah. What is considered immoral in one culture is considered expediency in another culture. Yeah. Remember in South Africa when your folks were in Mosmbique the first time we went to church and every it was summer and everybody's wearing shorts and cam is with spaghetti straps. I was scandalized. What are you talking about? We used to wear three piec um what's it called? Um it's a new name Swati in Swati. I'm sorry I don't want to butcher the name Swatini. Come on. Let's give you I don't know. They changing. Where was like like what do you mean? Am I Am I sure talking about the king every so often takes a new wife, right? And all the maidens, right? The eligible maidens, they they they show up for this event, right? And they're only wearing skirts. Wait, what? So you can know what skirts, no tops. So you in 2025? I don't know the last time they did it, but I've seen it. I kid you not. Google. No, it's fine. You know, I'm hearing the story of Esther. That's what I hear. That's what happened. At least that's what Esther was was way way back. Sorry. You know, wait now. Wait. Story of Esther. I'm like what we talking afraid she means the reason why I said this reason why I said this is this right clarify in esotin right they don't think nothing of it their breasts are out right and I'm talking about young women I'm talking about old women young women right the prime of their of their god so he can know what he's getting so he knows who so he can choose right those people don't think it's a moral immoral wait they don't think it's a must he's messing with your mind But even the choosing is not even he's not using the wife for anything other than that. You can't judge the culture. I'm not judging the culture. I'm just saying like the choosing today is thinking that him and the wife are hanging out shooting the breeze. Now it's possible that he has already chosen somebody but she she joins the crowd. Okay. Okay. That's she joins the crowd of women and then he chooses her out of that crowd. Okay. Right. But the point I'm trying to make is that nobody in that culture look at all these girls straight off their breast. They're immoral. Now you do that. eh in uh ex go directly to jail. Do not pass gold. Do not in decent directly to jail. The the buckle of the Bible belt, you're going to hell. You're going to pass jail. Go. Actually, I should have said go directly to hell. No, but you're going to jail. For sure. For sure. For sure. No, I get it. I get especially if they're younger girls. So, we we we will sit here. H right. And that's why God God says kill everybody there. Killed everybody. Kill their goats. Kill their cows. Kill their wife, their children. Kill everybody from that particular group. And they say God is immoral. Because if a man stood up and said kill everybody, we'll hang him. We'll put him before a firing squad. We'll hang him. Right? And that is why I was making that point about be careful. Right? morality at a certain point can become can be a cultural thing, right? And even marriage, the way that we do marriage, the way that we do marriage in the Bible, you you see Abraham took, you know, his wife Sarah and he knew her, that's the wedding. That's it. If they decide to do a party a week after, that's their seven day part of Nigeria. Yeah. Very different culturally. Marriage is very different there. I'm from the western part. and from you know marriage is different typical example we Bible then becomes our standard it's standard for everybody so we're not doing it the Hebrew way or the way we're doing it according to the word of God are there mistakes absolutely do we have to fight sometimes against our upbringing because our upbringing is cultural absolutely right but ultimately yeah the yacht stick is not what they doing in how you feel about it in Africa Right? The theatic is scripture, right? And so when I talk about things like certain things, right, I'm talking about from a cultural perspective, but from a scriptural perspective, the Bible says, "Submit ye to one another." Yeah. And then it goes on to say, "Wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord." And husbands um love your wives as Christ laid loved the church and laid down his life for the church. And if you look at both things, basically, it's just different ways of saying submit to one another. cuz I mean don't get more submissive than laying down your life for somebody. That's like that's literally like give it give it all away. How do we get here from asking whether I nailed it down? Honestly and and this is PF so Okay. So you guys you guys but but just to kind of like I know we're about to close and pastor AK I a thousand. Thank you. We're definitely going to bring you back. That's the game. We have so we have so many more questions. Did I nail down or did I not nail down? No, we have Well, now that we've addressed this thing, we can move on. Are you satisfied now? You I'm very I'm very satisfied. She has avenged me. She's good. And and J, just to the to the to the audience, if you're listening or you're watching, like if you have any comments or if you have any questions, you want to see Pastor AK again, you feel like this is the most vibrant BF has been, you know, put it in the comments and and and you know, let us know. Um, I do I do wanted I wanted to because you guys are talking earlier about like friendship and the benefits of friendship and what that looks like, you know, like and I was I kept thinking about like God. Mhm. Which is funny. You both pastor a church. You're both trying to usher like us into this. When I say us as a congregation, you're trying to usher as many people as possible. Yeah. Right. Into that love that Christ has for the church. I'm thinking as friends like you saying about being your guy, right? Like if God is my guy and he looks past he knows me I guess he knows okay these are his quirks but I still write for him. Yeah. I wonder why why do you both think and this is too close that we don't reciprocate that to God in a sense like when I say reciprocate at least for me from a personal standpoint like God is my guy and he loves me unconditionally and whenever the roles are reversed I feel like like I know he's my guy PF says he's my guy pastor says he's my guy on the pit but when it comes to the actual rel like the friendship are you living like he's your guy is your friend not just the guy you pray to meet your friend day to Yeah. I don't Maybe it's just a tuna problem. No, I I don't think it's a tunic problem. I think it's a very common problem. I think I would say one of the things I I think has uh kind of bled into that is again cultures and traditions of men. I read somewhere about how tradition is literally peer pressure from dead people. Damn. Yeah. Where did you hear that from? I don't know. But that I thought that was people say this how it's going to be done. They die. they're gone. Circumstances have changed and we can't go back and have a conversation with them like mommy this this can't work no more. So it literally peer pressure they we're being pressured to do things a certain way. So I feel as though culturally and traditionally Christianity has been presented to us in a certain way. If you read the story of the prodical son or God has been presented us in a certain way. And so if you read the story of the prodical son the first time I really really read it it messed messed up my mind. two stories that mess up my mind. Actually, three. One was the story of prodical son. One was the one where the thief that was next to Jesus was being hung literally was the first person to get into heaven on Christ. When I told my daughter that like again it blew her mind. First person to say because of Jesus like you know literally and Jesus was promised him that today you would be with me in paradise was a criminal that and he couldn't have been a small time criminal cuz you don't crucify small time criminals. So he was a criminal, right? And then the women that were in Jesus's genealogy, you know, um, Rahab the Harlock, you know, um, Batshiba and the other two. So, Tamar, I think, was one of them. The point I'm trying to make is if we, if we really study the word, really unpack it the gospel, the good news, right? And start to replace what the Bible actually says with what we have been taught and the even the things that we weren't taught, but it was kind of implied. I think we'll get to that place where that friendship and that um that oneness with Christ that that I mean the Bible says while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. So he didn't die for you as a friend when you were, you know, a friend when you were good, when you were when you were his guy. He died while you were yet in sin. And then when you read the story of the prodical son, the things that blew my mind is the fact that a dad was saw him used to walk out and look for him and then the dad ran to meet him, kissed him, put a robe on him, put his signate ring, his, you know, literally his seal of approval on him, you know, threw a party, you know, killed the fatted calf because his crazy son who had blown his inheritance had come back. Um, I think the key to fixing that is really starting to really study the word, starting to really read the gospels while rejecting all of the the dead people's pressure. Yes, people pressure. I I think it's who am I that you are mindful of me son of man that I would consider me? You have made me lower than know if you sit down and think of all the things God has done for you, right? Not all the things that he has not done. Let me phrase that. The one or two things he has not done stacked up against all the things he has done. You'll find out that he's your guy. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. But we focus on the one or two things. And we focus on it from a place of I need to do A B CDE E F G H to get those one or two things. Right. M it's hard to think of him as your guy, right? You think of him as a benevolent dictator, an arbitrary desperate, right? If I settle him, it will not be tight. Sorry, PF. We're going fine to start using desperate something desper. Did I miss it? The despot. There's not that big. Well, maybe like those kind of dictators, you know, like Oh, I've never heard that word in Oh, I even missed it. Oh, no. Actually, yeah. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know what I did know what desperately is. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Flor, I apologize. I I was thinking sorry seeing God as Sorry. No particular this guy. What says that we need to stop seeing God as that guy who sitting on the throne in heaven checking to see if you jump through all the hoops before he does anything for you. We need to remember that he gave us his best while we were still in that pastor. And he said, "How much more will I not fully give you?" Like these are his own words. Those are his own promises. Yeah. It's it's it's it's truly peer pressure from dead people. Yeah. You know, and if we can free ourselves from that and follow what the word of God says. Yeah. Can't but think is your Bible says if you and you shall know the truth and the truth that you know will set you free. You you it's impossible to get freedom without knowing the we need the truth to literally kick out the lies. That's where freedom comes from to really I for me the epiphany was when I kept thinking why does this thing that is called the good news always start by saying you know what I'm saying it never sounds like good news when there don't sound happy it's like you know if you don't you and the truth is all of this God will punish you all of these things are there but the reason the reason why Jesus died was because God doesn't want to punish you you know what I'm saying He literally did everything he could to make sure you don't experience that punishment. It it makes it very clear that's not his desire for you. You know, that was where my journey into you know what and by the time I got I got to really studying that story of the broadcast son. I was like you know what okay it looks like you want to say something. Yeah. She's tried to usher us out. So please go ahead. So I mean it's just one last thing and it's um you know to close us out. What's your um favorite date night spot? um that you guys like to go to? I think I don't think you say we because it's is different. I shouldn't have asked about this food. I'm surprised you actually know better. Listen, we've established the whole episode. Have we not established that PF and I are chalk and cheese like I don't know rice and ste forgotten like completely different. Okay, but I will tell you mine I won't even attempt to speak for him. There's this place um it's something springs in it's on the colony. I don't know why I can never remember what it's called. It has like 46 different pools. Yeah. And they're not sponsoring us. Don't mention any. Can we can we Why can't we be graceful? No, we can be graceful without after. Hit me up after if you want to go. It for me it's it's that's my my funny enough for date night. Has Pastor Feb been? Yeah, he took Oh, he should go. Wait, wait. No, no. Essa Esa, it would be very problematic if I'm doing date night with somebody. I just wanted to get clarification with your kids and you know I I literally asked for date night but I was just confused that he's going I I wasn't understand. It wasn't I wasn't comprehending. Yeah. So that's he's he he took me there date night one night and it's my I love it. So I've had him take me a couple of times. Funny enough when I took time off for today that was that was what I was pushing for. Yeah. But this was great too. That's really nice. So we went out earlier, but that that's my ideal. Great. It's like three hours of his undivided attention. You can't do nothing. There's nothing to do. You just literally from one pool to the other, you know, they bring you drinks and food to the pool lounge and we talk and they have like a salt floating pool. It's very relax. Lovely. Oh, they have 46 springs. So they have hot springs, cold springs, middle one, salt ones. There literally 46 different kinds of pools. It's a great place, guys. It's in the colony. It's a spa place. Yeah, I love it. Even though they're not sponsoring, it's a good place. Go to the place that is good. Don't wait for them to come to Go to them. Maybe we'll ask them to We need to get Are you getting paid? It's a good place. Somebody needs to pay. Have you been there? I have. Oh, that's why. Okay. What's your What's Yes. Same place. What's she saying? All right. Yeah. All right. I don't trust any Okay. Anyway, thank you so much, guys, for uh Yeah. Like, comment, subscribe, share. Appreciate you. Um, and then we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye. Peace. [Music] Unfiltered. [Music]