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At at age of four, I was a victim of child sexual abuse, so that went on for like 80 years. And then, so I totally lost control of myself. I couldn't pastor a church because I had a PTSD from watching my church take my father away from us. And so, I literally when they wanted me to go to seminary, I ran away from home and I never came back. You know, truth is not truth in Africa. Truth is dependent on who is saying it. Yeah. So, if someone is not popular, you know, is pushing the truth that is actually true, people are not likely going to listen to him, you know. So, they will listen to an old error that is being perpetuated by someone that they consider to be man of God or something like that. Unfiltered. Hey, welcome to another episode of PF Unfiltered. My name is Femi Omatayo. Um and I am PF. By the way, PF is short for Pastor Femi. And this is an unfiltered session where we just talk and um from uh talk from our hearts, right? Without worrying about being politically correct and, you know, and conforming to whatever expectations uh people may have of us. We just speak from our heart. We keep it real. Um we keep it 100, right? Awesome. So, today we've got a uh uh uh a fantastic guest with us. Um his name is Praise Fowowe, a globally recognized speaker and author. He's a leading voice in transforming family dynamics in parenting and relationships. He's originally from Nigeria. He has dedicated his career to reshaping outdated, useless cultural perceptions, helping thousands of families build a healthier healthier and more fulfilling relationships through this innovative network that he created called family um systems engineering. Recently, the guy received a prestigious president's lifetime achievement award. I thought they give that to only old people. But, you know, he's a young guy. Um it was given to him by the former president uh Joe Biden for his global impact on family wellness and child advocacy. Now, whether it is through the powerful books he writes, the groundbreaking talks, or a very hands-on consulting, Praise is somebody who inspires young Africans worldwide to rethink love, marriage, and parenting beyond traditional boundaries. And I pastor a church of young people, right? Who are in the particular demographic that you speak to. So, we thought it would be a great idea if we could have you come and talk about these things cuz I can tell you that these topics uh love, family, marriage, parenting, they are at the forefront of on they they are at the they're topmost they're top of mind for many of the folks that um that attend the church that I pastor. So, um let us dive into what I'm hoping will be an exciting conversation with the man himself, Mr. Praise. Thank you very much uh Pierre. It's so good to be with you here, and thanks for all you do. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for thanking me. I really appreciate that. So, let's just jump right in, right? I don't want to waste your time. I know you are busy, probably have some um consulting to do or something. But, you've become um what's the word? A global advocate, right? For for healthy family dynamics. But, I think it's important that people have context. So, let's start with your personal journey, right? I know you grew up in Nigeria. Yeah. Was there a particular moment, or was there a particular experience that um that was a catalyst for your passion, right? Um for transforming family life and relationships. Oh yeah. Um growing up in Nigeria, my dad was an Anglican priest. Um so I lit- literally grew up in the vicarage. So you're a pastor's kid? Yeah. And so I recollect that whenever my dad um was meeting with his clients, I I mean with church members, I would go there and try to, you know, interject and um you know, give my word of advice and then he'll give me a knock and say, "Hey, when adults are talking, you keep quiet." Right. So I had a question in my mind, you know, because the families I saw around me was a kind of family where father had every right and every say. Um probably he would have six mates, you know, and every other person would have to, you know, scramble. I mean, the most painful part would be for you as a child when they have to serve chicken and then daddy has like six of the parts and then they'll give you the leg, not the thigh. All right. sorry. It looks like you You really like chicken. You know, and you're asking yourself, "What offense did you commit?" And then you only get the leg? Yeah. Yeah. And you couldn't even talk to you couldn't raise your voice or talk about it. So um that was on my mind, you know, growing up. And um when I got into uni, okay, before then, I at at age of four, I was a victim of child sexual abuse. So that went on for like eight years. And then so I had totally lost control of myself. And then when I got saved on campus and I was in year two, um I knew I wasn't going to practice an accountant because I was studying accounting. So from that moment, I couldn't change my course back to psychology. So went into the library and I started studying, you know, African beliefs, uh studying um anthropology, studying sociology, trying to kind of understand why relationships were the way they were. So I was the guy on campus that the sisters on campus and my fellowship would come and ask if a guy was asking them out, they would ask me to help them analyze the guy. And then the guys would also come to ask me for tips on what they can say to the ladies and so that that was me. Um so when I left school, I wanted to come and do a master's in America, um do family science, and then my father died. Um you know, and when he passed, of course there was no way I was going to fund that. And um so it was almost as if the dream was gone. And I told myself I wasn't going to practice an accountant, so um when I was stuck I got stuck I started thinking of what I could do. So I felt a bit about um doing something differently, you know, so I wanted to find out why marriages worked and why marriages collapsed. So um my mom had a prayer meeting that used to attend, so I asked her if she could introduce me to about 25 couples who had done 40 years and above in marriage, all right, to figure out okay, how did their marriages work? And I was talking to the ones whose marriages had collapsed, you know, and so I found about 25 people in that category. And then so I went to interview them, asked them randomly to How old are you? Then I was 23. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I I was asking them what made their marriages work. And a lot of them think No, they were telling me it was prayers. And I knew a lot of prayer warriors whose marriages collapsed, you know, so I knew that there were things they were doing unconsciously that maybe they didn't know. So I asked for permission to study them over a period of time. And then so that period I taken a certification called neuro-linguistic programming. With neuro-linguistic programming you can actually build a framework on how to understand human behavior. So I deployed that, and so I was studying them for like 11 years. And then so I was building a framework from what I was seeing. And by the time I built the framework developed a psychometry, and then just kept Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop, stop. You said neuro neuro-linguistic programming. Okay, so so I'll tell you guys something. I'm a philosophy student, not science. He just confused me there. And this is unfiltered, so I have to bring him back. I say, "What is neuro-linguistics programming? And what is psychometry?" So neuro-linguistic programming is like a is a hybrid of psychology. Okay. Right? Where you can predict human behavior by understanding how people grew up, their environment, and the significant emotional experiences in their lives. I got you. Right? So, so so it's it's very very huge globally right now. And then so psychometry is like a set of questions that you can answer that someone can interact with and accurately predict what is going on with you. I see. So, I built that psychometry and everything and I kept it because I wasn't sure people were going to buy cuz that period in Nigeria, people wanted foreign certification. So, if you even if it was nothing, if you say it was American certified or UK certified, our people put money there. So, me I kept it. I didn't I wasn't sure they were going to buy what I developed and so I that period Dr. Myles had come to Nigeria and so That was a long time ago. Myles Monroe. So, I had spoken to him and then he just said, "I will praise our doctor to you as your as my son and stop." So, I finally was able to travel when I I had to sit with him and I showed him what I'd built. I was like, "I want to come to America and, you know, partner with a university or an institution so that it can carry American certified we can take it back to America Africa and sell it." Then he looked at it and he said, "Oh, no. That what you've done is really unique and original and I think that you should take it back to the market. You will grow slowly but eventually it will catch fire." That was his word. So, reluctantly that period I started writing for this day newspaper and then people were I mean my column was one of the most read and then so a couple of people were doing family life in Nigeria were either pastors and so when they saw how people were warming up to me, so some of them came to meet me to ask if I could teach them my model. So, I told them if they could put themselves together in a room that I would teach them 8 hours every day but then it would take us like 7 days. Right? And so, they put themselves together and so I taught the first set and it was groundbreaking I can imagine. That that sounds like uh uh an experience because what you just described as neuro-linguistic programming I didn't have a label. Yeah. But it's something that I have started to discover. Mhm. That every time you meet a person if you understand or know where they are coming from Yes. their background, their experiences, their traumas, their successes, it is very easy to almost predict how they will behave in different scenarios. Absolutely. Patterns are predictors, right? So let me ask you a question. Yeah. There's a question that people ask all the time. What is the major determinant of a person's behavior? Is it nature or is it nurture? I I think Nature as in Yeah. the way they were born and nurture as in the way they were raised. I think it's a combination of both. Okay. Give me Give me numbers. Percentage. I think it's mostly nurture. Nurture, you're right. Right, because What percentage do you put to nurture? Sorry to cut you. What percentage do you put to nurture? I'll say nurture will be maybe like 80%. You guys, man, you need to be more respectful. I didn't do neuro-linguistic programming and I've been saying this that nurture is at least 70% of who you are. It is because I mean if you if you give birth to a child in Nigeria and then maybe got kidnapped and you took him to China and then he spent like 20 years of his life in China, um he will most likely not even practice Christianity or practice many of the things you the difference in this between a pastor and a scientist? Me. When I describe this neuro-linguistic programming, first of all, I don't use the label. I say train a child in the way that he should go. Yeah. And when he is old he will not depart from it. Right? The way that we are raised determines the way that we behave. Absolutely. I mean it's because um so in neuro-linguistic programming they say that your bringing your environment and your significant emotional experience Uh will play Help somebody, Jesus. a major role in who you become. Exactly. Right? So when we build the family stem engineering model, we infused that into it and say if we understand um you know human behavior, we can actually predict." And that's why when we eventually build our model, we stopped sitting with couples because before I came on board, what was prevalent was couple would come in and then the counselor would sit with them for 2 hours listening to them. I saw my father In fact, that was one of the reasons I couldn't pastor a church because I had a PTSD from watching my church take my father away from us. And so I literally when he wanted me to go to seminary, I ran away from home and I never came back, all right? And so literally we built a model that ensured that if you run that psychometric run the psychometry, you know, without listening to what the two of them had to say, I could literally 96% accurate on what they were dealing with including what they have not even shared with each other, you know? And so that was how I started out in Africa and before I knew it, students from other African countries started coming, you know, to take the course and you know, it was pretty tough because you're dealing with strongholds um culture on the pulpit. Sorry, when you say strongholds, are you talking about spiritual strongholds? Are you talking about mental strongholds? Mental strongholds because you know that So it's not about binding and casting, it's about transformation. of cultural Christianity is what we practice in Nigeria, you know, where Were you in Bible study you ended in a Bible study yesterday? Okay. And you know, a lot of people you know, a lot of people teach on the pulpit, you know, culture as scripture. Yes. Right? And And they form and they form doctrine out of cultural experiences have no basis in scripture. And you know, truth is not truth in Africa, truth is dependent on who is saying it. So if someone is not popular, you know, is pushing the truth that is actually true, people are not like they're going to listen to him, you know? So they will listen to an old error that is being perpetuated by someone that they consider to be man of God or something like that. Chris, are you teaching any more of those classes on neuro linguistics because I think I need a certification in neuro linguistics. But they neuro linguistics. I mean it's available. I mean, it's uh you know, so you can I I I I I I Some things you know innately. Mhm. Right? And then education fleshes it out. Right? So, I think I need the fleshing out of these these things. Let me ask you a question though. When you're running the psychometry, right? It is based off of information that the people provide. Yes. But what if some of those emotional experiences that have shaped them are beyond the reaches of their memory? Yeah. How then do you correctly analyze them? So, we can actually analyze some of these things because the the psychometry I created uh about four of them, right? So, I can look at one and feel You know, it's like when you go to the to do your blood work, the doctor can look at some of your results and feel that something is off here, right? And so, even when people lie, right? I can even talk about them lying. Talk about them actually not knowing. Yes. So, so so you there's a way there's what we call for example, if I run your personality assessment, there are variables that will show up that will show me that you are manifesting pseudo personality. And we see that a lot in firstborn children of African descent. Tell me about this pseudo personality. Since since I'm a firstborn a firstborn child. You and you manifest a false personality that is not real. And usually it happens because for what is what, I don't know where the parents got the notion that the firstborn child must turn out right, must be the leader of us. So, they put a lot of pressure on the firstborn child to conform to a particular behavior. So, he's not able to fully express himself. So, when you find out, let's take for instance, a firstborn female um child. So, when you see a firstborn female that is yet to get married, if you ask her for the history of relationship, you will find a pattern. And the pattern is all the guys she's meeting, she's trying to mother them or be their mother or take responsibility for them. So, she's buying them cars, she's giving or sending them mail, she's taking responsibility for them and they eventually they usually leave. Now, that behavior was a learned behavior conditioned into her by the people that raised her because for what is what, being a firstborn um, female, they will punish her for the misbehavior of her siblings. So, she's learned to take responsibility for the responsibility of other people. And then she brings that on she's become unconsciously competent and bring that into a relationship. And the same thing goes for the female for male that has to be, I mean, to train all the siblings and and whatever you. So, that weight, you know, literally destroys who they are, right? And so, they begin to manifest the dual personality. So, the other there's the adult, there's the child in them that didn't have a lot to grow. So, the child is upset with the adult they become, and that can manifest in various ways. In some In some cases, some mental health issues that they don't even know where it's coming from. In some cases, some patterns, some anger, um, fits of anger, and then people are wondering, "Oh, this person is like this." They don't know that this thing was conditioned into them. So, the psychometric is able to pick these things, and then we're able to ask the question, "Okay, did you go through, um, some form of trauma?" Some of them will tell you, "Oh, I can't remember going through trauma." And so, in our intervention, there is, um, level two of what we When people When I'm working with people, the second thing session I do with them usually is to take them back to childhood to say, "Okay, can you look for five people that knew you between ages zero to five?" And ask them, "What were the things they can remember about you?" Then look up another five that knew you from six to 10, 11 to 16, 17 to 23, no, to 22, 23 to 30, 31, and above. And so, by the time they come back, you can literally see who they were. So, you'll see things like, um, "When you were less than five, you were everywhere, playing everywhere, scattering everywhere. From six to 10, you were like that, but then from 11 to 16, you became very quiet and then chill." Now, and then from that moment, you realize that next to that, they become an introvert. So, we want to check what happened between 11 to 16 that moved you from an extroverted person into an introverted person, right? And so, sometimes they will tell you they can't because there is a level of trauma that you don't even remember. So, what we do is we begin to try to juggle their brain for them for us to play back what had happened that they may have buried, right? So, for example, I'm asking, "Um can you remember the primary school or the elementary school you attended? What was the uniform? What was the color? Who was your favorite teacher? Um who was your best friend?" Right? So, by asking those questions, you are taking them because everything that You're You're trying to start memories. Yeah, everything that happens to you is actually stored in your unconscious mind, right? So, we try to Let me ask you a question. Yeah. What if what happened to you happened before you were born? Before you were born? While you were in your mother's womb. Yeah. So, when that case happens, right? Um I mean I and I've had that um experience with quite a number of people that um what up In fact, we've had cases where what happened to some people happened to them before age one and they can't remember, right? But then, the patterns will show that something happened. And you know, the thing about abuse or trauma is that whether you remember you don't remember, it doesn't exempt you from the effect, right? And so, if they can't remember, we focus on the pattern and the behavior and say based on this behavior, something had happened and we But what if what happened is not abuse or trauma in the sense that it wasn't that something negative was done personally to you? But the circumstances of your conception to your delivery to your birth to your growth created adverse an adverse environment for you. Does that also not impact you in ways that could almost be as if you were personally traumatized? no. If you know, the the the the a child in the womb can actually secondary trauma from the mother can be passed to a child in the womb. So, for example, you have a child who um when she when was um conceived, the mother was facing some kind of abuse from the father or from family members. That trauma can actually be passed on to the child. And because they literally that's why sometimes women would tell you that when they're pregnant, you know, when they play certain music, the child is kicking. Because the child is responsive to I mean, and that aligns with scripture as well. So that can happen. And so that's why sometimes we take history to say, "Okay, is your mom alive? Is your father alive?" Can you ask these questions? And let's know what what's going on. Yeah. Okay. So so let me ask you a question, right? You've identified in in in some of your books and workshops certain common problems that relationships have, relationship pitfalls so to speak. Can you share one traditional belief, right? One traditional belief, something that a lot of couples bring into marriage from their cultures and traditions that is very detrimental to marriage, particularly for young Africans living in the West. Um, hm, there are quite a number of them, but I'll talk about um, the first thing No, no, no. Men I mean, this is a fundamental belief that is taught everywhere. Um, that um, men are logical and women are emotional. Yeah. Right? And um, that's a very That's one information that has defined a lot of and destroyed a lot of marriages, you know, because um, every human being has logic and emotion. The one you have utilized is the one that becomes very pronounced. Right. Right? And so naturally with that belief and because it's propagated from the pulpit, right? A typical guy expects a an emotional wife. And emotion would mean that she does not have capacity to stand her ground and insist on what she wants and call the shots in some areas. think. She can't think and hold you accountable. And so if she holds you account it will And if you add that to the one that they say the first need of a man is respect, the first need of a woman is love, right? And so, and respect will mean don't argue with me. Right. All right. So, you get married to someone and then you don't expect the person to to maybe go against what you're doing. And when she does that, you begin to You hear things like, "Why you behaving like a man?" And so, you find out that a lot of our men Right. they always run away from assertive ladies, strong women because In fact, they say it's a myth that they say they say she's not married because she's always behaving like a She's too opinionated, right? And I say, "No, it does not why she's not married. She's not married because um she has outgrown your culture, but then she's still hovering around those cultural men, all right? And and that has destroyed a whole I I see that all the time, you know, when uh people come and there's what we call culture compatibility test assessment that I actually developed, right? That when people run that culture compatibility test, you see a whole lot. I mean, things are And that's why, you know, when our people have marital problem and they have to go to um you know, let's say therapist that is non-African, right? And then they're working with them for like 7 years. I'm like, "What are you doing?" It's because they don't understand the cultural background. For example, they're not aware that things like who cooks is a deal breaker in some homes, you know, that I didn't see my father cook, so why should I In fact, let me shock you. I was working in the UK um April last year. And we discovered that 48% of marriages that hit the rocks in the UK attributed to its unreasonable behavior. And 90% of them were new immigrants who just got into the UK. What unreasonable behavior? Unreasonable behavior is guys expecting their women to still be doing everything they were doing in Africa when they crossed over here, right? Meanwhile, the system in Africa you have a lot of support. How here you don't have. So, when you have a a where somebody believes that a woman is emotional and the man man is logical. So, when he sees his wife manifest logic, he can't deal with it. Right. I I I I I The way I frame it is that men are comfortable expressing anger and laughter. Mhm. We're not comfortable with expressing hurt. We're not comfortable with expressing more complex emotions. And as a consequence, and that is because society has framed it, like you said. Yes. So, if you are feeling any kind of emotion that is not angry or that is not happy, you suppress it. Yeah. And so, you start to think that you're not emotional, right? And when a woman expresses herself in a rational and logical way, it becomes problematic because you feel like like you said, she's trying to be a man. She's trying to usurp your authority. She's challenging you, right? And what you then have are people who are not able to be their authentic self. Yes. And because you cannot be your authentic self, that suppression of your authentic self eventually bleeds out into your relationship in ways that are toxic. Absolutely. I mean, and you've you've said it rightly. And because a lot of people can express themselves because their authenticity has been suppressed, even by their parents. Yeah. All right. Um people can't stand the fact that you're a human being, Yeah. all right? So, we're framed to be human doing and human things, all right? Instead of being where you can fully express yourself, including your mistakes, which is part of what makes you human, Yeah. all right? And so, and it's because of the way every An average African, for example, has a terrible relationship with shame. And it was because of the way shame was taught to us. I mean, if you grew up in Africa, most likely you went to the proper primary school. In Africa, if you scored zero, instead of the teacher to take responsibility for the fact that they couldn't teach you or to master or you've not mastered it, what did they did do? They would bring you forward and they ask people to sing for you. Yeah. You know the about that. Oh, you you know the yellow module. And then, embarrass yourself. Embarrass yourself. And so, if that was done to you, right? And then maybe you are someone you are observing that was done, you will learn to cheat. You will learn how to do everything, you know, to succeed. you know, this thing you said, right? I I I personally believe that the foundation of the dysfunction in our society, particularly in our government, comes from the way that we have been raised. Yes. I do not think that Nigeria, for example, cuz I'm Nigerian, so I speak from that experience, is the problem of Nigeria is leaders who are Nigerians. Our leaders were raised from among us. from among us. And if you look at our upbringing, our upbringing many times, particularly um um um I I think particularly the western part of Nigeria is very focused on suppressing Yeah. the authentic self. Yeah. You are valued to the extent that you achieve. Yeah. You receive love and affection to the extent that you achieve and perform. Yeah. Your parents don't say I love you. They will be friendly with you when you are achieving and performing. Yeah. If you are not achieving and performing, they ignore you when your behavior is benign. Yeah. And when your behavior is negative, they punish you. Yes. So, you only hear from them positively when you are achieving and behaving well. Yes. So, we have been conditioned as a community to achieve and behave well, Yes. in quote. Yeah. Now, over time, what achievement means has changed. Mhm. There was a time when achievement was when you were in uh in elementary school, achievement was your performance on your grades. Secondary school, grades. University, grades. Come out of university, money. Mhm. So, you start to value yourself, right? You start to see yourself as valuable to the extent that you have good grades, to the extent that you have money. Right? That you have a big title. Right? And so, we we value ourselves, we evaluate ourselves based on how much money we have. Yeah. And so, I've said this before, you will never find a Nigerian who is rich and you don't know. Mhm. They have to let you know somehow that they have money. Because if they don't let you know that they have money, even when they are dressed very simply, then you will not attach any value to them. Yeah. Somehow they're going to drop it. Oh, my child is in school in in Harvard. Even though I'm dressed like Yeah. I don't have a dime, but you have to know that I'm paying Harvard school fees. Because that is where my value is. And if I am not valued, I will be disrespected, I will be dismissed, I will be diminished. Right? And I will be totally irrelevant. But irrelevant is not the word. I'll become I'm less than human. Yeah. In our society. Yeah. I can be killed, and nothing will happen to the my killer. I can be mistreated and nothing will happen to the person who mistreated me. But if I am seen as having value, in short, if I'm seen as having money, then automatically I'm elevated to the status of a human being. Yeah. So, I must get money by any means. Yeah, and that's that's what has defined By any means. That's what has defined you just described. So, when you see a behavior of when they say, "Oh, this guy um his love is transactional, his love is conditional." That's how we were raised. And a lot of them ladies say that, "Oh, this guy, you know, he says he loves you, but then he's loving you for what you have." They don't understand that that was how I was raised. That's how And that's how she was raised because she's assessing your love based on how many bags you bought her. Yeah. So, so they don't know that this thing is this one, and that's why I believe that if we have to solve this problem, we have to go to the family and change the family system. I think we have to go even further than the family. We have to go to the child. Yeah, but but the child is from the family, so you know. But if I had money and God permitted me to go back to Nigeria, I imagine that I would start a school where I would take us I feel like you it's hard to change people who are a certain age. Yes. By the time a person is of child-bearing age and having children, they are locked into their behaviors. It takes a lot of energy and resources to get them to change. And when they are not clear on how to behave, they will they will fall back on their default behavior, which is the way that the way it is. So, and I know this is just is not practical or possible. But imagine if you could take a child, right? from the age of cognitive ability, Mhm. right? And raise that child in an environment that is loving, that is affirming, right? Challenging, right? Um inspiring, but where a child has value, sees value in him or herself simply because they exist. Yeah. Not because they have good grades, not because they greeted you good morning, not because they swept the compound, but just for existing, you have value. You are loved. You are affirmed. You receive affection. You receive affirmation, right? And raise that child in that kind of environment Yeah. through to university, Mhm. right? And then release that child into the world, right? The parents of the child have to sign an agreement for their child to enter that school that they will correct their child when the child is wrong, of course, but they must affirm and validate the child's humanity on a daily basis, right? Mhm. What would our society be like? Well, you you are describing something that I don't well, like you You said, it's not realistic. Um however, it's doable, all And I always tell people, you see, I don't like to be in control of the things that are within outside of my reach, all right? Pastor Femi, you pastor a church, what you're seeing is possible within a church system, right? Where you can literally, you know, help people have a blueprint from start from the time you're pregnant, there are classes you're taking, you know, you are attending sessions, there's an entire curriculum, you know. challenge is this, that Praise, is that you will always come up against the rigidity of our culture. Yeah. Right? Many times we're not preaching scripture, we're preaching culture. Yeah. So, before Pastor Femi, there were seven other pastors Yeah. that I've worked with them. That have taught you Yeah. and affirmed Mhm. and set in concrete Mhm. the idea that a child should not receive any affection unless the child is performing at a certain level. Yes. And when the child, for any reason, slips below whatever arbitrary data point you have set, you start to compare the child with other children. Yeah. Right? So, you say, "Look at your friends. Look at your brother. Look at your cousin. Do they have two heads?" Right? And so, it's almost like you're swimming against the tide. Mhm. Right? And many people result to their default. Mhm. Right? And they see Let let me let me describe this. If a Nigerian says to you, "Oh, Praise is doing well." What do they mean? He has money. Yeah. Yeah. So, people feel like there's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with the way that I was raised because I don't assess myself on the quality of my marriage. Mhm. That's my wife's fault. Mhm. Right? I don't assess myself on the quality of my mental health. What's that? What's that? I'm okay. I'm not mad. I'm not naked on the street of Yaba. I assess myself on the size of my bank account. So, why should I raise my child differently? Right? From the way that I was raised. Well, I I think that I mean, having worked with people and this is my 24th year in the sector, I think that is changing and I mean Are you changing with the with the Nigerians in the west or with Nigerians in Nigeria? Across board. Oh, fantastic. Right? And that's why I'm an advocate for building a tribe. Right? That you can't change save everybody. Uh like where maybe like four of us are in the room, we can say because Africans say it takes a village to raise a child. Just that the definition of a village must now change. So, Pastor Femi has these values, I have these values, we have like five other people have the same values. We can start a meeting and say, you know what? This whole idea, we're going to implement it together. We all have alignment, right? And then because the thing with our people you have to understand is if anything is trending and it has shown that it's working, our people are quick to copy it. Right? And so, someone has got to build a model and I I mean, I always say every time I talk to pastors that the African pastors in the diaspora are the best placed to do these things because naturally, the African man looks up to God, but he looks up to God through his pastor. Right? Well, you haven't been to my church. My church people, they're a different breed. They're they're they're they're blessed in Jesus' name. But then, you you still have You Pastor Femi, you have an authority. An authority No, no, I'm just The authority you have is the fact if I call a meeting on a Wednesday evening and say, "Oh, I need a lot of you to come for a meeting on Wednesday." They're not going to listen to me, right? But I mean, I was at your Bible study on Wednesday. I was shocked at the number of people I saw, right? So, we need to learn and and like we we have talked about it. You have the facilities, right? The African family can run an entire curriculum that the children can interact with and can produce an outcome. The Indians have done it, the Jews are doing it. Why can't we do it? Right? Because for me, I'm very practical, right? And that's why I don't speak a whole lot. I would I would have gone ahead to build a model and test it out. That that's how it works for me. So, I believe that we can't get everybody to do this, but you can create a hybrid. You can create and a a group and say, "Okay, this is what I mean, I went to Ajegunle, for example. I I saw prostitution in Ajegunle, all right? Little kids prostrate I mean, prostituting, all right? I was very upset and the Holy Spirit said, "You can do something about it." And but some of them I started working with them, I realized that the more I took them out, the more other people went to replace them. And so, I created a meeting to say, we call it going in the slum to prevent them from going. And we had to work with 480 young people. Some of those people those young people some of them couldn't even read and write when we started those meetings. Some of them are PhD holders today. PhD holders. So, I always believe that if we create an intervention, we can't save everybody. No, you're right. You you're right. And and what I have tried to do is within the context of my within the sphere that God has given me to share these things and to encourage people to um to to to call it out. To call out the dysfunction. Mhm. Right? And to point out that God does not assess a man on the basis of his material Yes. responsibilities. But I'm very conscious that young people have a bit more of a a desire to or an innate need to question authority. Mhm. Right? So, I have to say it with a little bit more with a bit more subtlety. Mhm. Right? But we are seeing the change. Yeah. One of the things that happens and maybe you can speak to this that I that I said to the folks around me is that when your children ask you why, don't dismiss them. Mhm. Don't shut them down. Don't shut them up. Answer their question. Yeah. Give them the dignity of your time. So, give them the dignity that you giving them your time Yeah. communicates. Give them the dignity that you answering their question communicates. Don't dismiss them out of hand. Because when we were going up, and we laugh about it, ah, heh, you are asking why? You collect slap. Right? And so, when kids ask why, we get ag- get aggravated. We think it's inappropriate. Mhm. But really, when you shut them down, what you're doing is you're shutting down their curiosity. It's actually a trauma response for many of our people, and they don't understand that. Please tell them. Um like, you know, in parenting, we always say that there are different milestones. And what usually happens is we don't respect our children as human beings. Right. Right? We see them as things. They came out of us, so we have absolute authority over them. And control. And then, so we control and suppress them. And so, we cannot handle the the expression of the authenticity because it reminds us of what life took away from us. And so, you hear people say, I they beat me, so I must beat you. And things like that. And so, that's why I always believe that we need to deprogram our people and then help them heal from In fact, there's no class I run that we don't deal with trauma healing. Because if people are not aware that they have a Like you rightly said, I mean, some people tell you, what's wrong with me? I can basically feel I can do everything. So, I mean, this child I'm And I'm like, it's not just about your money. Right? What are you modeling? Do you even understand the different milestones in the life of a child and your role requirement are those milestones? And then, they're looking at me to say, oh, what are you talking about? Right? And but then, I think that it's something we need to begin to push because, you know, the interesting thing is that in um by 2045, the African population is projected to be the youngest population in the world. And so they said the the backbone of the entire workforce of the world is going to be built around the African young people, right? And so the worry for me is who is raising them? How are we raising them? What values are we passing to these young people? Because if you don't tell them who they are, right? It becomes very easy to become susceptible to all kinds of things. Because every misbehavior in a child can be traced to two things, a non-remembrance of self or a non-discovery of self. If a child does not know who he is, he's going to mess up. If he forgets who he is, he's going to mess up. So we tell parents that whatever you're seeing in your child that you don't approve, right? It's the society challenging the identity of your child and trying to give your child another identity. So your job is to remind your child of who he is instead of throwing tantrums and getting angry. So when you say remind your child of who who she or he is, how do you do that? Do you say Don't you know whose child you are? No. Or do you beat that I will show you that in this house? How do you remind your child? with the way your family is structured. I mean, I think family systems. And so when I'm working with families, husband and wife, and I ask them to write their family vision out. They don't always write the same thing. And that's where it starts from. They don't write anything? They try to write something. They will tell you they have We have an event, sorry. We have an event coming up tomorrow called Pillow Talk. It's um um it's our marriage ministry. And one of the things that I have said consistently over and over and over is what is the vision for this marriage? What is the vision for this family? Where there is no vision, the Bible says people cast off restraints. That means that we're winging it, right? We don't have a plan, we don't have a destination. We're going from day to day to day without any sense of achievement or purpose, right? I said to husbands, you ask your wife to submit. Submit to what? What is your plan? What is your vision? What Where is the space for her talents, for her giftings? Submit to your arbitraryness. Submit to your your plans for self-aggrandizement. Right? What is the vision for this family? If I'm following you, where we going? Yeah. And you said this is a premarital conversation that should have happened, but you don't also blame the men because they don't even know how to how to create a vision. And that's these are the things I don't assume. We practically have to teach people these things, right? And that's what why I take time to teach people this how to cast a vision. Because if you don't incorporate the desires So, this is what usually happens when when people divorce have disagreements in marriage, right? You just wake up and say this is the vision for the family. You don't sit down with your wife and plan and talk. So, what I usually say is that okay, if all your dreams can come true for the family, what does it look like? You guys write different things, right? Then what you have written is what you incorporate. Then there's a step process, a five-step process by which you can actually create and curate a vision that is actually inspiring that everyone can create. Because with your vision then you can create values, then you can create a DNA creative of your family, and create your routines and ritual. Without those things, you can't build any family, right? And then you now have what is called the perceptual code of your family, right? Because every family perceptual code. Perceptual code is the descriptive word that defines who a citizen of a family is and how you see them. Give me an example. So, for example, if you say every Omo Taiwo is dash. What is that dash? If you say every Omo Taiwo is a royalty, right? And so it means we must carry ourselves as royalties. We must treat ourselves as royal. So, if you say everybody in this family is a royalty, and the royalty is doing something you don't approve of, do you shout? Do you scream? Do you beat a royalty? You know you can't beat a royalty. There are other ways of getting a royalty to remember who they are. And so you have a conversation. And so if you have taught everyone that okay, we're royalties and it will determine how your house is set up, it will determine how you guys eat, how discipline is meted out. And because our people don't even understand discipline, uh which I'll come back to that. Now, when you say that, say let's say every child is a royalty and then the child does something that is out of order, the first question you're asking is who are you? He says I'm a royalty. Okay, you're a royalty. Do royalties do these kind of things? He says no, so why did you do it? You having a conversation because any change that is not self-initiated cannot be self-sustained. Right. What our parents did was to run a home like barracks. Yeah. They gave you 210101 commandments that you didn't It was dependent on daddy's emotions. And when daddy does what is wrong, nobody can correct him. Are you joking? Correct. And so our people needs to know the difference between discipline, domestication, and punishment. Right. Now, discipline is a Latin word domesticatus means to raise, to groom, to help, and to disciple. And I tell Christians that if you don't even understand any of these things, at least you know discipleship. If you met a young believer who you have preached to, you have tried to follow him up after 3 months, you now catch him maybe you catch him where he's smoking. Do you bring koboko and wire him and beat him and strip Some churches do that now. Well, but you know that You didn't know that. I know I see it. But you know that that's not the typical thing you should do. You remind him, right? As newborn babies desire the sincere milk that you may grow thereby. You remind him of who he is. And that's actually how to discipline, right? But then There's "Spare the rod and spoil the child." What does that mean? Okay, so I'm going to come You know that's not in the Bible. What the Bible says is bound in the heart That's an English thing. It's out of the child. It takes the rod of correction. The child is an indefinite article. It didn't say Please tell us, tell us. even specify the rod of correction. So I say to people that to a people have been through slavery, whenever they hear the rod, what comes to their mind is koboko and all those things, right? But to a people have never been through that, when they hear the rod of correction, it can be communication. Because the Bible talks about the rod and the staff that comforts me. What kind of rod can comfort? That cannot be koboko, right? And so a lot By the way, for those who are not of African descent, koboko is another word for leather whip. Yeah, right. And so the other thing is domestication. Domestication is a Latin word domesticatus. It means to tame and to clip wings. So every time our parents say to us, "I'm going to clip your wing and tame you in this house." It was domestication, it wasn't discipline, right? And that's because with your child is going to be fearful, right? Your child is now going to, you know you do to wild animals. Yes, it's going to be manifesting through our personality. Then the third word is punishment, which is Latin word punire, which means to inflict pain or to avenge, right? And that is what we call discipline. So you're going to beat a human being. The Bible says, "My sheep hear my voice. The voice of a stranger they will not hear." If you are my child and you can't hear my voice, then there's a problem. But the big problem is this. We have no respect for the child. And this is what I tell say to parents. So some of them complain that, "Oh, you know, my child does not listen. I will tell the child I will give him five things to do. He doesn't do all those things." And I'm like, "You cannot raise a child thinking like an adult. Do you even understand the realities of their generation?" Mhm. To say, "When you were growing up, probably you didn't even know so much about the pause button, right? And so if you have played the game that these children are playing, the Genesis and the Gen Alpha from this year now we have Gen Beta, right? If you play the games they are playing, the game has pause. They can be playing three games simultaneously because they can pause when So it's the same way they do household chores. So you give three things and then so he starts laying in his bed, he gets, um, you know, tired and then bored. He pauses it. He goes to the next thing, right? And you don't understand what is going on. And so you come and you say, "You know, you have not done anything." You begin to shout and you begin to scream. And if sometimes when we want to call the child, we assume the child is doing nothing, right? And so we just call him out of maybe it could be a game he's playing and then we are upset at his throwing tantrums or his body language is not and it's because we don't understand the psychology of the child we're dealing with. And that's why we say that you can't be a child's teacher without first of all becoming a student. You have to assume or come to the conclusion that you don't know. And if you know that you don't know, then you will learn because see, raising a child is not difficult if you understand where your child is, if you understand what your child is dealing with. In fact, there is a new fear we are tracking with African kids called the fear of growing up. A child gets to that level, his grades stops starts dropping from the standard you have set for him, and then parents begin to say, "Oh, it's because you have gadgets." It's the fear of growing up. That's what we find out. What is fear of growing up? These children see the way their parents toil, combine two jobs, you know, get stressed to make money. And they are looking at that future and they That's not the future they I don't I If this is what being an adult is, I don't want I don't want to 15-year-olds believes that let me be 15 forever. So, I don't want to celebrate the next birthday. Right? And that is real. But parents A child is dealing with something parents are interpreting something else. Right? If you don't accurately interpret a child's behavior, you are going to be dealing with him and miss, and that's what a lot of us do because we don't cry, we don't even get help. Everything that a child does, right? If it's a behavioral problem, what we believe we must do is we go for deliverance. If it's uh something you are looking for, everybody seems to have one prophet, you know, that they that is not licensed to understand the problem of a child that they believe they can call someone in Africa and the guy can tell them what to Oh my god. Our our prophets. problematic. Are you damaging a child? Our prophets. Talking about prophets. Sorry to interrupt you. I had a conversation with somebody yesterday who is a 33-year-old woman. Right? And the question she was asking me was how can I draw boundaries with my parents? Mhm. Demanding that I do this and I do that when it is not in alignment with my values or my belief. I find that a lot of us as we get older we're still in a place with our parents that does not reflect our agency. Yeah. You know, we're still obeying instructions from our parents. Yeah. Whether we're married or not. Mhm. And the basis of that when we want to kick against it is they quote scripture, Mhm. honor your father and your mother. Yes. And I say that there's a difference between honor and obey. Yeah. I'm called to honor my father, Mhm. not obey my father. Those days have passed. I am a father and by the grace of God anytime from now they can tell me that I might soon be a grandfather. The other day I was driving I was I was in my car with my wife and Pastor Lanre, one of our pastors at New Covenant House. And my father I I don't know why he he did this face WhatsApp video call. And I answered the call with the video on and I had I was driving and there were three people in my car. And my father for the first time in a long time saw my face and he saw that I had a beard. He said, "Femi, what's that on your face?" I said, "It's It's a beard." He said, "Eh, ah." "Ah, what what kind of beard is that? You have to go and shave it." I I said, "Daddy." He said, "No, no, no, no, no, no. You You go and shave that beard. I don't like it." I said I said I said I said, "You do realize I'm a 54-year-old man, right?" So I said, "You know what?" Cuz there were people in the car. I said, "I'll call you back." So I cut off the phone. The man wrote me a how many page letter? Yeah. Basically instructing me Yes. to go and shave my beard. Yes. And I'm like, the heck? Yeah, it's because we don't know when to we don't know the So, the final stage of parenting is release. Yes, we don't know when to release or how to transition. is not taught to us. And so, we believe that we own the And that's why you see in Family Summit in Nigeria, our definition of marriage is slightly different. We say that marriage for family marriage is coming together of a man and a woman from two different nations to come and create a new nation that will promote the best interest of all and those cultural give our world rest. So, with that definition, it says that you are coming together to create a new nation. And if you are creating a new nation, there's what is called the sovereignty of your nation, which is So, you need to protect the territorial integrity of your nation. So, you have to define the citizens of those new nation. The citizens is as you, your wife, and your children. Yeah. Every other person are the people maybe you have given permanent residency or visiting visas to. Thank you. Visiting visas. Visiting visas is actually what they have. So, they cannot come and dictate, you know, how you because they always assume, you know, Africans naturally we intrude. They assume that they know what you're trying to do. But, if you have told them that this is a vision of our family, this is what we're trying to do. When they come to live with you, you are taking them through an orientation program to say, "In this family, this is how we operate. This is how we work." So, that you don't feel upset when maybe you want to watch TV at 11:00 p.m. and someone says, "No, no, no, we don't do that here." So, what if they're telling you from from Africa that one prophet said you should drink this oil and mix it with salt in the morning and then the afternoon mix it with sugar and at night MSG. And well, for them to be having that conversation with you also says a whole lot. Right. Right. I always tell people before you get ever get married, you need to cut off either ties from the apron of the controlling forces that are in your life, right? A lot of people never draw that I mean, I I've had situations where I mean, I had a case where the mother-in-law came to the house and told the her son that, "Why is your wife still sleeping in the same room with that they have little children? She should have her own room." And the guy literally packed the wife's things out of out of his room, and Is it a lie? I'm telling you, right? And so, I had to By the time they were telling me this story, you know, I looked at the man. I was like, "And you did this?" Mhm. He said, "Uh, you know, there was no way I could have said no to my wife." So, I asked a question because I knew something must be wrong. So, I asked the wife. I said, "Do you guys When you guys go broke, do you still collect money from this woman?" She said, "Yes." I said, "That's why." I said, "So, if she's the one funding you, right? You guys don't have colonization, right? So, you have to report to Oh, parental colonization? That's a new one. You know, in families then, we have a lot of So, we have what we call domestic terrorist, all right? Domestic terrorist is anyone you have permitted into your family that is upsetting the peace of your family. Are you a domestic terrorist? So, and so, when I ask people, "Who, you know, aligns with that definition?" and then they're looking at me and saying, "My mother-in-law, my father-in-law, you know." And I say, "So, we don't negotiate with terrorists. You have to find a way." Because people are never able to do those things, and you don't understand that you're going to upset the system you're trying to build. If you go to the UK, you cannot say that they are driving, you know, from left to right in America. You have to drive that way. No, you have to align. And that's what our people must learn to And that's why I tell Africans in the diaspora that we might just be the first generation of new ancestors in Africa, and we have to do it right, or else Nobody can I mean, my mom called me today, and because we're Anglicans, and was telling me that uh There's something I want to say to you. I hope you won't be upset. I said, "What is it?" They said, "Um, your children, they are yet to do baptism and confirmation." Mhm. I said, "Mom, I don't attend Anglican church." He said, "But they will still That is our I said, "That's not That's your heritage. That's not my heritage." He said, "Well, I know your own." Because she knows how I'm going to respond to those kind of thing, right? But a lot of our people, they don't Even when they're Christians, they don't have confidence in their relationship with God. Like I always tell people, see, there was a time they were seeing vision for everybody around me, you know, and I asked my mom, I said, "Why How come nobody sees vision for me?" My mom said, "You They know you." I said, "Hey, they know me? What do you mean by that?" He said, "Because they know where your stand is." Their vision you won't answer them. Yeah, your vision has got to be a confirmation of what God has been talking to me about. It cannot be out of the because I have a relationship with God. But people don't have that relation and they don't try to build that relation. So they outsource their communication with God to some external forces, you know, and you see what our people do. And that affects their ability to take a decision that is in cons I mean, I know someone that they a prophet told in America he just bought a new car and he said he must not drive that car that the car will kill him and he parked the car. He's paying uh what's it called now? He's paying Yeah, on And I was like, "What's wrong with you?" He said, I said, "The person seeing this vision for you I said, "How come they don't see where you're going to make $1 billion? How come is the wrong thing?" He said he said, "Which is who can use their witchcraft to better their own life?" Yeah, I said, "They're just manipulating you." He said, "Hey." I said, "How can you be in a in a developed country and someone is saying I said I'm almost ashamed that you are we're having this conversation because we shouldn't be having this conversation." At this stage. You know, I said, "Go and drive that." And such I I showed him from the scriptures, right? And the guy said, "Well, really?" I said, "You have been listening to the wrong people, right?" And I said, "You know what? You have to take away your life from this and now start hearing word of faith and start hearing new creation reality so that you can understand why did Jesus have to die if you still have to be bound by Please, please say that again. Say that one more time. One more time. Why did he have to die? Thank you. If you still have to be bound by them yesterday. I said I said, "Guys, we have to come to a point where we either believe the word of God or we don't believe the word of God. A lot of this cultural things that people package as scripture, that people package as Christian. You tell me a story about somebody said he had a dream, and because of that I'm going to build a doctrine out of somebody who I don't know the truth of what they are saying said. How does that work? If if if if the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the name of the Lord is a strong tower. If that is where the righteous find safety, that is where the righteous find safety. Absolutely. If the Jesus said the work is finished, the work is finished. the interesting thing is and I always tell them humorously, I mean I don't when I'm having conversation because they're intellectuals, I always say to them, so they say they have ancestral curses or something, generational curses. I said, okay, tell me what your forefathers did Mhm. that is causing this curses. Our forefathers, apart from the fact that they are sleeping with other people's wives, what they did is minimal. I said, do you know what Germany did? So, people they call God's people. Yes. Hitler. Yeah. If there's any nation that should have generational curses, it's Germany. I said, do you know what Britain did to the rest of the world by colonizing Belgium. Belgium. King Leopold. King Leopold killed 6 million Congolese people. Those are the people that should have generational curses. But you go to Brussels, the place is not beautiful. And was born before a piece of wood in the backyard. What when I was going to become generational blessing instead of generational curses? This is why you see this is why we brought praise here because you people when I see these things in my mouth is smelling. Let somebody else interpret because these are things that don't make any sense. I I said, if the sky is blue in Dallas, for it to be a truth, it has to be blue in Timbuktu. Yes. Your revelation cannot be irrelevant in certain parts of the world. Then it's not a revelation. It's not. It's it's That's why you can't you can't call Donald Trump from Nigeria three times and he would die in White House. It's not possible. You can't even call the one in Nigeria, the one that's president of Nigeria. You can't call him because if those things can work on him, he would be dead. Like I said, if the witch has power why can't she use the power to better herself? I'll be. She can only use it to do wickedness to other people. It's it's belief and you know, I tell people that when Bible says to him that believes all things are possible. It's not a positive scripture, it's a neutral scripture. So, if you believe the witches are after you, you are correct. Right? And that's why I don't argue with people anymore. All right? The question is is it empowering? Does it make you confident? Does it make you free? Does it make If those beliefs don't set me free, me I'm not interested. I'm with you. Quick fire closing questions. What's one Nigerian tradition you absolutely love and will never abandon? Respect. Respect. What does respect mean? Um respect is um I think Respect and hospitality. Respect is acknowledging the greatness in the other person. Um that's something with Nigerian culture. That's the way my mother raised me. Okay. Okay, so so let's No, that's one for culture because respect means that you recognize the greatness in the elder. Yeah, but that was And the elder does not recognize the greatness in you. my grandfather raised my mom. That was what I So, I thank God for your life. So, let's ask you a Nigerian tradition, not a Yoruba family tradition. Yeah. Because that respect thing is one way. Is one way. You know what I'm talking about. I I understand. Is it one way? So, it goes up, it does not come down. That's why you said that Nigerian a lot of Nigerian parents don't respect their children, right? When I started pastoring the church in Dallas, I had a lot of young people in the church and a lot of pastors saw the young folks and they said, "Pastor Remi, how do you get young people to come to the church?" And I said, "You have to respect them." And it was a struggle. It was easier for them to put on jeans cuz they saw me wearing jeans. It was easier for them to start playing funky Kirk Franklin music and think that that was what attracted young people. I said to them just respecting them. Respecting their opinions, respecting their perspective. Don't relegate them to be the errand boys and errand girls that you send on errands. Listen to them. They have something to add. Something to add to your church, something to add to your life. And that was a problem cuz they could not they could not tolerate the idea that somebody will speak out of turn to them. Yeah? So, Let me ask you that question once again. One Nigerian tradition you absolutely love and will never abandon. Um would our meal pass as a tradition? In fact, that was the next thing I was going to ask you. What's your favorite Nigerian meal you'd recommend to somebody experiencing our cuisine for the first time? Amala and amala and abula. With that we're going to close this close this episode because amala is a horrible nasty looking thing to eat. I hate amala with a passion. How old are you? It looks it looks vile. No, but Let me tell you let me tell you. I'm going to answer the question for him. Rice and stew or banga soup. No, no. With some dodo. That's too common. That's very basic. Common does not make it Rice is everywhere. Rice and stew. Rice is everywhere. With common stew. Have you Have you done amala Have you done amala and abula? Yeah, God forbid. I mean that's Uh uh amala. Uh uh let me not tell you what I think of abula. It looks like baby baby stuff. Oh, that's where you're you're missing out. Uh uh I'm definitely not. You're you're missing out. Let me tell you what you want to try. Yeah. If you are going to try Nigerian food for the first time, let me tell you what you want to do. You want to find somebody who make you some nice fluffy white rice with independent grains, not the type that clump together in the no community in rice. Each grain for himself. And some palm oil buka stew with with with pepper, not the pepper that you'll be snorting, but the one that will just be, you know, How many how many how many on your tongue? Rice is And some fried meat cut into bite-size pieces. That's saying rice is not rice is universal. Is that a crime? Yeah, that's that's why it's not when you're talking about Nigerian food Uh-huh. I'm not going to pick rice. Okay. Right? I'm going to go for if you say pounded yam, right? If you say if you say amala, if you say eba, if you say you know Cassava did not come from Africa. It came from Latin America from the Indians, the Aztecs. I mean, but our own cassava is is what? It's totally different. All right, guys. Thank you so much, Praise. It was it was it was fun hanging out with you. Yeah. It was a great time. I hope we we were blessed. Remember, share, like, and subscribe. God bless you. Have a fantastic fantastic week. Bye. Unfiltered. So, we've had a really great time tonight, right? And if you want to get more information on the things that Praise has talked about, neurolinguistics and psychometry and family systems systems engineering, you can find him on Instagram, you can find him on TikTok. Yeah, I'm on TikTok, I'm on Facebook, and Facebook. He's on Facebook. Yeah, I'm on Facebook. Well, you have to talk to the old people, too. I know, because I mean, they they they they have a large population on Facebook because of that's where the parents And your handle is Praise Foward. I am Praise Foward on Instagram. And then, I mean, if you want to shoot me an email, first and last name at gmail. Yeah. Praise Foward at gmail. Yeah. And he always responds. Great guy. Thank you so much. All righty.